That I want to move house but DP doesn’t

[Sparkles556]

This may be a long one. Next door neighbours moved in (a couple) around 2 months ago and ever since they’ve been here there’s been nothing but disruption. They have people round all the time drinking, which then leads to loud music, singing and just general noise. It goes on until the early hours (even on weekdays) Then there’s the arguing between them both. The other day they were having a screaming match at 1 in the morning. I genuinely think they were having a fight. There was very loud banging and I think he was smashing the room up. A couple of weeks ago I was in the bathroom and I could smell weed. I looked out of the window and they were both in the garden smoking it. Because they talk that loud, we can hear every word and we have since found out they sell it too which means they have people are knocking on their door or they will go out every half an hour I presume to sell it. Oh and they for some reason bang the front door very loud when they are coming in and out. Then there’s the sex they have every other day that usually happens anytime between 12-3 in the early hours. She screams like she’s a pornstar and sometimes I think the headboard is going to come through our walls. I have 2 DS’s. One being 4 and the other 5 weeks and have on numerous occasions woken them both up. Last night was the final straw for me. Baby had me up from 10-2 with no sleep in between. I think he has some kind of milk intolerance but last night it was really bad. If he wasn’t being sick, it was coming out the other end. I finally managed to get him to sleep just after 2. 5 minutes later, the shagging starts and wakes him up which then took another half an hour to get him to sleep again. Oh and I am completely dreading the summer and the BBQ’s they are apparently going to have. I am at my wits end. I really don’t want to sound a killjoy and I understand people can do what they want in their own homes but I think this is a joke. I would move tomorrow but DP wouldn’t as he “doesn’t think they are that bad” but he is very, very laid back and not much bothers him. I just don’t know what to do. There isn’t really any reason why we can’t move in my opinion. We are currently private renting so I don’t see why we can’t private rent somewhere else. I also know that there is no guarantee that if we do move, those neighbours will be the prefect neighbours but I genuinely don’t think it could get much worse.

I've been through this and it's absolutely awful. Move.

Contact your L/L, tell them how unhappy they are making your life and let them deal with it.

@Sparkles556 we have complainers on one side and next door to them we're a family who were occasionally loud, police out etc they complained to the letting agent and they got their notice. It's worth a try but lay it on thick and do try to get some back up. The estate agent won't want the hassle. And I'm sure the landlord wouldn't be to happy to know what's going on. Try the police as well it's annoomous.

Do they have neighbours the other side too? I’d be very tempted to collect evidence and then report them. If they have other neighbours then they won’t know who did it and it could have been from several people.

I don’t think it’s fair that you should move out of your home because of them and you might get even worse neighbours in the place you move to.

@ItsSnowJokes I’m in the north west but they must come from the same breed😂

@toocold54 no their house is the end one so no other neighbour on the other side. I think I’ll lay it on thick to the landlord that’s my only choice I think.

I’d write down everything and then report it to the landlord. You could ask that you want to remain anonymous for now but if it carries in you’ll be going to the police. If you’ve got the same landlord you could ask if they come to yours and so they can catch them smoking weed etc.
Someone I know had a noisy neighbour and was told to record them at night for proof. This was council housing though.

@toocold54 thank you I’ll try that!

We had new neighbours move in a couple of months before the first lockdown.
We had been in the house for 10 years and bar the odd bit of noise very occasionaly had never heard much from the 4 sets of neighbours that had rented that house in that time.
The new neighbours were so noisy, doors banging that you could here on the opposite side of our house, screaming and swrearing and shouting at midnight, car reving early morning, if they went out thier dogs barked and barked for hours, if they went out thier teens played really loud music etc etc. They got a hot tub in the garden so would be out drinking and shouting til late.
It really affected dH in particular, he was keeping a noise log etc as although we had spoken to them nicely a couple of times they didtn make any attempt to keep quiet.
Luckily MIL gifted us enough for a house deposit and so we have moved. Our new neighbours have a baby who is teething at the moment so occasionally we hear crying but its quiet andno where near as intrusive as our old neighbours!!

@BrieAndChilli it’s so frustrating isn’t it! The woman we had before was lovely. Never really heard a peep but unfortunately she passed away. There have been talks of my dad possibly being able to give us a deposit for a mortgage but it’s not set in stone yet. I don’t think they are going to change their ways anytime soon

I'd definitely go to the landlord if you have the contact details, or the agent if you know who it is, failing that, your agent. Tell them how bad it is, don't leave anything out!

