To ask how tf to cook?

[Easeljeasel]

Ok, this is embarrassing. I was raised in a house where the most ‘cooking’ that ever happened was fish fingers and oven chips. On repeat. Interspersed with potato waffles or, if extra effort was being made, a boil in the bag fish in parsley sauce with mash... Big processed potato theme as you can see.

Anyway, I went off to uni, have done well for myself career wise and now find myself late 30s, married with kids and in this crazy middle class world where people can actually really cook (I know it’s not a discretely middle class thing being able to cook btw, but over the years I have felt like the class thing has introduced dishes, ingredients - not to mention wines etc - others from my background have probably never heard of either).

Obviously this hasn’t been an overnight thing - in reality I’ve spent years and years going to dinner parties and cringing at the thought of reciprocating, buying cookery books and trying to learn but tbh just not sticking with it long enough for anything to ‘stick’ such that I feel I could achieve it without having to follow each step by step etc. All in all I find the whole thing intimidating and I’ve been too soft on myself for too long and not biting the bullet and getting on with learning.

As lock down starts to ease I know the invites are going to start returning (ultimate first world prob, I know) along with my anxiety about not being fit to reciprocate. And even outside of that my poor kids. They’re fine - more balanced diet than I ever had (not hard) but I’d love to start raising them with a lovely weekly schedule of healthy, home cooked meals rather than pastas and Waitrose fishcakes (my childhood fish fingers in slightly posher disguise!)

Any ideas on ‘starter’ meals to cook that:

A) kids will like on a school night

OR

B) I can use as a dinner party ‘go-to’, without having to perform 20 dry runs and a sleepness night of worry about it going tits up?!

SOS!

AgeLikeWine

When you do start cooking, you might struggle to master some techniques. I can’t make decent pastry, despite numerous attempts. My mum says this is because I have got ‘hot hands’. Whatever. It doesn’t matter, though, because Waitrose sells far better pastry than I could ever make for very reasonable prices. So I use that.“

Me too, until I added an egg yolk care of Raymond Blanc. Works every time. Another person I know adds a couple of teaspoons of cornflour to shortcrust and it’s lovely.

I also would suggest Gousto.

Also the huge selection of recipes available on Laurainthekitchen.com that includes a full demonstration. Good luck!

@Harpydragon

Delia smith did a series of 3 books called How to cook. She quite literally starts off telling you how to boil an egg! If you have no or very little skill in the kitchen,these are the books for you. She starts off slow and guides you through all sorts of techniques and recipes. Thoroughly recommend it.

I agree, this is excellent for getting the hang of basic techniques, which will build your confidence.

Mary Berry's baking recipes are foolproof, and her raspberry mousse is to die for (and would be a nice easy dinner party dessert as you can do it in advance, and then gussie it up with a few fresh raspberries just before serving). I'm also a huge fan of Nigel Slater, his recipes aren't generally complicated, are always delicious and I've never tried one that didn't work.

And taste as you cook, so you can adjust the seasoning as you go along.

Delia how to cook cookbooks - I remember reading these years ago and covered simple basics like eggs and how to do rice well.

@DenisetheMenace

AgeLikeWine

When you do start cooking, you might struggle to master some techniques. I can’t make decent pastry, despite numerous attempts. My mum says this is because I have got ‘hot hands’. Whatever. It doesn’t matter, though, because Waitrose sells far better pastry than I could ever make for very reasonable prices. So I use that.“

Me too, until I added an egg yolk care of Raymond Blanc. Works every time. Another person I know adds a couple of teaspoons of cornflour to shortcrust and it’s lovely.

At least you know you can't make pastry.

Sometimes my pastry is fab, other times, it's shite. And the times it's shite is always when I have guests.

I can't fathom why it varies, as I always make it the same way.

for family meals watch the hairy bikers programs they do some very good simple to cook dishes that are very tasty

If you can spare the money, Gousto is worth it - make sure you get a discount code! I was a bit sceptical when we first tried it, but we haven't had a bad meal yet from it & find the portion sizes really generous.

