Snoring is damaging our relationship

[Flowers24]

I'm the snorer, I have no idea when I am doing it and last night for example thought I was fine ..however I kept dh awake again, all night. He even recorded it this time so I could hear it, is sooo loud. Ive tried propping myself up, used nasal strips last night, tried sprays but i dont know what else to do. He is talking of seperate rooms soon as cant cope much longer. I am not overweight , i have a glass of wine most evenings but even if i have no wine I snore.
Getting me down too as i a unaware of it and sleep very deeply.

Anyone got any advice????

He needs earplugs or something and you really need to see your GP to see if there’s an underlying reason. I feel for you both, especially your DH.

Do you habitually mouth breathe? Breathe through your nose all day if you can. Many have success with taping the mouth at night although it will take a week or so to get used to it. Read the book Breath by James Nestor, it’s excellent on this topic.

Thanks, he has used ear plugs for years. Yes always sleep with mouth wide open, dont want to but cant seem to breathe through my nose? I am practising today though,

I have the sellotape out to tape my mouth tonight , im desperate,

@Flowers24 I also snore! DH snores too but I can sleep through his but he is unable to sleep through mine. Luckily I don't snore every night but when I go through a snoring phase DH sleeps on the sofa. I quite like starfishing on my back and snoring to my hearts content when he's sofa sleeping, but I do understand how rubbish it makes you feel to know DH is unable to sleep with you!

I'm going on the sofa tonight.... feel awful

Alcohol is a muscle relaxant. It might well be having an effect on the tissues in the back of your mouth etc.

Is there an option for you to give up the daily wine intake for five-seven days or so and see what effect that has?

If you're not prepared to do that then you might need to go round the houses to find the real answer instead.

Is separate rooms really that bad of an idea? If he is getting no sleep surely that's more damaging to your relationship?

I'm in the same situation and the lack of sleep is a total killer.

Sadly DH went to the GP and they just have him blood tests and sent him on his way. I'd still recommend trying to get an appointment though, at least if you're trying to do something about it your DH will see that you care.

You’ve got two threads running btw

Go to your GP, you may have sleep apnea too. Get tested by the ‘sleep clinic’ (it’s done, by you, at home - they just tell you how to measure) and get a CPAP machine (if apnea). I probably would have divorced DH if he hadn’t have got his snoring sorted out. The lack of sleep was more than I could cope with.

My ex was a snorer I put up with it for years. I would sleep in another room until the situation was resolved.

Alcohol is a big cause of snoring and if you've been drinking every night for a while, then stopping for one night won't make much difference.

Try a fortnight - no alcohol for 3h before bed.

I agree with those who say, is separate rooms really that bad?

I wish I’d done that with exh in retrospect as his snoring was so bad.

My DH snores, we went the whole sleep clinic route but essentially nothing came of it

When it’s really bad (Colds, alcohol, allergies) he sleeps in the spare room as it gets too much being sleep deprived

The only thing that has really worked is him sleeping on his side with multiple firmer pillows, the memory foam ones

You already have the solution - separate rooms.

I'm afraid separate rooms or sofas is the only way that works.

Snoring caused me massive issues with xp. He knew alcohol etc made it worse but still drank. Didn't bother seeing a dr or anything. It's his body akd his choice and I respected that and wouldn't have forced him to do anything. But given the choice he chose the sofa and not me so......

Some nights he was so loud it kept me a wake tbrough the floor.

I ended it. Not cos of the snoring. But I do sleep better now which is great ..

Seperate rooms are a lifesaver - I'm the snorer too and my poor DH shouldn't suffer cos of it. We share in our bedroom about 2 nights a week (usually when he falls asleep first, so I don't keep him awake) and the others one of us goes in the spare room. Whoever's in the spare room makes a brew in the morning and takes it to our bedroom and then we drink them in bed together and wake up, it's nice. We both sleep better now, too.

Snorer here too also using separate room!! We have a motorhome tho so if we are away and having to sleep in close proximity I use a mouth guard - bought on Ideal Home a couple of years ago - it's not the most comfortable thing but fine for wearing now & again to keep the peace (literally)!!

Could you have nasal polyps?

I think separate rooms.

Me and DP have separate rooms to sleep in. That way neither of us have the faff of using earplugs, snore guards etc.

Use a small piece of surgical tape not sellotape. Not across the whole of your mouth either, just a rectangle in the middle. The description Nestor uses is like a hitler moustache but lower, over your lips. Be prepared to wake up / rip it off in your sleep for the first few nights, but persist and it will work. Set good habits in the daytime too: nose breathing begets nose breathing. It’s so much better for your health long term too.

I see PP mentioned nasal polyps, my ex was actually eventually diagnosed with those (his snoring was the worst I've ever heard, could hear it through walls and on different floors and it went on all night long, it was next to impossible for us to go on holiday and sleeping in the same bed at home was completely out of the question) and he was told he would need an operation to remove them but that it wasn't available on the NHS anymore or something? We were in our early 20s at the time so I may be misremembering slightly Nothing was done for him anyway. He had also tried every spray and strip going but they made no difference due to the polyps.

We broke up for other reasons eventually but it is nice not having to dread trying to sleep nowadays. I would try speaking to your GP in case there is an underlying cause, but even in the worst case scenario separate beds is better than the resentment and irritation that arises from terrible broken sleep. Good luck, it's a crap situation on both sides

Separate rooms is the answer for us. Husband has sleep apnoea and he uses a CPAP machine. However, this is loud in itself whooshing in my ear all night and if he opens his mouth actually blowing on my face. Impossible to sleep through that. Separate rooms is bliss.

Agree with others re seeing your GP. It’s also worth looking at a snoreguard (I think that is the brand name - it’s like a mouth guard you might wear for rugby). It is the only thing that has worked with my DH - he has literally tried everything else. He actually now has one that the dentist fitted for him - it looks like a plate brace. I guess as dentists diversify to make more money, yours might offer something similar?

I'm a snorer too, as is DH - but I can sleep through his, he can't through mine

We now have separate rooms, always start in one watching tv etc , then he usually moves once I've fallen asleep. He's not generally a good sleeper anyway so it's not unusual for him to be up wandering around. Separate rooms have definitely helped!

Yes yes to mouth guards my DH got one from amazon which literally worked overnight but has moved his jaw slightly and so he’s now had another much more expensive one from the dentist. The new one isn’t designed to stop snoring - I think the original one brought his jaw forward? But it seems to be working most of the time and isn’t going to move his mouth out of place like the first one seemed to.

I’d recommend stopping drinking entirely. Do you smoke?

Also, see a doctor. If you’re not overweight then you may have an apnea. Though I can’t say that CPAP machines are much better ambient noise than snoring, but at least you’d be healthier. Are you tired in the morning?