Tell them if they're not moved on, you'll be leaving. If you've been good, trouble free tenants they will not want that

Also as someone else said, tell them you want to remain anonymous as you're scared of them, but will go to the police if action isn't taken.

Is there much else to rent locally?

I'd prefer to get them moved on as it's less disruption for you and you liked living there before they moved in, plus the cost of moving.

@WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants There’s a few available locally, admittedly I do look online everyday🙈 Yes ideally I’d love for them to move rather than me so I’m going to try and get in touch with the landlord and see what happens

Another vote to move. They sound like the neighbours from hell

Move.

I think your husband is being harsh, fair enough he is chilled out and it doesnt bother him, but it does bother you and in my opinion he should care about this. I wouldn't want to live somewhere that made my husband miserable, why does he want to stay living somewhere you hate?

Next time he tell you its not so bad, get him to resettle the kids when they've been woken up

@DrinkFeckArseBrick yes I agree. And good idea!

You need to make this Mr Laid Back's problem too.

Wake him every time there's an unsettled night. 'I need you to help with this... I'm just too tired to keep on doing it myself while you sleep.'

'No I'm not cooking for us this evening. Just too knackered with all the disturbances the last couple of nights. You slept through - you do it.'

Sex? Don't be silly. You're totally on edge in this house now, and also actually pretty resentful that he seems fine with a situation where you are unhappy...

Make it his problem too.

crimestoppers-uk.org/

You can report them Anonymously here

I would look at moving but also report them, you might still be stuck there for a few more months

I'd be out of there. You don't want neighbours like that when you have a young family.

I agree he has to feel it and then he will want to move. Or I would tell him that you and the children are moving with or without him. This will destroy your health and ruin any memories. But I'm so pleased you are renting. You can go!

Some people have no class. I doubt very much you would have neighbours like that again.

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay

Move or let partner take care of non-sleeping children

That.

I feel for you op. We lived for almost nine years in a house which I hated, in an area which I hated. Husband wanted to stay put until house prices rose/came down or whatever, I can't remember now. When we did eventually move it was 'the right time' and it was marvellous!

However if you are renting, you can look around and find somewhere else. Lay it on the line that you will go it alone if he doesn't agree to move (which I realise is easier said than done), put pressure on him and make it clear how unhappy you are. However, choose your new home carefully, there's no point in jumping out of the frying pan into the fire.

Is your neighbour's home rented? If they really are causing a nuisance it might be worth contacting the agents if you know who they are.

Tell your husband that he has to take over night times with the baby.

And contact your council about the noise also.

@jessstan2 it’s awful isn’t it. I feel awkward in my own home and I don’t know why Yes their house is rented too. I’m going to look into contacting their landlord or something like that because it’s starting to make me miserable now!

@JackieTheFart oh that would be bliss! Next time I can hear them in the stupid hours he will be getting woken up!

Sparkles: I feel awkward in my own home.
...
I felt like that in my previous home though in fairness my neighbours were not like yours. It was just the lack of privacy, I sometimes felt self conscious just going out of my front door and walking down the road. It was a gossipy sort of area where people who didn't even know you would know your name and things about you. I value my privacy and prefer being anonymous. It was worse after having a child and I was at home, not so bad when at work and I was glad to return to work part time to be in a different environment.

Moving house was bliss!

If I had your problems I think it would make me ill, frankly. It must be so depressing.

I really hope you can get away from all that - or your neighbours move. I'm not suggesting you go around asking but have you heard other neighbours being equally concerned? Such issues do not usually only affect people on one side of a house but the other side and sometimes the whole road.

You should at least seriously consider making a complaint. I had a similar thing a few years ago. Young lad moved in next door, constant stink of weed, noise as he had people in and out constantly because he was selling it. The police weren’t interested, but the council were. As a previous poster said, the landlord is responsible for ensuring this doesn’t happen too. It escalated to fights and property damage, but thankfully by that stage we’d made the complaints, kept the diary, etc., and he ended up being evicted by the LL not too long after.

Since you don’t own and therefore don’t need to consider disclosing issues when you sell, you have little to lose and a lot to gain. Such as not being the ones to move.

Although if Covid rules still mean tenants can’t be evicted, I admit this route is less useful since you’re relying on your neighbour seeing the error of their ways after a visit from the council.

And if you just want an end to it or feel intimidated then obviously you will need to leave. I don’t think your dp is being fair or realistic in expecting you to put up with this. Freedom to move on is the great upside of renting.

Awful! I hate scumbags like this. I'd move.