Also BBC good food & Jamie Oliver are good - his most recent show has some simple food ideas, but if you want a book the Ministry of Food or 5 ingredient meal books are great.

I agree with @GlumyGloomer, one of the things that really got me more confident with cooking and trying things was a desire to make homemade versions of the food I like in restaurants or from shops. I could quite happily exist off pasta and shop bought sauce but for the sake of my health and trying to add some variety to my diet, I started trying out different recipes for things we enjoy.

For example - I do a homemade pasta and mascarpone sauce which is DELICIOUS and even better than the shop version. Homemade wedges rather than chips, homemade tomato sauces/white sauce/bolognese, simple curries etc - and now I’m a much more confident cook and can make more complex meals.

Tonight we had chicken shawarma with flatbreads, which is a recipe I found last year after I tried it at a cafe (pre-lockdown) - and it’s so easy! Marinade the chicken in a spiced marinade for at least two hours, then roast for 30 minutes. Low effort, delicious, and healthy (I chop up veg and Chuck that in to roast with the chicken). I make the flatbreads but you could always buy some or use tortillas!

@Chicchicchicchiclana

I'd sympathise if you were 21 but you are late 30s. There comes a time when adults have to take responsibility for themselves. If in doubt google.

She is. Don't be a dick.

I agree with a basic mince tomato sauce.

~Chop an onion finely and cook it in some oil with garlic puree until it is soft.
~Add the mince and brown it.
~Add a stock cube/pot and a little water.

Then:
Spaghetti Bolognese/lasagne: Add two tins of tomatoes, tomato puree, and herbs.
Chili: Add 1 tin tomatoes, and spices as listed in the bbcgoodfood recipe above, then 1 tin of kidney beans.
Cottage pie: Add mixed vegetables.
All: simmer to reduce and thicken.

Top tip is to add a small cube of dark chocolate to the tomato sauce. It gives it richness.

I honestly think, rather than hello
Fresh or Gousto, you'd be better off trying really simple meals and having success with those before moving on to other things. Simple meals I teach my kids to cook are-

-Spanish omelette

• Lasagne with cheese sauce instead of white sauce
• paella with king prawns and chorizo
• slow cooked beef stew
• cottage pie
• fruit crumble

They're simple crowd pleasers and what you learn from one dish can be applied to others. All you need in a home kitchen is confidence and that comes from getting things right. Simple things that are especially enjoyable are the way to go!

I have not yet found meat + jar of sauce combination that doesn't work. I shove it in the oven for 30 minutes regardless of what the meat is. Sometimes I put cheese on top. Experiment on your kids first before dinner parties!

I love Gousto, just be aware that the recipes can be recreated much more simply without compromising the taste. So don't be intimidated and think it would be impossible to do on your own.

My suggestion learn how to cook white sauce and mince. These can be used for a few dishes - Shepherds pie, cottage pie, bolognese, lasagne, moussaka, macaroni cheese, cauliflower cheese.

Roasting vegetables;
Cous cous;
Salads (easy peas, just chopping but they can be really inspired and full of flavour - Moroccan, Turkish, Lebanese);
Kebab style meat is easy to make from scratch.

Here are a couple of my favourites
www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/roast_cauliflower_with_46960
www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/cheeky-chicken-satay

My daughter(5) is really fussy and has only just started eating home cooked chicken ( diced or skewered) and it has to be in sauce or marinade. We are slowly working our way through as many as possible - satay, Thai curries, shish kebabs, mojito mint marinade, tandoori. Every Saturday is a variant of chicken and rice. None of these require complicated techniques.

are there any community kitchens near you, that offer free or low cost cookery classes? Great for building confidence and learning simple recipes you can repeat and get the confidence to repeat and put your own twist on them.

You may not need to live that close now - I co-host zoom classes with many international delegates, and some chefs; although some charities may restrict based on locality for free classes, often depending on the funder.

