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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That I want to move house but DP doesn’t

64 replies

Sparkles556 · 09/04/2021 08:54

This may be a long one. Next door neighbours moved in (a couple) around 2 months ago and ever since they’ve been here there’s been nothing but disruption. They have people round all the time drinking, which then leads to loud music, singing and just general noise. It goes on until the early hours (even on weekdays) Then there’s the arguing between them both. The other day they were having a screaming match at 1 in the morning. I genuinely think they were having a fight. There was very loud banging and I think he was smashing the room up. A couple of weeks ago I was in the bathroom and I could smell weed. I looked out of the window and they were both in the garden smoking it. Because they talk that loud, we can hear every word and we have since found out they sell it too which means they have people are knocking on their door or they will go out every half an hour I presume to sell it. Oh and they for some reason bang the front door very loud when they are coming in and out. Then there’s the sex they have every other day that usually happens anytime between 12-3 in the early hours. She screams like she’s a pornstar and sometimes I think the headboard is going to come through our walls. I have 2 DS’s. One being 4 and the other 5 weeks and have on numerous occasions woken them both up. Last night was the final straw for me. Baby had me up from 10-2 with no sleep in between. I think he has some kind of milk intolerance but last night it was really bad. If he wasn’t being sick, it was coming out the other end. I finally managed to get him to sleep just after 2. 5 minutes later, the shagging starts and wakes him up which then took another half an hour to get him to sleep again. Oh and I am completely dreading the summer and the BBQ’s they are apparently going to have. I am at my wits end. I really don’t want to sound a killjoy and I understand people can do what they want in their own homes but I think this is a joke. I would move tomorrow but DP wouldn’t as he “doesn’t think they are that bad” but he is very, very laid back and not much bothers him. I just don’t know what to do. There isn’t really any reason why we can’t move in my opinion. We are currently private renting so I don’t see why we can’t private rent somewhere else. I also know that there is no guarantee that if we do move, those neighbours will be the prefect neighbours but I genuinely don’t think it could get much worse.

OP posts:
TimmyOnTheBrain · 09/04/2021 08:58

I would move. You're renting so moving is pretty straightforward.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 09/04/2021 09:03

Move
or let partner take care of non-sleeping children

userxx · 09/04/2021 09:05

Move. Living next door to that will get you down.

weareallpassengers · 09/04/2021 09:06

That really is a no brainer. move.,why on earth would you stay. that's a big benefit of renting

Iamtooknackeredtorun · 09/04/2021 09:06

Go as fast as you can. Living next door to that would make me unbearably unhappy. They won't change. It will get worse.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 09/04/2021 09:08

Move. Bad neighbours will ruin your life.

somuchcoffeeneeded · 09/04/2021 09:10

Move

KingdomScrolls · 09/04/2021 09:11

Call the police tell them your next door neighbour is selling drugs?

Sparkles556 · 09/04/2021 09:14

@KingdomScrolls I have considered that but admittedly I am a bit of a wimp and would be worried about the repercussions I may get from them

OP posts:
Stillfunny · 09/04/2021 09:15

If it is upsetting you , he has to move . I had this when my baby was born , it broke my heart that the lovely nightimes I imagined had horrible fighting and noise in the background.
I actually called an estate agent the next day to start the process as we owned the property.

There is no substitute for security and peace of mind within your home. .

JustNotFunAnymore · 09/04/2021 09:18

Without the drug issues we are in a similar boat. My husband wants to move but I love where we live and the kids have a great life here with some wonderful friends. We own our home so not as easy to move. Dh has started a noise diary. We know it will get worse.

Sparkles556 · 09/04/2021 09:24

@JustNotFunAnymore it’s horrible isn’t it. Before they moved in I really enjoyed living here. It used to be very quiet. I’ve told DP that I don’t want to move far as I don’t want DS changing schools as he is settled there and also his works is pretty much down the road so I wouldn’t want his commute to change that much. So I’ve tried to be fair but he still isn’t budging

OP posts:
Maves · 09/04/2021 09:25

Are they renting? Call the estate agent. If I'm honest I'd have shouted stfu long before now. The fact you e not said anything makes them think it's ok. No you shouldn't have to move but what if you do and get more shit neighbours? Probably worth trying g to deal with the problem first.

Sparkles556 · 09/04/2021 09:28

@Maves I do want to say something but they are the type of people that if I did I wouldn’t get a polite response. I think I need to grow some balls and pluck up the courage

OP posts:
User5747384 · 09/04/2021 09:30

I would move.

Maves · 09/04/2021 09:32

Are they renting?

Sparkles556 · 09/04/2021 09:33

@Maves yeah they are renting

OP posts:
Maves · 09/04/2021 09:40

Ring the estate agent honestly, are there any other neighbours that can back you up?

GladysTheGroovyMule · 09/04/2021 09:44

Absolutely move house as soon as you can. Not only is life too short to put up with shitty neighbours you have 2 small children including a tiny baby you’re exhausted already without adding those 2 dipshits next door into the mix.

NoSquirrels · 09/04/2021 09:47

If you’re renting, just get the ball moving looking for somewhere else to rent.

It’s literally one of the best upsides to renting.

Tell DH in no uncertain terms. If he’s laid back he’ll be happy anywhere, surely?

WeatherwaxLives · 09/04/2021 09:51

Ring their letting agent. I seem to remember there's something about if the Landlord is letting their house be used for selling drugs then they can be prosecuted as well as the tenants.
I know an ex colleague was in trouble when it was discovered his tenants were growing weed.

Sparkles556 · 09/04/2021 09:55

@Maves I think I’ll have to. And probably not as their house is the end one so no other neighbour on the other side. I’m not sure if the houses facing us have heard them but I suppose it’s worth a shot in asking.

@GladysTheGroovyMule yes you’re right. Absolutely exhausted and not a place I want to bring my two children up in anymore Sad

@NoSquirrels yeah good point. Think I’ll have to put my foot down with him

OP posts:
WeatherwaxLives · 09/04/2021 09:56

Sorry, I'm not suggesting you get their landlord prosecuted, just that they will have a vested interest in getting them out if they're dealing.

But the easiest and quickest thing would be for you to move.

Runnerduck34 · 09/04/2021 09:58

Move, it won't get any better unless they move out and in the summer they will be out in garden more so it will probably be worse.
You'd be very unlucky to have neighbours like them again.

ItsSnowJokes · 09/04/2021 09:59

If you are on the south coast it sounds like my old neighbours have moved next to you! We moved out and then they were evicted with bailiffs for anti social behaviour.

It is hell on earth and will just grind you down and your mental health will suffer. Move out ASAP.

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