To ask how tf to cook?

[Easeljeasel]

Ok, this is embarrassing. I was raised in a house where the most ‘cooking’ that ever happened was fish fingers and oven chips. On repeat. Interspersed with potato waffles or, if extra effort was being made, a boil in the bag fish in parsley sauce with mash... Big processed potato theme as you can see.

Anyway, I went off to uni, have done well for myself career wise and now find myself late 30s, married with kids and in this crazy middle class world where people can actually really cook (I know it’s not a discretely middle class thing being able to cook btw, but over the years I have felt like the class thing has introduced dishes, ingredients - not to mention wines etc - others from my background have probably never heard of either).

Obviously this hasn’t been an overnight thing - in reality I’ve spent years and years going to dinner parties and cringing at the thought of reciprocating, buying cookery books and trying to learn but tbh just not sticking with it long enough for anything to ‘stick’ such that I feel I could achieve it without having to follow each step by step etc. All in all I find the whole thing intimidating and I’ve been too soft on myself for too long and not biting the bullet and getting on with learning.

As lock down starts to ease I know the invites are going to start returning (ultimate first world prob, I know) along with my anxiety about not being fit to reciprocate. And even outside of that my poor kids. They’re fine - more balanced diet than I ever had (not hard) but I’d love to start raising them with a lovely weekly schedule of healthy, home cooked meals rather than pastas and Waitrose fishcakes (my childhood fish fingers in slightly posher disguise!)

Any ideas on ‘starter’ meals to cook that:

A) kids will like on a school night

OR

B) I can use as a dinner party ‘go-to’, without having to perform 20 dry runs and a sleepness night of worry about it going tits up?!

SOS!

@RLRapunzel 100% helpful - including the all important dash of pretension! Thank you! Sweet potato soup is happening for sure...

Thinking about this op, back in the zillions of years ago before children and when they were small the friendly suppers and then the entertaining dinners which were still a thing 25 years ago and in DH's early career years got out of hand in the context of competitiveness and it became entirely tiresome.

There is nothing wrong in saying I don't cook and far better than I can't cook. There is also nothing wrong with buying good ready made food of you can afford it and there is a huge choice nowadays. Likewise there is nothing wrong with having a dinner party catered.

I was just thinking about helping you get to grips with sauces, let me introduce you Alex. Enjoy ...

*to Alex

I love this thread!

Digital scales, a stick blender, a good knife and a good book are your friends here.

Nigel Slater, Delia Smith and Nigella Lawson are, as others said, amazing for starting to cook.

I’d also say that although I’m a confident cook the least successful entertaining I’ve done has been when I’ve been too focused on the food to the detriment of a nice time with friends. These days unless I can do it the day before or cook it in my sleep it’s not on the menu!

I'm a confident cook now, but I wasn't taught at home either. My mum was a brilliant cook but she never taught me.
I can also highly recommend Delia, so it's good to hear you have ordered that. I also rate the BBC good food site.
What's transformed my own cooking has been the realisation that when you use onions in a soup or stew, it makes a huge difference if you sweat them properly in a little bit of oil (put in on medium heat then lower heat right down) for 10 mins (also add in chopped garlic, carrots, celery and mushrooms to add extra flavour but it's particularly important with the onions)
If there are any phrases you don't fully understand in recipe books, Google is your friend.
Start small with simple things. I still only offer up bolognaise or curry, or something from the slow cooker if I'm having people over. I find it too stressful to do a roast for more than just my family - I struggle getting everything hot on the plate all at the right time.
I really like cooking things that can be prepared ahead of time too. So I can just reheat it for the evening. I hate coming in from work and having to start cooking, so preparation is key.
Look up the Batch Lady on Fb too. Good luck!

Also, you can ask your friends to help you! Just be honest that you’re trying to learn and could they teach you some of their tricks 🙂

No one knows everything and people live being asked for their help!

I only started cooking when I started weaning DS 13 years ago. The first cookery book I bought was an Annabelle Karmel recipe book for kids and I fed DS only home cooked food. I even made my own jellies using fruit purée etc. Made a rod for my own back as he would only eat home cooked food (no jars or punches) until he was 2yo.

Anyway. Then I started cooking for me and DH! I always come back to my Delia Complete Cookery course. I find it so much easier than anyone else’s. She has basics and builds on them.

The bbc good food website was some really easy and tasty recipes too, look for ones that are described as ‘easy’ and have high star ratings.

