Best bits of a wedding

[Teaplease29]

Posting here for traffic!
AIBU to want to know the best bests of everyone else's wedding? Or weddings you have attended?

Beginning to plan ours and want loads of great ideas and inspiration

Thank you!

Ugh not BLUE girls and boys BLUR! Bloody autocorrect

Speeches/toasts before the meal.
Garden games while family photos are done.
Good music.

One of the best ones I went to was in April in a marquee. It snowed. Heating broke. Everyone was huddled up in a much friendlier vibe than normal, just to keep warm, and loads more dancing than normal too. Very memorable in a good way.
Photography - can be a killer if it takes over. Get a really good reportage (fly-on-the-wall) photographer who stands back with a long lens and no one really notices them. Then a few weeks later you can relive the wedding all over again when you receive 100s of amazing, beautiful, natural photos of your friends and family having fun. In my view, wedding favours are a complete waste of money, as no one wants them - use that budget instead on the best photographer you can find.

I think a lot of issues are resolved by not having these bloody protracted weddings. These weddings that start at 11am in some far off venue so the guests who need to travel might have to stay the night before. Then the wedding ceremony which is actually quite short then waiting for lunch, more hanging round, then these evening do's.

I've recently been to some that started around 4pm instead, all one do, none of this A-list and B-list guests, cocktails and canapes and then dinner and some nibbles later on. All done by 11 or midnight. Much easier to manage.

Buffets can be tricky if you have inconsiderate guests who rock up first and pile plates. I've been ones where the guests came up and were served and seemed to work better to avoid greedy people who load up a plate or more and leave little to nothing for those at the back or vegetarians.

By far the worst weddings I've been to are the all fur coat and no knickers ones where it's all about the venue as a backdrop for the couples' big production and guests are just extras/props for the social media circus.

Speeches and toasts. Do people actually listen beyond, Congratulations, let's eat!? Or cringeworthy performances.

Relaxed ones without loads of photos and waiting around.

Went to one where we had three hours to kill between wedding and meal in a hotel in the middle of nowhere. Nearly everyone else was starting and went back to their rooms.

Ones with a relaxed and low key run up. One of my friends turned into such a Bridezilla that the whole experience was grim.

I agree, plenty of food and drink, not too much hanging around.

All of the ‘quirky’ weddings I’ve been to have been exactly the same- hog roast, magician, food van. I’d rather a traditional one!

The best weddings I've ever been to have had individual spaces for drinks, the ceremony, the meal and the reception. I can't abide all the fannying about as the ceremony room is then converted for the eating and then the evening reception. Hours of milling around, herded in a small waiting room before each part of the day is boring, disjointed and not in any way enjoyable.

LOTS of food. No hanging around, especially if you're unable to sit down. No travel between wedding and reception. Provide something to do if there is any waiting - outdoor games went down very well at several I've been to, like croquet. I love a ceildih.

I highly recommend focusing on quantity of food, not fanciness (once a basic level has been achieved). I went to a wedding where there was a catered BBQ - burgers, hot dogs, all the sides, loads of veg too. Brilliant! Also, if you're having a sit down catered meal, instruct the caterers to bring out all the "special" plates (allergies etc) FIRST and then the normal meals. Stops people with dietary requirements having to fend off/enquire about dubious plates of food repeatedly while wondering if they've been forgotten about.

Also, consider the volume of any amplification you use. Avoid music so loud you can't hear yourself think on the next room, and speeches so quiet everyone's wondering if they've started.

Speaking of speeches... If someone doesn't do any public speaking in their daily life, they're unlikely to suddenly knock it out of the park at the wedding. Mumblers and drivellers can keep it short and factual. Get your DH to give the best man some guidelines. I went to one where the entire best man's speech was about how everyone assumed the groom was gay until he proposed to the bride, and thank fuck he turned out not to be a poofter, right lads? It was excruciating on so many levels.

Wrt buffet and bar... Imagine every single guest at your wedding trying to get served at the same time, calculate how long it takes to serve each person, calculate how long the middle person and last person will have to wait.

I went to a wedding with an ice cream van to pass the time during photos. Sounds great, except there was ONE and over a hundred guests! You had to queue for over an hour!

Either have children there or don't, but accept that if you choose not to invite children, some parents won't be able to come, and don't then have a big huff about it.

Provide your guests with a timetable/plan for the day before they arrive. Let them know when to expect food, beverages, and to be called to attention. Don't just leave them hanging, wondering what's next!

The bit just before and then as the bride arrives.
The drinks reception.

Just relaxed, great party. I hate "formal" occasions.

Some drinks and canapés available while you go do photos so everyone doesn't go hungry, plenty of food available, live band I think tends to have a better atmosphere than a dj, personalising the day to you as a couple (I went to one wedding with a games room that had games like guitar hero and singstar to play, the couple liked to play video games so seemed pretty apt and entertained the younger guests!), if you get married on a cold or wet day don't make people be outside too much

Not too many photos. Been to several weddings where the photos take ages and it gets a bit boring for the guests. Went to one wedding and in the evening the wedding couple did a game called Mr and Mrs, it was good fun.

As pretty much everyone has said, no hanging about time. Freezing cold church in the middle of December that we were then penned into for 2hrs whilst photos were taken, with no food or drink - despite there being a pub over the road. But no, we had to stay in the church.

Then a 45 minute drive to a venue in the middle of nowhere for the reception. Lots of mingling. One thimble of cava. A decentish meal. But because it was in the middle of nowhere, at least half of the guests weren't drinking, and were looking at their watches throughout all of the speeches, working out the drive home. It was a lovely occasion for the B&G, but my memories of it are being hungry, cold, and very aware of ExP wanting to leave.

If you have a buffet-style meal, and even if you have servers, ALWAYS keep additional vegetarian/vegan/GF options back for those who actually are, as the omnis will trough them.

I say this as a sad veggie made bitter by too many buffet meals at which I've basically been left to eat bread.