Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Snoring is damaging our relationship

77 replies

Flowers24 · 07/04/2021 08:58

I'm the snorer, I have no idea when I am doing it and last night for example thought I was fine ..however I kept dh awake again, all night. He even recorded it this time so I could hear it, is sooo loud. Ive tried propping myself up, used nasal strips last night, tried sprays but i dont know what else to do. He is talking of seperate rooms soon as cant cope much longer. I am not overweight , i have a glass of wine most evenings but even if i have no wine I snore.
Getting me down too as i a unaware of it and sleep very deeply.

Anyone got any advice????

OP posts:
Warrickdaviesasplates · 07/04/2021 18:05

Definitely try and pack in the alcohol.

I can tell I'll he difference in Dhs snoring if he has just one beer and that's not a regular habit for him.

Acrasia · 07/04/2021 18:14

Do you consume much dairy? A friend’s husband gave up dairy for a while and stopped snoring, as soon as he reintroduced it he started again.

TristantheTyrannosaurus · 07/04/2021 18:18

For now, get a sofa with a fold out bed. Find a place with a spare bedroom. I love having my own room.

FinallyFluid · 07/04/2021 18:31

DH is a dreadful snorer.

Our house is over 75 years old and solid, he sleeps in the spare room and I can still hear him through the walls and with the doors closed.

Spare room was a marriage saver.

dementedpixie · 07/04/2021 18:34

My dh was a snorer and after a sleep test was found to have sleep apnoea. He now has a CPAP machine and the snoring has stopped

EasterEggBelly · 07/04/2021 18:43

God my DH’s snoring after red wine Sad
Fortunately it’s not often or else I’d be in the spare room too.

Losing a stone and having more alcohol free nights should help. Wouldn’t recommend self-taping your mouth....

Original poster
Flowers24 · 07/04/2021 18:48

Thanks, I wont give up my wine as its the one thing I look forward to, i will have some wine free evenings though

OP posts:
mrsbyers · 07/04/2021 21:56

Separate rooms here , my husband actually had surgery to try and sort his snoring but it didn’t work so opted for this and we both love it - he lies in bed for a while watching top gear or similar while I prefer to read in bed. We also get up at vastly different times and I sometimes need to attend to medical stuff overnight - separate bedrooms is something here to stay

CreamFirstThenJamOnTop · 07/04/2021 22:01

Speak to your GP.

I’m the snorer one our house, used to drive DH insane. My weight etc never affected it and I’ve always snores.

Got diagnosed with sleep apnoea and wear a cpap every night now.... no more snoring 😊 the machine is really quiet and we both get a good nights sleep now.

Ginuwine · 08/04/2021 11:32

@Flowers24

Thanks, I wont give up my wine as its the one thing I look forward to, i will have some wine free evenings though

I wasn't asking you to give up wine altogether. But medically it will be impossible to tell if wine is the affecting thing if you don't do an elimination test of some kind and give it up for five days or so to see.

If you value the wine so much that you don't want to know the answer? Then that's another thing entirely.

pretentiousrubberduck · 08/04/2021 12:02

You obviously can't be feeling too guilty about it, or you would at least try and cut alcohol out for a couple of weeks and see if it makes a difference Hmm
Your poor husband, let's hope taping up your mouth and losing weight makes a difference

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 09/04/2021 00:13

@HoldontoOneMoreDay

DH is waiting for a CPAP machine, I'm a bit upset to see so many people saying it's noisy.

Losing weight will help, as will stopping drinking. DH uses mouth guards from Amazon which help too.

Don't be upset, I have a CPAP, it's really quiet, my husband was worried about it being noisy as he's a light sleeper. It doesn't disturb him at all- I no longer snore, and the machine just makes a quiet sound in time to my breathing. Quite soothing, he says!
Original poster
Flowers24 · 09/04/2021 18:01

Thanks, dont drink much, had tea last night! My life is incredibly stressful right now so 'me time' with a glass of wine and tv is what i need. I have started the losing weight plan and on the sofa atm x

OP posts:
lockdownalli · 09/04/2021 18:42

As you don't have a spare room, sofa is the only option for now.

I agree with PP that giving up booze will probably help, but if you won't do that I guess you are stuck on the sofa.

Long term, could you afford a home with a spare bedroom? It's the only option for many couples.

Yogalola · 09/04/2021 18:48

Maybe agree to separate sleeping arrangements if you are keeping your other half awake. Nothing worse than losing sleep due to snoring, that in itself can wreck a relationship. Start off in one bedroom and agree one of you moves in the night if necessary and maybe start the day with a morning cuddle ...

sunflowersandbuttercups · 09/04/2021 19:13

I understand you like a glass of wine but if it's really impacting your DH's sleep, surely you could at least try without it for a week or two?

catsandchaos · 09/04/2021 19:20

Amazon sell Somnifix. That's what I use, very comfortable

JSL52 · 09/04/2021 19:58

@Flowers24

Does seperate rooms affect sex life though?!!
No
therocinante · 09/04/2021 20:00

@Flowers24

Does seperate rooms affect sex life though?!!
Nope. But then we're not 'sex in bed before lights out' types!
Thespaceabove · 09/04/2021 20:10

DH and I now have separate rooms. It's great tbh! We still have cuddles before bed and sex whenever we feel like it. Also DH makes tea in the morning and brings it into my bed to drink and chat. It's just the middle sleeping and snoring bit we do alone. Works perfectly for us.

Honestly if you have the room, why not?

WellTidy · 09/04/2021 20:12

My dad snores horrendously and has done for 60 years. Nothing that can be done medically for him, as deep sleep is a side effect of medication, and he needs that to survive.

But the effect on my mum has been awful. I swear her personality has changed permanently due to chronic sleep deprivation.

The difference as I see it is that my dad has taken all other steps to try and reduce the snoring. He has seen a GP, stopped smoking 40 years ago, and doesn’t drink.

I can’t imagine a situation where he would choose to drink, much as he would like a drink or two (as drinking can indeed make snoring worse, and you may find this if you were willing to give up for a couple of weeks at least) and she would be willing to accept the situation, if there was something that could be done that might make things better for them both.

KitBiscuit · 09/04/2021 20:21

Earplugs have really worked for me blocking out DHs snoring, and for a truly undisturbed night sleep, one of us will take the spare room. (Meaning me, when I absolutely can not fall asleep. And then I'll stay there for a few night as I'm always reminded that nothing beats having the entire bed to myself LOL!) Neither of us have any issues with it before anyone starts going on about what a bad habit that is.

HairyPits · 09/04/2021 20:27

Separate rooms works for us. I was horrified when DP suggested it, but it works well.

He snores, likes a very dark room, fidgets and goes to bed earlier.
I like to read, have the curtains and window open and I go later.
We visit each other’s rooms (me less so, as his room can be ‘farty’).

Original poster
Flowers24 · 10/04/2021 10:53

Ear plugs dont help apparently ! I am amazed the amount of people in seperate rooms, must be more normal than I thought xx

OP posts:
gamerchick · 10/04/2021 12:50

Saved many a relationship.

The sharing bed thing is outdated. It was brought into being by those in poverty as a necessity and to keep warm to bed share.

Sleep is king. Nothing runs right on a lack of sleep for anybody.

Swipe left for the next trending thread