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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Best bits of a wedding

140 replies

Teaplease29 · 08/04/2021 20:26

Posting here for traffic!
AIBU to want to know the best bests of everyone else's wedding? Or weddings you have attended?

Beginning to plan ours and want loads of great ideas and inspiration

Thank you!

OP posts:
TrevorWithTheWeather · 09/04/2021 00:54

I put on a cake table rather than a sweet cart. There was so much stuff, but went down that well that I didn't get one thing from it 😂

Zotter · 09/04/2021 01:04

@professionalnomad, your wedding looked ace!

Quaagars · 09/04/2021 01:29

I've been to loads of weddings (I'm in my 40s) and only ever been to one free bar.
Seriously, it's lovely (who'd say no lol?) but it's not the be all and end all.
The best ones I've been to are the ones with a traditional disco hired, buffet food (and I mean your classic stuff like sandwiches, pizza, sausage rolls, etc)
If I was all day guest and invited to reception too as well as night do as long as there's a veggie/vegan option alongside your usual meat dishes.
Awful to not have anything to choose from if you don't eat meat/fish

NiceGerbil · 09/04/2021 03:36

Getting married. I don't like being centre of attention nor does DH. And I wasn't ever someone who thought about/ planned it etc.

But. On the day in real life when we said the vows it felt like no one else was there and it felt really special and serious.

Also there were loads of kids there which was brilliant.

BlueBellsTwinkle · 09/04/2021 04:15

The worst, an hour and a half wait, while the bride and groom went off and had photographs. I was a bridesmaid, but we weren’t included in this.
Bored, standing waiting around outside, no drinks, nothing.
And the food, when they finally came back. All vegetarian and not great, long speeches.
Awful day and evening.
So none of the above.
The best ? Lovely wedding, no waiting, delicious food in a really pretty hotel room, so much nicer..

habibihabibi · 09/04/2021 04:27

Best one I went to was like a big family picnic.
Everyone was at picnic tables during vows which took minutes. Speeches directly after ceremony accompanied by plenty of fizz and canapes served on platters at tables. Cool band playing sweet love songs.
Dinner was steak and chips and salad. Kids table had pizza .
Icecream truck.
Little food trucks with different cocktails .
Band ramped up the tunes.
Everyone danced.

MyNameIsElizaDay · 09/04/2021 04:46

Short sharp speeches, free drink and lots of food available .

Ragwort · 09/04/2021 05:46

Keep the whole thing short and simple, ceremony, meal and go home Grin. I don't want to go to a dance ... in fact I don't think I've danced at any wedding I've attended. Endless tedious sitting around ..... I'm now at the age when I just politely decline wedding invitations.

BoomBoomsCousin · 09/04/2021 07:46

The best big weddings I've been to have all been on someone's land with a marquee or a barn or the like. Lots of string lights, a pig roast, a live band, free flowing drinks etc. and lots of people happy to see each other.

For the most part, the only meals that were truly memorable were ones in actual restaurants (I still think on a Chinese feast at a restaurant in Swiss Cottage over 25 years ago), but I've had good food in lots of different venues and it does make it a lot nicer than when the food is poor or badly served.

My cousin married his wife in a huge church with a fanfare of around 10 trumpets from above playing the bride in/couple out. It was absolutely incredible and way, way better than any other entrance/exit I've heard.

I only went to one wedding with young children. The couple provided a small box of goodies - colouring book, puzzle, a soft toy and a joke book I think - and it was a godsend and my kids still have the soft toys 6ish years later.

A friend had about 30(?) of us at a registry office in Liverpool that was a really lovely building and room and then a gathering at a garden they hired somewhere with Pimms and picnic like canapés. It only lasted a few hours but it was really civilized and, being small, intimate and very memorable. I did a lot more talking to people I didn't know before hand than I do at most weddings.

What hasn't been memorable:
I've been to lots of morning suits in Church then wedding breakfast and evening reception at a wedding venue type weddings and I've really enjoyed them but only because they've been an opportunity to see old friends/family. They're basically a reunion and could have been done in any number of ways without the excuse of a wedding and been just as good. They weren't memorable for the wedding, just because we got to dance and drink and spend time with friends. That's not nothing. Weddings are, IMO, primarily about strengthening social ties and these wedding venue places work well for that. And, obviously, I'm still really pleased my friends/family are getting married. But they seem quite manufactured, I spend almost no time with people I don't already know well and I am shocked when I hear the prices.

And, in case you are agonising over these things - I cannot remember a single wedding favour I have ever received. All the white wedding dresses look pretty much the same. I have no idea whether the bridesmaids were in identical dresses or complimentary dresses or anything else or how many there were or whether the colour matched the colour of the flowers or the ribbons on the chair. I can't remember what hymns we sang (but I remember a couple of weddings where the service seemed interminable).

sunflowertulip · 09/04/2021 19:38

I always love the actual marriage whether church or civil (prefer church for the singing!), especially when the service has friends and family involved with readings and music.

For the reception, plenty of food, booze, good band (personally love a barn dance or swing band!), table with people you know and funny speeches!