Hi OP! For everyday cooking I will join forces with your kids if old enough. Sit down with them and prepare a meal plan for the week. They can choose with you and help prepare. Bbc good food is great for ideas.
Add one or 2 new meals every week so isn't overwhelming.
For hosting, you have 2 choices do a tapas style display, that will include lots of things that is only opening and serve and maybe just heating. Cheese, cold cuts, salads (salad bag and dressing shop bought), bread, houmous, dips.
If you are doing a sit down dinner. Choose a main that will not overcook (chicken thighs, ox cheek, beef shin, lamb/pork shoulder), and easy starter (mussels in white wine, soup, baked brie) and pudding that can be made the day before and left in the fridge (chocolate mousse, lemon posset, coffee cream caramel)
Keep the drinks flowing!

I grew up eating similar food and couldn't wait to move out and start cooking like Keith Floyd!

There are loads of great resources online these days and I can imagine it must seem a bit overwhelming if you're not confident.

You could start of with a few favourite dishes that perhaps you buy ready made and learn how to do those. You will be surprised how easy it can be. Delia and the Bbc goodfood are sure bets.

I bought my older son an Annabel Karmel cookbook for his 6th birthday and I still cook recipes from it today, nearly 12 years later. The recipes were easy and well-explained with not too many ingredients and we had lots of fun together. Perhaps you could do something like that with your children too?

Also, healthy food doesn't have to be complicated. Tomorrow's lunch is an easy affair here, and could easily replace fish fingers/fish cakes. It takes 35 mins max with very little prep.

Turn oven on to 180 degrees.
Wash new potatoes in colander and cut any big ones in half.
Put them in an oven dish, drizzle about 1tbsp olive oil over them.
Sprinkle 1/4 tsp of salt and a few grinds of pepper. Stir around wirh large spoon to coat. Put in oven. They take 30 mins.
Wash courgettes. Cut in half lengthways then slice, put in another oven tray with olive oil, s & p. Stir. Put in 10 mins after the potatoes. Give potatoes a stir. (you could put them in the same dish with the potatoes).
Line another oven dish with baking paper. Wash salmon filets. Put in oven dish. Add a drizzle of olive oil, lemon juice (1 tbspn), s & p. Put in oven just after the courgettes. The fish should take 15 mins.
Melt 25g of butter in a small saucepan on a medium-low heat (3 or 4 on my induction hob). Add the juice of one lemon and 1tspn Dijon mustard. Stir with wooden spoon to combine. Add 2 tbsps crème fraîche. Stir to combine. Turn the heat right down to keep it warm while you're waiting for the fish & vegetables to cook. Voilà! Healthy fish n chips!

Any chef/recipe from the food network. They really break it down for you. Foolproof recipes.

All great advice here - but I think your partner should cook too so the dinner party pressure is not all on you.

I have dinner party invite envy OP! We never get invited anywhere! Although I would have to do a lot of tidying before anyone came here.

@AcornAutumn the simply cook boxes have the spices, stock, flavourings for a meal. You buy your own food for the recipe. I really like them, you don't have to use them immediately like hello fresh etc. Easy to cancel.

That’s a really good point, stock. It makes a really noticeable difference to the end result.

I was also going to recommend BBC Good Food. DH likes The Hairy Bikers & Mary Berry.

What about something like gusto, really easy recipes to follow

In terms of staples in your store cupboard/herb & spice rack/fridge if you aren't used to cooking, these are the things I use most:

Salt
Black pepper
Thyme
Oregano
Garlic powder
Ground cumin
Cayenne pepper
Smoked paprika
Ground cinammon
Hot curry powder

Tinned tomatoes
Tomato purée

Dijon mustard
Crème fraîche

Fresh garlic
Fresh ginger
Lemons & limes

Frozen parsley, basil, chives & coriander

I wouldn't buy anything unless you plan to actually use it though, obviously.

Of course! Chicken and vegetable stock cubes!