To give debt collectors my relatives address?

[Famproblems1]

NC, I'll try to keep it short.

5 years ago I let a younger relative come and stay with me temporarily when she was leaving domestic violence in another part of the country, she stayed with me for approx 12 months before moving on into a place of her own with her small children.

During the course of that relationship alot of debt was accumulated before she left age 20..she says the majority of this was due to the partner taking out contract phones and payday loans using her details and that she had no control of her finances.

Despite the fact she doesn't live here anymore and hasn't for almost 4 years I'm still getting letters here addressed to her from debt collectors asking for money and to be honest I'm tired of it and want no part of it.

Obviously I've mentioned this to her a number of times and she claims she has contacted the companies and told them not to send anything else to my address as she doesn't live here. If that's true, which is debatable, then they clearly haven't listened.

I'm aware that she's paying a token sum to a couple of different companies on a monthly basis so she she says she's doing what she can but claims to be out of her depth and can only work part time. She has refused to give her address to these people citing that she's vulnerable with MH problems and has her disabled child there.

I received another letter through the door for her this morning after a peaceful couple of months, low and behold a debt collection company demanding £300 odd and I've reached the end of my rope.

We spoke over the phone which ended in something of a heated discussion because I said I'm going to give them her new address as I'm sick of the letters coming here and don't want debt collectors turning up here trying to take control of my property.

She then spoke to her mother who called me and implied I was being cruel.

So WIBU to do exactly that?

Used to work in collections. It won't go to trace until they know she's not there. Send the letters back. I'd not bother phoning if you don't want to give an address, because I know ours used to ask probing questions for address/phome number, can you contact them and tell them to call. The DCA will just be sending letters to what address they got from the parent companyand the field collector probaby just said 'not in'. When they get them back they'll run it through trace/electoral roll. Could she be registered with you?
Also, it won't affect your credit. It is attached to the person not home. Your cousin likely won't get a judgement, she does need to call them and explain what happened. A person on the phone will ask her how much she can afford and set up a plan. A quid will do. It'll just run for years.

I agree with crossing the address and put not known at this address and put back in post box. Stop opening the letters.

[quote TomorrowIsAnotherDae] To be completely honest I fail to see what MH problems or a disabled child has to do with any of it.

Then you are very lucky. There is a proven link between poor MH and debt. Your niece will probably find it all insurmountable based on the backstory (I know it is stressful for you to get the letters through your door too, I’m not minimising that)

Would you be willing to help her access some financial help within a timeframe of a few weeks? If she doesn’t engage then start giving her address to the debt collectors if that’s what you want to do?

Some agencies are:

Christians Against Poverty - capuk.org/
National Debtline - www.nationaldebtline.org/
Stepchange - www.stepchange.org/[/quote]

OP is stressed to the max with this.

kind as you have been..,

why would OP engage with agencies to solve her cousins problems. A cousin who doesn't give a damn about what OP is enduring? 🌸

Just write ‘return to sender, not known at this address’ on and stick them back in the post. They won’t send more. Less hassle than calling them.

The debt collectors can’t do anything, they can’t enter your home or try and take your property. Honestly just bin the letters. They’ll send them periodically but it’s not your problem. She doesn’t live there and the debts are nothing to do with you so can’t negatively impact you. Just bin everything as it arrives.

Fucktjis shit, why should this problem become the OPs. Give her new address and ignore.

I would have returned all mail to sender with “Not at this address” from the get go. It is there job to find her, you are not obliged to help.

They cannot take control of your belongings. They cannot get any money from you. Return the letters to sender with “not at this address” on the envelope. If they phone tell them she does not live there and the debt has nothing to do with you. They are not allowed to continue to phone once you have said that. Bailiffs cannot take property that does not belong to the specific person in debt, and if the person named does not live there you do not have to let them in. Stand your ground!

It is their problem to find your niece. They cannot legally touch you and you do not have to give them any information.

If you are really concerned, speak to Citizens’ Advice. www.citizensadvice.org.uk/debt-and-money/action-your-creditor-can-take/bailiffs/stopping-bailiffs/stopping-bailiffs-if-you-dont-owe-the-debt/

@GiveTheGirlAGun

Used to work in collections. It won't go to trace until they know she's not there. Send the letters back. I'd not bother phoning if you don't want to give an address, because I know ours used to ask probing questions for address/phome number, can you contact them and tell them to call. The DCA will just be sending letters to what address they got from the parent companyand the field collector probaby just said 'not in'. When they get them back they'll run it through trace/electoral roll. Could she be registered with you? Also, it won't affect your credit. It is attached to the person not home. Your cousin likely won't get a judgement, she does need to call them and explain what happened. A person on the phone will ask her how much she can afford and set up a plan. A quid will do. It'll just run for years.

