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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re what time 17 year old should be home?

55 replies

goldface · 08/04/2021 23:57

Would you expect a 17 year old lad to be home at a certain time? Not a party or anything, just literally hanging out at a park?

OP posts:
Happymum12345 · 08/04/2021 23:58

For my piece of mind, I would. At least a txt to say they’re ok.

Original poster
goldface · 08/04/2021 23:59

Would you set a time?

OP posts:
rainbowthoughts · 08/04/2021 23:59

A 17 year old hanging around a park?

GreyhoundG1rl · 09/04/2021 00:02

Why is he hanging round a park?

Original poster
goldface · 09/04/2021 00:02

Yeah a group of them has gone to a mates garden and then for chips and then to the park

OP posts:
snowdropsandcrocuses · 09/04/2021 00:03

I would want and hope they came home but the reality is I left home at 17 so the best you can do is set house rules but treat them like an adult

rainbowthoughts · 09/04/2021 00:04

At 17 mine didn't have curfews, they didn't hang about parks either.

AhmenGwendolyn · 09/04/2021 00:05

Long before now tbf, especially during a pandemic.

Is he staying in touch?

rainbowthoughts · 09/04/2021 00:06

The fact that you are asking this makes me think your 17 year old doesn't normally go out, which tbh is even odder than hanging round a park at that age.

sbhydrogen · 09/04/2021 00:07

At 17 I had a curfew of 11:30pm on a Friday and Saturday night, and 6:30pm on other days.

We used to hang out in parks in a big group all the time. My friends were friendly and very chilled. Although I would miss out on fun in the early hours, I'd also miss out on the scary people muggings them and causing occasional violence that would happen more around 1am. I'm happy I never got to witness that!

Fatladyslim · 09/04/2021 00:09

@rainbowthoughts

At 17 mine didn't have curfews, they didn't hang about parks either.
I'm guessing there wasn't a pandemic on at the time so there were more options of places to gather
Oldbeams · 09/04/2021 00:10

Holidays midnight (or later by negotiation and we know where they are).

Term time 10.30 pm. Early school start in normal times.

Wouldn't want them aimlessly hanging around a park as it leads to trouble imho. Bit of drug dealing in the countryside near us though.

sunlight81 · 09/04/2021 00:11

When ever they felt they should come home taking into consideration lockdown, the weather, commitments the next day and respect for others in the home they live.

A 17yo needs to learn to adult and if u wait until they are an adult, they won't have the hindsight experience brings!

Original poster
goldface · 09/04/2021 00:15

@rainbowthoughts he goes out lots of days/evenings but obviously they’ve only been able to go out again in small groups and only recently

@Fatladyslim yes. That’s the the thing isn’t it, they are so limited with where they can go and see their mates?

I said I wanted him home by midnight and he was outraged

OP posts:
rainbowthoughts · 09/04/2021 00:16

he goes out lots of days/evenings but obviously they’ve only been able to go out again in small groups and only recently

So when did he have to come home then?

Original poster
goldface · 09/04/2021 00:17

I said by midnight and he thought that was awful

OP posts:
surlycurly · 09/04/2021 00:20

I'm in Scotland and we weren't allowed in peoples gardens until recently so I'm not sure teenagers were supposed to go if they couldn't go to parks; everywhere is shut! Mine is 17 and she has to be home by 11pm. She has been later but only marginally, and I've not been happy about it. She does have to walk home herself quite often though and I don't like it one bit.

HunkyPunk · 09/04/2021 00:22

Agree with pp. The only place they can have 'gatherings' (are they still called that? Grin ) at the moment without annoying neighbours at this time of night is in a park. At 17, mine didn't really have 'curfews' if they didn't need a lift home. 12.30 was usually my limit for picking up (except in an emergency). However, they were generally good at telling me beforehand or texting me their plans - staying over, getting a lift from a friend etc. It's difficult to impose a curfew on someone who'll be an adult next Birthday.

Divineswirls · 09/04/2021 00:23

I wouldn't mind at that age so long as I'm kept in the loop to his movements and am not doing any driving to pick up

RubyFakeLips · 09/04/2021 00:28

No curfew at that age, but I wouldn't be picking up anytime past 11 p.m.

Sweettea1 · 09/04/2021 00:45

17 year old hanging around the streets all night i would think there up to no good. What's he doing in the park playing on the slide? At 17 I never had to be home at a certain time because I was either at friends/boyfriends not walking the streets.

DdraigGoch · 09/04/2021 00:46

Around here the teenagers (anything from 13 to 16 really) loiter around McDonald's or the railway station. Free WiFi, you see. They've been known to stick around until the small hours unless the police round them up.

Original poster
goldface · 09/04/2021 00:50

That’s the problem tho isn’t it? That they can’t be at their friends houses or boy/girlfriends houses?

OP posts:
rainbowthoughts · 09/04/2021 00:54

I'm in Scotland and we weren't allowed in peoples gardens until recently so I'm not sure teenagers were supposed to go if they couldn't go to parks; everywhere is shut!

One of mine alternates cycling with one friend and walking with another then an evening in.

The other meets his GF for long evening walks and see his friends in the daytime.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 09/04/2021 00:55

A 17 year old doesn't need a curfew unless he or she has proved themselves to not be trustworthy.

I would ask that they text if they won't be coming home before the morning though. No parent wants to wake up to not find their child there and no text explaining where they are.

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