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Original poster

Snoring is damaging our relationship

77 replies

Flowers24 · 07/04/2021 08:58

I'm the snorer, I have no idea when I am doing it and last night for example thought I was fine ..however I kept dh awake again, all night. He even recorded it this time so I could hear it, is sooo loud. Ive tried propping myself up, used nasal strips last night, tried sprays but i dont know what else to do. He is talking of seperate rooms soon as cant cope much longer. I am not overweight , i have a glass of wine most evenings but even if i have no wine I snore.
Getting me down too as i a unaware of it and sleep very deeply.

Anyone got any advice????

OP posts:
TerrifiedandWorried · 07/04/2021 11:28

My husband has a cpap machine, it's incredibly quiet and much less disturbing than the snoring.

RoseyMinerals · 07/04/2021 11:33

Another tried and tested vote for separate rooms

amusedbush · 07/04/2021 11:58

DH and I have our own bedrooms. He was a bit offended when I first suggested it but after just two nights sleeping separately he was a total convert.

I am a crap sleeper. My preferred sleep cycle is 2am - 10am but I force myself to go to bed earlier and I wake frequently, stirring at the smallest noise. DH snores intermittently (there’s no pattern to the nights he does it), talks, steals the blanket no matter how big it is, and kicks/elbows me.

Now I sleep much better and he says he’s more relaxed because he can just do his thing without lying there on edge in case he’s disturbing me. I also need white noise to get to sleep so it means I can play that all night without bothering him.

gamerchick · 07/04/2021 12:03

Ask to be referred to a sleep clinic. In the meantime, there's nothing wrong with seperate bedrooms. I love my room even though husband has a cpap now.

Original poster
Flowers24 · 07/04/2021 13:36

Thanks, we dont have a spare bedroom btw so i will sleep on the sofa downstairs tonight anyway as dh is extremely sleep deprived.

Ive tried no wine and still snore, doesnt seem to make a difference ! I have wine to relax as i have a stressful time atm, but will try and have it earlier in the evening.

Was going to use sellotape but saw a mouth tape on Amazon, might try it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Flowers24 · 07/04/2021 13:37

Does seperate rooms affect sex life though?!!

OP posts:
PriestessofPing · 07/04/2021 13:42

Have you seen a doctor for this? Do you plan to?

Original poster
Flowers24 · 07/04/2021 13:43

I dont smoke and dont want to give up wine, its my relaxation. Haven't been to a doctor as its not every night?

OP posts:
Oneweekleft · 07/04/2021 13:44

Ive been in separate rooms from my dh since my youngest was born. Hes 2.5 now and still co sleeps. I really dont fancy sharing a bed with anyone else now again even when toddler will move to his own room. I just love having downtime on my own at night. Some couples do sleep in separate rooms permanently and it doesnt effect their relationship. I think actually its unrealistic to expect people to share a bed comfortably. You can still have time in bed together but sleeping in separate rooms can be bliss!

Original poster
Flowers24 · 07/04/2021 13:45

Just need a spare bedroom though!!

OP posts:
Warrickdaviesasplates · 07/04/2021 13:45

@Flowers24

Does seperate rooms affect sex life though?!!
It affects it a lot less than being constantly exhausted due to being kept awake all night by a partners snoring.

Just have sex on the sofa? That's what dh and I do when DS is in our bed (then DH sleeps in DS bed as we also don't have spare rooms)

Original poster
Flowers24 · 07/04/2021 14:32

Well i did a few checks and apparently i am overweight , i admit i dont leave my desk working at home so very inactive, im out of breath running up the stairs. Going to aim to lose a stone and start my daily walks, i do nothing atm.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 07/04/2021 14:32

@Flowers24

Does seperate rooms affect sex life though?!!
No. Do people only have sex at night with the lights off?

Not getting enough sleep because of your partner can affect it though.

SatsumasOrClementines · 07/04/2021 14:39

Ive tried no wine and still snore
But have you tried it for long enough? If you drink regularly then you’ll need to stop for around two weeks for there to be a difference.

I dont smoke and dont want to give up wine, its my relaxation.
Slightly concerning that you’re leaning on alcohol for relaxation.

LactoseTheIntolerant · 07/04/2021 14:48

My dh used to be a terrible snorer I remember feeling so pissed off with the lack of sleep, and I wear ear plugs every night. He gave up booze 2 years ago and it has made soooo much difference, I still wear ear plugs. When he snores these days it's not the loud foghorn snoring that he used to do after a beer and with my ear plugs in it doesn't wake me up. It also had the added benefit that he lost weight which also helps with snoring.

Original poster
Flowers24 · 07/04/2021 14:51

Thanks, i enjoy my glass a night too much!! I am going to try and get active though and lose a stone x

OP posts:
Love51 · 07/04/2021 14:51

I snored. The GP was able to refer me to the hospital who made me a mouth guard. I don't use it every night but DH sometimes gives me a nudge if I'm waking him and I put it in.

katy1213 · 07/04/2021 14:55

Separate rooms are bliss for any number of reasons.

ButIcantsitonleather · 07/04/2021 14:56

So in fact you are overweight and drink every night? That might be contributing, OP. How much do you drink?

HoldontoOneMoreDay · 07/04/2021 14:56

DH is waiting for a CPAP machine, I'm a bit upset to see so many people saying it's noisy.

Losing weight will help, as will stopping drinking. DH uses mouth guards from Amazon which help too.

SatsumasOrClementines · 07/04/2021 14:59

Losing weight is a great idea. I bet that will help so much and you’ll also generally feel a lot better for it.

But realistically what are you going to do in the meantime? Just continue sleeping on the sofa while you wait for the weight to come off?

If you lose 1-2 pounds a week then it’s going to take you 7 - 14 weeks (1&1/2 - 3+months) to lose a stone. That’s a loooonnngggg time to sleep on the sofa.

I’d choose giving up wine for a week or two and getting back into my comfy bed ASAP over sleeping on the sofa for a quarter of a year of it was me.

PriestessofPing · 07/04/2021 15:03

Definitely see the GP. It doesn’t matter if it’s not every night- you’ve said your husband can’t cope much longer so this has clearly been going on some time. Honestly, if you were my partner and had been snoring to this extent yet not sought any medical help for it i’d be really annoyed.

littlewhitestar · 07/04/2021 15:12

Do you sleep on your back? That will exacerbate the snoring. You can get positional devices that will prompt you to turn over in your sleep or act as a barrier to stop you moving on to your back eg special pillows.

You can also get chin slings if you are mouth breathing. If you want to try the mouth guards that PPs recommended, I would try an adjustable one as you need to find the advancement position that works for you. You may find that your jaw aches until you get used to it. If it helps, you might want to invest in a custom device as they are more comfortable.

Do you wake in the night, have morning headaches, wake up feeling unrefreshed, feel drowsy during the day or have trouble concentrating? PPs advice to speak to your GP about sleep apnoea is good advice.

Original poster
Flowers24 · 07/04/2021 15:13

Never wake in the night , sleep deeply and dont have headaches.

I drink 1 glass of wine a night in the week and 2-3 over the weekend

OP posts:
Love51 · 07/04/2021 18:01

Try your gp. Everything else is just faffing.