Lostinacloud · 09/04/2021 19:49

This may sound odd but we put those long squealing balloons on each table and it made the dinner and after dinner speeches really good fun and felt like it brought the whole room together in laughter as tables let them off at different times. One table of really good friends somehow blew them up incognito and then let off about 10 at the same time as my DH stood up to do his speech. It set the scene for a really cohesive evening where friends and family that hadn’t met before all got on really well.

Lostinacloud · 09/04/2021 19:50

The photographer loved the balloons too and says he recommends it to lots of other couples now Grin

professionalnomad · 09/04/2021 20:45

@Zotter

Thank you! It was genuinely one of the best days of our life.

ArtemisiaGentle · 09/04/2021 20:50

A really good band, plenty of booze and good food.

I despise receiving lines and long photo sessions. I also hate table plans, speeches, and most formality. I had a party, and people appreciated the lack of stuffiness.

Tianatiers · 09/04/2021 20:52

Absolutely agree with not too much waiting around, it's so boring for guests who don't know many people.

lillg · 09/04/2021 21:27

We had a venue with a small woodland on the site. We put some drinks in the woodland for people to have during the day. A LOT of our guests got up to no good in that woodland. Everyone was giggling about it afterwards thinking they were the only ones, but we got bored of hearing about it after a few months!

cluecu · 09/04/2021 21:33

One of my wedding guests told me a few months after that he really appreciated the fact that we'd hung up photographs of every guest around the reception room. It was only basic prints on string and cost very little but he thought it was nice to feel that every guest had been thought of in that sense and that it wasn't just all about the bride and groom. In a lot of our photos you can see the prints in the background which makes me smile again Smile

cluecu · 09/04/2021 21:36

To clarify they were photos that were on their Facebook or from collections and good photos of them, not headshots!

In terms of other best bits, I always enjoy the first drink after the ceremony and love it if it's informal. Not a fan of the greeting everyone in a line thing.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 09/04/2021 21:37

The food.

tigerbread20 · 09/04/2021 21:38

Humanist celebrant, made the ceremony truly ours.
Relaxed drinks and mingling without hundreds of group photos
Secret waiter, this still gets talked about. Only me and DH knew and it was bloody brilliant.

tigerbread20 · 09/04/2021 21:40

Oh and we had no speeches. I wouldn't change anything we did, except maybe a 3pm ceremony instead of 3 to have longer to enjoy the day

MadisonAvenue · 09/04/2021 22:05

The worst I’ve been to was the last one we went to, and that was due to the time spent waiting around. The ceremony was at 11am, then it was outside for photos and we didn’t actually get called in to eat until 4.30pm. No canapés or drinks were provided while we were waiting, not even tea or coffee, and we just had the use of a very expensive bar.

My favourite wedding was one where I didn’t know anyone except my husband. The groom was an old friend of his. The wedding was held in a beautiful country house, there were only around 30 people there and it was lovely. Ceremony, an hour for photos (with a very entertaining photographer who made it all fun), the meal and then an open bar in the afternoon until the evening reception started when more guests arrived.

therocinante · 09/04/2021 22:09

In my personal opinion...

  • Properly childfree (sorry)
  • Not in a stately home/hotel type place (sorry again!): interesting venues win
  • Not a long day: ceremony late afternoon almost immediately into food and dancing
  • LOTS of booze, quite a bit of it free
  • Personal (but not long) ceremony
  • Loads of places for people to go and sit and relax

So, for example: a friend's wedding in huge tipis in Scotland, firepits with hay bales everywhere to disperse and chat round the fire later (blankets too), free booze as far as the eye could see, no kids, ceremony at teatime (they did the registry in the day) and immediately a hog roast, pizza van, excellent music. Ceremony included the bride's stepdad reading a poem and a friend singing (not a dry eye in the house) but over relatively quickly.

Or, another good example - friends got married at town hall at 4pm. Everyone was sent to very cool city hotel/bar for free cocktail hour while they had photos, then a ridiculously good charcuterie/tapas-y/hot bowl food buffet type thing was served upstairs on the roof terrace. Chips were served at 11pm. If you'd told the bride & groom your hotel address beforehand (and were reasonably local to the venue), a vintage bus dropped you off on a big loop of the city and the bride and groom toured the city on the bus with everyone before they went back to the hotel. Best wedding I've ever been to.

therocinante · 09/04/2021 22:13

@professionalnomad

We had a very unconventional wedding by keeping it super personal and very informal. We just kept the bits we enjoy from weddings. It was written about [[https://offbeatbride.com/muticultural-fusion-wedding/ Here]]
Now that's a great wedding! And you look absolutely unreal 😍
Springingintospring · 09/04/2021 22:19

Best wedding I've been to had a substantial and yummy afternoon tea, then an outdoor ceilidh with chairs all around the edge for non dancers. Then fish and chips in the evening before disco.
Highly reccomend a live band for the dancing. A DJ never gets the crowd going the same way.
Worst ones have been the ones with weird timings, like ceremony at 12pm but no food until the three course dinner at 4pm, or long gaps between anything happening or waiting around for photos to finish, or drinks receptions with nowhere to sit, or only being invited for the beginning and end of day but not the meal in the middle.
I've never minded paying for drinks. People don't mind buying drinks as long as they're well fed so prioritise food throughout day rather than money behind bar.