To ask how tf to cook?

[Easeljeasel]

Ok, this is embarrassing. I was raised in a house where the most ‘cooking’ that ever happened was fish fingers and oven chips. On repeat. Interspersed with potato waffles or, if extra effort was being made, a boil in the bag fish in parsley sauce with mash... Big processed potato theme as you can see.

Anyway, I went off to uni, have done well for myself career wise and now find myself late 30s, married with kids and in this crazy middle class world where people can actually really cook (I know it’s not a discretely middle class thing being able to cook btw, but over the years I have felt like the class thing has introduced dishes, ingredients - not to mention wines etc - others from my background have probably never heard of either).

Obviously this hasn’t been an overnight thing - in reality I’ve spent years and years going to dinner parties and cringing at the thought of reciprocating, buying cookery books and trying to learn but tbh just not sticking with it long enough for anything to ‘stick’ such that I feel I could achieve it without having to follow each step by step etc. All in all I find the whole thing intimidating and I’ve been too soft on myself for too long and not biting the bullet and getting on with learning.

As lock down starts to ease I know the invites are going to start returning (ultimate first world prob, I know) along with my anxiety about not being fit to reciprocate. And even outside of that my poor kids. They’re fine - more balanced diet than I ever had (not hard) but I’d love to start raising them with a lovely weekly schedule of healthy, home cooked meals rather than pastas and Waitrose fishcakes (my childhood fish fingers in slightly posher disguise!)

Any ideas on ‘starter’ meals to cook that:

A) kids will like on a school night

OR

B) I can use as a dinner party ‘go-to’, without having to perform 20 dry runs and a sleepness night of worry about it going tits up?!

SOS!

You just need to follow a recipe and stick to it to the absolute letter.....sounds easy but....also need to pick up a few bits of equipment, don’t spend a lot but pair of digital scales, an electric hand whisk, measuring jugs/spoons will stand you in good stead, also a slow cooker.

I think it all depends what you/your kids like to eat! There’s so many cook books out there. My tip would be to batch cook and flat freeze, in our house that means, curries (hairy biker ones are also nice/authentic tasting and easy’ish), chilli, Bolognese, lamb or chicken tagine. We also have quick things from scratch like fish tacos or chicken fajitas and homemade beef burgers. I saw Heck are now doing chicken mince which I thought would be nice for homemade chicken burgers in the week. Oh also meatballs which I make a quick arrabitaia sauce to go with.

In terms of cookbooks I Madeline Shaw’s books personally, never cooked a bad meal from her recipes. Also Delia’s how to cook.

My dinner party go to is a lovely joint of meat, I often get the ones from M&S food to order, lamb shoulder or rib of beef. Then do a potato dauphinoise, you can make that in the morn and just have it ready to go in the oven, I would normally do a nice reduced sauce and steamed green veggies with it it. Don’t bother with a starter I sometimes do a canapé style thing or two with some olives/nice nibbles, again make them before I go get ready then they’re good to go, just goes cheese and some chutney on those little crostini bites or something similar. For something. More something relaxed I do Greek mezze or or chilli with nachos, homemade salsa and guacamole etc. And some lethal Margaritas!

Pud, if you don’t want to make it (but they are easy) see if you can find a local brownie delivery place, serve them warm with a really good quality ice cream - yummy and easy.

frumpyswayingqueen

Of course! Chicken and vegetable stock cubes@Easeljeasel”

I thought that too until I made stock from chicken wings and carcass. The depth of flavour just isn’t there with cubes or jellies, makes such a difference to the flavour.

I learnt to cook via Delia (her first book), Mary Berry cook now, eat later and a lot of Hugh fearnley whittingstall. Still love the latter. Also love the roasting tin books. Easy but nice enough for a dinner party. Learn how to make a white sauce and you've got lasagne, mac n cheese, fish pie etc covered. Learn how to make a good ragu and again you've got lasagne, chilli, various pasta covered. Learn the general recipe for a good casserole, a good curry and a good roast. Sorted!

You need Jamie Oliver's Ministry of Food. It was written exactly for people like you who have never learned to cook. I had never cooked meat (been veggie for 30 years) but thought I should learn a few basic meat dishes for DC. I knew absolutely nothing about cooking meat but using Ministry of Food, I consistently produced meals that were (apparently) great. I never tried them obviously. Los of Jamie's other books are much more complicated.

I absolutely love Nadiya Hussain’s books (and tv shows!). I’d definitely recommend them. One of the most entertaining book/show combos I’ve seen recently for beginners was James May’s ‘Oh, Cook!’. The book breaks everything down for you and adds some humour!

