AIBU to ask how not to feel totally out of place?

[Lifesagreatbalancingact]

Hello!

Been invited to a posh party in the summer (think printed invitations on card so thick you could wedge a door open with it).

It’s at the childhood home of a university friend who I love but who is the personification of what I imagine the royals are like. I’ve never met her parents (the invite implies her mother is the host - it says ‘Mrs XXX...). There will be other people I know there.

It’s black tie - this just means nice dress yes? What do I take? For rsvp, there’s an address - am I meant to send my acceptance via post?

I suppose the Aibu is ‘aibu to think I’ll feel totally out of place and how do I counter this?’

Guildford Gal:

OP, if you want to feel comfortable in a fitting-in sense (I'm being guided by your thread title here), wear a formal but simple-ish dress, not short, dark in colour, not too tight and not revealing cleavage/slashed to the thigh. Not acres of spangles (although some do a little sparkle). No ball gowns. No one cares about arms btw, so sleeve or no sleeve, up to you.
.......
Sounds perfect!

@sanfranfibber

Who goes to a black tie party with homemade dog treats?! No gift OP, a thank you after.

And what the fuck is ‘slow gin’?! 🤣🤣🤣

Its a party hosted by a friend's parents, not a "who has memorised Debretts the best" sneer-fest. I think Guildford Gal gives the best advice. Go, have a lovely time, and enjoy doing something thats a little out of your ordinary. I bet you have a great time.

NB I apologise for the autocorrect of Sloe to Slow.

Agree with @GuildfordGal.
The only thing I would add is that a well fitted dress is more important than the style or fabric. A £10 dress from Primark that fits you is more 'correct' than £2k worth of silk that pulls or gapes where it shouldn't.

If they are genuinely 'posh' they have invited you because they want your presence, not so they can judge your ability to adhere to the formalities, your wardrobe budget or personal style. And they will also view it as their responsibility to put you at ease, not the other way around.

Also cringing at the pretentious tosh being advised by those supposedly in the know.

To me it sounds like it’s just going to be a big post Covid restrictions party, given that you have never met them and know others that are going.

I think the drink will be plentiful and they will be making up for any socialising they have missed out on.

An update for all you lovely people - I’ve rsvped and my cousin has lent me a beautiful dress that she wore to something pre pandemic. I’m most excited now