I am still amazed by how good things that I’ve made taste! I had such low expectations at the outset.

We also received a Kenwood chef as a wedding present, and it has opened up so many recipes to me as it does everything so quickly.

If you aren’t looking to spend too much, and you’d be wise not to at this stage, I’d really recommend a digital scales (mine are salter, from tk maxx) and a set of measuring spoons to include half a teaspoon, teaspoon, dessert spoon and tablespoon, and the oxo plastic measuring jugs - a 60ml if you can, but definitely a 250ml and (if you can) a 500ml or so too.

Online Jamie family the stuff hes done recently and on catch up on c4 and BBC good food...most reliable websites.. if you want a book Marcella Hazan classic Italian...bullet proof recipes..and risotto to die for.and even menus...its a bit bossy! But my dyspraxic 14year old can follow..and cook something amazing..
Other than that buy books of food you like
eg Moro for southern Spanish-bullet proof paella and tapas if nothing else.. river cottage vegetarian and family for basics..anything by nigel slater as its like cooking with someone beside you...
Jay Rayner has done a lockdown series about cookbooks and its great for ideas
I love food and like cooking when have time but find cooking for others stressful (which is odd as am probably the best cook in my group of friends 😅)stuff i can prepare in advance /buy is my tip...

Also, a thought. When I started out, I found books without lots of photos really difficult. As a novice, its extremely helpful to have a picture of the end result, to know what you’re aiming for.

Can’t wait to get back to the shops and browse cookery books: charity shops are treasure troves.

Leiths How To Cook Book is also probably the best cookery book I've come across, really instructive and covers everything!

Agree with this. It tells you what to do and why.

You Tube - especially if you aren't finding books are doing it for you. There are some really great home cooks posting videos.

Possibly find a book with videos - there is a tendency to be a bit cheffy. I find cooking programmes next to useless because they spend all their time lingering on pouts and "personality".

A friend who likes cooking - get them to help you with a couple of dishes.

Prep all the ingredients and make sure you have all the pots and utensils to hand. It takes longer but it forces you to read and visualise the recipe before you start. That way you are less likely to go wrong.

For the dinner party meals - Put chopped herbs / sprinkle of contrasting spice on everything savoury and edible dried flower petals scattered around plates for deserts. In soups a swirl of cream. Master the plating and you can serve anything and people will be impressed.

Alternatively - hold a cocktail party for the return invites.

I'd advise you start slow and simple and practice a lot!

What can you cook at the moment to give us an idea of your skill level? Is it still more freezer to oven things (fish fingers and oven chips type thing) or a bit more advanced?

Any dietary needs or preferences in the family!

I'm veggie and have been all my adult life so while I'm a pretty competent and confident cook and baker of veggie food I had to learn to cook meat when married and for dd (I didn't want to decide for her) and I worried a lot I was doing it wrong and about food poisoning etc and still tend to overcook it I think.

Start with basics:

How to peel and prep fruit and veg

How to select cuts of meat and fish (ask butcher/fishmonger to do any difficult prep. They're generally very helpful and have the tools which many of us don't at home)

How to make soups/stews/casseroles - these are VERY simple and very flexible/forgiving yet can seem like you've done a lot of work. I made a casserole yesterday takes no time at all to prep it's the cooking time that takes a long time and that allows the flavours to develop

Don't be afraid or ashamed to use shortcuts - lazy garlic, frozen diced onion, tinned tomatoes, fresh pasta (tonight's dinner here), ready prepped veggies are all perfectly acceptable. Even the ready made sauces aren't as bad as made out on mn - or at least until you learnt to make your own.

BBC good food is an excellent site for recipes, you can even look up by ingredient and filter by how easy the recipe is.

Learn what the various terms mean. Make good use of YouTube and watch cookery shows - even masterchef professionals can give ideas for simple tricks to use (professional chefs save time wherever they can! Without skimping on quality of food) and the voiceovers often explain things. I've been binge watching ready steady cook lately - that's super simple as they only have 10/20 mins to do it!

Build it up gradually - don't be trying a new recipe every day for a week! I read a tip somewhere that one new recipe a week is enough as otherwise you get overwhelmed and give up.