I recommend BBC good food rather than recipe books, a because it’s free, b because you can save recipes you liked and c because it has loads of user reviews which will tell you whether the recipe is good or not (or the reviews may say the recipe is great but you need to add salt, or cook the potatoes twice as long as it says).

However it may be useful to have a Delia for the basic methods of how to brown meat, boil an egg. I learned to cook from Nigel Slater but he’s not very precise on timings...

Easy and useful meals to start with:

• Soups - easy if you get a stick blender
• Bolognese (BBCgoodfood Big batch bolognese is great)
• Basic tomato pasta sauce
• Eggs of all sorts - scrambled boiled fried omelettes
• Risotto. Really easy and versatile
• A very basic curry (using a bought paste)
• Roast chicken
• Stir fry
• Lamb or beef casserole- very forgiving (hard to cock up) and freezes well

I also recommend some time saving cheats such as frozen chopped onion, frozen soffrito, garlic and ginger paste, decent stock cubes or stock pots (I like Kallo). I also buy cheese sauce because I cannot make a white sauce!

I’m place marking here as I’ve not read the entire thread yet.

My issue with cooking from scratch, you will and eye roll is, it’s similar to maths imo, keep practising and it will stick but dip in and out and nope! Meaning, I have made some great dishes in the past, sometimes from cooking magazines etc but ask me to do it again snd I just can’t remember! It must be me but this is the area I struggle with!

Regarding “dinner parties” - like everything else in life: be yourself! What do you love eating? Learn to do that and treat your friends to it! And since you love it, it will be a pretty good skill to acquire even if you don’t have friends round.
I’m a very experienced cook but the things that seem to really impress people are terribly simple: things like a salad of thinly sliced orange, raw beetroot and peppery leaves (supermarket bag) accompanying some barbecued lamb. All you need is a sharp knife and Google. That said, I’m not trying to impress anyone: I just want to feed them well and make them happy. I’m sure you feel the same. So please yourself! What would you enjoy? You can always buy nice things that don’t need any prep to take the pressure off: supermarket charcuterie or smoked salmon etc nice bread, a dressed salad... there’s your starter. Invest in a few platters or big oval dishes so it looks pretty- strew with rocket leaves or herbs, a few lemon wedges or whatever - done. Don’t get anxious about it, sharing food with people you like is one of life’s pleasures!

*recipes from cooking magazines

The free magazines they give away at supermarkets are good for inspiration too as they tend to only list ingredients you can buy there rather than obscure stuff.
They also have stuff sponsored by the the people that make the jars like Homepride or whoever.

Check out, using Amazon’s look inside feature :-
Salt fat acid heat by Samin Nosrat
New complete techniques by Jaques Pepin
Yes to Delia and Jamie too.

No shame in it, op!

Take a look at student cook books - they'll have a range of recipes starting with the most basic and are designed to give easy to cook recipes for ppl just starting out. Lots of crowd pleaser in them too.

Leiths How To Cook Book is also probably the best cookery book I've come across, really instructive and covers everything!

YouTube is your friend - Gordon Ramsey does instructional videos (how to chop an onion etc) but you don't need to stick with well known chefs for help and inspiration.

Good old Delia Smith has useful beginners stuff on her website too.

You can totally do this.

Here are my suggestions:

-start by learning how to do some basic marinades, eg tandoori chicken or teriyaki, or basic curry paste (Jamie Oliver has a good Thai green curry recipe). This will help you think about ingredients and flavours - eg how to use yogurt, honey, herbs in your cooking. It’s pretty hard to mess up teriyaki or tandoori chicken - marinate thighs or drumsticks, cook in oven for 30 minutes, ready to eat.

• stock up on lots of dried herbs and spices, corn flour, soy sauce, fish sauce, passata, various types of sugar (brown, golden caster etc), vegetable and olive oil, frozen peas, tinned sweet corn, coconut milk, panko breadcrumbs, oxo cubes, frozen soffrito, lemon juice, eggs, plain yogurt, cream of tomato soup, basmati and jasmine rice. If you have these you can always rustle up a meal, whether it’s soup, curry, fried rice etc.

• buy a rice cooker if you don’t have one, it’s a real game changer. Good fluffy rice is a great base for a meal.

• get yourself a recipe app - they are really useful for downloading online recipes and making notes of how you tweaked them, what works, what doesn’t etc. I use Recipe Gallery, but there are many others.