All of this ^

It won’t affect your credit and you don’t need to engage with them at all. Don’t get stressed or panic.

@WisnaeMe, I’m not suggesting that the OP contact the agencies, just help / encourage her relative to contact them.

She left the boyfriend 5 years ago, moved out of my home 4 years ago and the letters still haven't stopped. If anybody can assure me that eventually they will and they won't come back to my door I'll consider not passing on the address but unfortunately, at the moment, I don't see any end to this.

I don't think it's the case that it will be written off in 2 years, not sure where that comes from? The letters have been coming here for more than 2 years.

Only one doorstep visit in that time but a fuck ton of letters.

I’m in a similar situation- I get debt collector letters and even a bailiff visit yesterday looking for my husband who moved out a year ago. It’s unbelievably stressful and very intimidating. I’ve told them he doesn’t live here anymore but they say that this is the address they have on record. He’s moved onto a boat so I can’t even give them a forwarding address. Seriously tempted to give them his parents address as he stays there sometimes. It’s really unfair for you to have to deal with this so you have my utmost sympathies and for what it is worth I think you should tell them her new address.

It’s against the law to open post addressed to someone else, return it to sender. It’s not your problem to sort out.

@hobbyiscodefordogging

Here's what you do...

You don't open the mail
You cross out the name and address
You write on it "Return to sender - not known at this address"
And then you stick it back in the post box

That way you are stopping it being your problem without being an arsehole to your niece.

Make sure that credit referencing agencies etc don't have the two of you linked through your address - there will be a process to go through for this but I don't know what it is.

Absolutely this^^

You should not be opening someone else’s mail, it’s illegal. As above, return to sender, end of.

Debt collectors get paid to track debtors down. Let them do just that.

Wash your hands of it.

Return.not known at this address or redirect them to your sister

@shouldistop

It’s not that simple, people lie to the debt collectors, they don’t give up that easily

From my experience it's easily sorted. We used to get letters, sheriffs officers, court summons for the previous owner. I just opened every letter, called the number and told them what date we had lived there from and that he hadn't lived here since at least then.

I did this too at a previous address. Most stopped, then when a bailiff turned up I was able to show the lease agreement and my ID, they were fine and left. None after that.

There's a fair gap between stopping the letters and directing them towards a family member with an abuse victim past, mental health problems and a disabled child.

It isn’t illegal to open someone else’s mail

@Mumoftwoinprimary

Could you give the debt collector her mother’s address. Then she can decide how heartless or otherwise it is....

That's a good idea.

We had this problem about 20 years ago with a previous tenant, debt collectors came to the door once we said no longer at this address, proved we lived there they were happy. Kept getting letters but we just kept returning to sender and eventually after about 3 years it stopped. Return letters to sender and don't get involved then it will eventually stop.

[quote TomorrowIsAnotherDae]@WisnaeMe, I’m not suggesting that the OP contact the agencies, just help / encourage her relative to contact them.[/quote]

aahh yes now I understand my apologies 🌸

Why are you opening letters not addressed to you?

It’s simple, you write no longer at the address or not known at this address and put the back in the post. Done. You should not be opening her mail.

I certainly wouldn’t be actively contacting them or giving her details. They will eventually stop sending them to your address if you return them unopened.

I’d be telling my sister to tell her daughter to sort her shit. You’ve gone from doing your niece and her mother a massive favour by supporting her and this is how they have paid you back.

OP. They won't come. I promise. They won't even send a field agent. That costs. It costs a DCA to send accounts to court action and those costs are not viable, especially now paying books are, er, paying less. Thr industry is heavily regulated and you could get in touch with the FSA.
Even if the DCA buys the debt from the parent company, unless its a mortgage they won't sue, they sound low value (to them) debts. Forget it now. The letters are designed to be scary.

She's an adult. She can sort out her own problems. Either that or give them her mother's address, if she's so eager to help!

This could cause you serious issues in the future - share her address and I hope that the debt companies leave you alone. Good luck.

@ComDummings

It isn’t illegal to open someone else’s mail

Postal act 2000 yes it is!!!