Don't worry about errors/disasters they happen! Learn from it and adjust next time you make the recipe. I made a horrifically thick scotch broth my first attempt you could cement bricks with it! I now make a lovely pot of broth now I understand better how to use Pearl barley

Nadiya Hussain is amazing! Agreed. Jamie Oliver too for writing recipes simply as is delia

I keep a "folder" in my notes app of links to favourite recipes or ones I want to try.

Mushroom stroganoff is a favourite and I've done it so often now I barely need to glance at the recipe.

I agree for dinner parties dishes that can be served "family style" with guests serving themselves. I'm not a fan of curry/chilli these days myself when others have cooked as I can't eat spicy food any more, but stews (of which stroganoff is one I've found that can be popular), casseroles, and similar work well, can be prepped well in advance (indeed this often makes them taste better) serve with any number of carb choices (potatoes, rice, Cous Cous, pasta, even just "naice" bread rolls or artisan bread you've bought in) and veggies and salads and you're unlikely to get complaints! Salads or soup as starters can be made in advance, soup is really easy and can be made weeks in advance, frozen and reheated on the day no problem. Choose a make ahead dessert too and then all the prep you have to do on the evening is minimal.

Easy desserts - Eton mess, cheesecake served with fresh fruit, cranachan (sounds fancy, super easy!), hell get in posh ice cream and some accompaniments (the nice fan wafers, chocolate dipped wafers, nougat and oyster ones, sprinkles - go mad! Or brandy snap baskets to serve in with a simple strawberry and mint garnish)

I would say the absolute easiest thing to learn that's "proper cooking" is a good tomato pasta sauce from scratch (I say from scratch I use tinned toms) - you'll never go back to oversweet but otherwise flavourless dolmio type sauces!

I have loads of cook books but I consistently return to the BBC Good Food website. It’s all in sections - family, one pot, tray bakes, easy entertaining etc.

I also have a slow cooker which saves me on week days!

Jamie Oliver is also good, but not the 15 minute meals book - written really oddly and there’s no way you can do it in 15 minutes!

Mary Berry, Delia and Nigella are all great, and I’m starting to try out lots of Nadia from Bake Off’s recipes too. They all crop up on the Good Food website too.

OP you've had loads of great suggestions here for easing yourself into cooking from scratch, hopefully they're helping you get started. But on the 'dinner party' front I would say don't tie yourself in knots. You mention Waitrose, so if you've got one nearby have a look at their 'Easy to Cook' ranges - not ready meals but prepared raw dishes so you're not having to mess around with ingredients ie they do chicken breasts wrapped in proscuitto with herby butter & asparagus (my favourite) - all ready to pop in the oven for half an hour. Something like that with some steamed green veg and rice makes a wonderful grown-up dinner, without you needing to stress yourself out with trial-runs and sleepless nights beforehand.

If you want a fool proof recipe that is guaranteed to work then you need Delia, she has videos on her website that are so useful and she goes through the steps slowly. This is her video of how to make an omelette and then shows you how to take what you have learnt to make three or four other dishes.

Jamie, Nigella et al are great but not as precise in ingredients or timings which when you are unsure is a bit nerve wracking.

www.deliaonline.com/cookery-school/second-term-perfect-eggs/lesson-4-omelettes Might have helped if I’d pasted the video in!

So much great advice on this thread already.

If I could add anything it would be that if you’re having people round for tea, buy in the dessert. I used to run myself ragged but now will serve up a nice cheesecake or something that I’ve bought and just say something like “right I’ve made two courses, now I’m relaxing, credit to this one goes to Iceland/Lidl” etc. Now DD (12) is getting good I ask her if she wants to make something and if not, the shops it is. One time for a family gathering I got a croquembouche (sp?) in the Iceland clearance for a fiver and all the kids had a great time assembling it.

I had to teach myself to cook (pre internet) and got basic books like the ones already mentioned or the like. Lots of jars and packet sauces have recipe ideas on the back. I started with a Schwartz shepherds pie packet and went from there. I also have a Gill Holcombe book called “How to feed your family....” (epically long title) which is a really useful book but no pictures.

Someone suggested children’s cookbooks and that’s a great idea as it covers basic equipment and what terms mean.

I now love cooking and am quite good, but I didn’t start out good. I was the kid who welded a hot baking tray to a carrier bag in Home Ecc....

You can do this OP.

Check out BBC good food and the recipes labelled 'easy'

An absolutely 'go to' on a week night is this www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/easy-risotto-bacon-peas
Clean plates in this household