You’ve got this - I also started cooking in my mid thirties and fast forward a decade or so, I’m pretty decent and have built a repertoire 😄.

I disagree with following recipes to the letter, because once you can cook you will see that many are just wrong or don't work because everyone's hob, oven, pans etc behave differently.

So my tip would be to trust your judgement and don't be afraid to deviate if something doesn't seem right. Eg onions usually take a lot longer to cook properly than it says in the recipe. The Jamie Oliver ministry of food book is good but the amount of water he says to add to the pasta and mince in sauce recipes is far too much, so I'd put a lot less in as it's a lot easier to add a bit more later than boil it down when you have a pan of watery slop.

Once you get confident you'll be able to see the recipe as a guide and just do your own thing.

On spices, look in the Asian section for packets of spices far cheaper than the Schwartz jars. Plus get frozen cubes of crushed garlic and ginger.

Leith’s Cookery Bible is very good at explaining exactly how to do things with illustrations.

Delia Smith’s Delia’s Complete Cookery Course is also very good.

Having a book to refer to while using one of the subscription services would be a good start.

I also like Delia and Jamie Oliver, both easy to follow. The thing to do is start with a few simple dishes and practice them, until you feel more confident.

Pasta dishes aren’t too difficult. Meat more tricky, fish even more difficult. My tip for foolproof meat, is to choose slow cooked meat. If you want a roast, then shoulder of pork or lamb are good.

I would definitely ignore cooking instructions that come with what you’ve bought. I once bought some swordfish from Sainsbury’s, which recommended grilling for 20 minutes each side. This instruction is hilarious, as fish cooks in just a few minutes. The swordfish had two minutes each side, pan fried!

Delia Smith, Mary Berry, Jamie Oliver's ministry of food

My main tips -

Allow plenty of time
Everything takes longer to cook than you expect
If you have guests over, cold food is less stressful
Prepare curry in advance, so you just have to reheat it. Buy a rice cooker

Learn to make a basic tomato sauce. Chop and fry and onion on low heat in oil (or use frozen chopped onions) till soft. Add garlic and fry. Add a spoonful of tomato purée and cook for a minute, add a tin of tomatoes and then a tin of water and mixed herbs. Reduce on low heat.
Once you have mastererd this it is the gateway to spag bol, chilli...all sorts.

Bit trickier but also recommend learning how to do a roux. Very satisfying and a gateway to cauliflower cheese and mac cheese and lasagne

Another vote for Jamie's Ministry of Food for decent weeknight meals.

I love to cook/bake and wouldn't be without Good Food mag every month, it's the only one I regularly cook 3 or 4 recipes from rather than just look at the pictures. Easy Cook is also a great mag for simple recipes.

Another recommendation for Ministry of Food.

All the basics and also how to vary the recipe eg mince for cottage pie adapted to make chilli / bolognaise etc.

If you have a dinner party have a cold starter & pudding or a starter like soup that requires no last minute effort. Puddings that can just be put on the table with a jug of cream are the best.

There are things you can start with that are reliably delicious and yet are very very little effort/not at all technical. You need to build up a little stock of stuff you know you can do, and your confidence will just grow and grow until it's not scary or difficult at all
My suggestions would be: roast chicken, good roast potatoes, a simple vinaigrette for making leafy stuff delicious, and some ideas for cooking veg that don't need fussing . (For instance, I cooked some carrots in a foil parcel in the oven when some other stuff was cooking, just with sweet chilli sauce and a knob of butter, was delicious)
Also one very simple thing- salt - under seasoned food never tastes that great.
When your confidence grows you start making stuff that you really fancy eating and then it becomes a joy.

Yes don't be afraid to put salt in food you cook yourself.

It's likely to be far less than what's in a lot of processed food.

@AcornAutumn

Is the Simply Cook stuff all freeze dried? Seems odd.

Is it easy enough to cancel? I've just seen a first box for £1 thing.

I love simply cook, not freeze dried, you get three pots of 'flavour'. So if you cook eg a Balinese curry from scratch you'd need to buy 10 spices, instead it's portioned out. I've had it for a couple of years, we just get a box of four a month now as have taken the ideas of the things we really like.

Quite a lot of people are like you, OP - fear not!

I'd get a book or two and start working through things you fancy. Practice will mean you start to get a feel for how things work. If you want systematic ingredients and techniques the white Delia How To Cook are very good and they have a lot of very tasty recipes that wouldn't be out of place at a dinner party. BBC Good Food Magazine might be a another place to try. Nigella's How To Cook gives you multiple menus and she chats through them in a reassuring way.