DP and I are currently househunting. We agree that we need another bedroom and extra living space. DP is not too fussed on the area, he’s pretty much in and out for work. I work from home and have a primary aged DC and just tend to do more in the local community.
We have a couple of properties we were thinking of putting offers on. One has more space than anywhere we have looked but is in an area I don’t particularly like. It is in a close just off an A road and the area feels a bit bleak. Lots of bungalows on the A road and then the kind of shops I wouldn’t use - builders merchant, tyre shop. Because it’s in a close, you would have to walk along the A road to get anywhere.
We had a discussion last night and DP would be up for getting and living in this house. I said I didn’t think I could do it, I just don’t like the feel of the location. I thought we were having a fair discussion - talking about what we thought and acknowledging we disagreed. He was a bit frustrated because he and the kids all like said house. Then we went to bed and he didn’t touch me all night. I asked what is the matter? Silence. He left for work before I woke up this morning.
This morning I have looked at the location of the house again and realised it is not very far (down the main road) to a library, a park, a good school. I am warming to it. But also I am angry with DP. I feel like I am buying a house with a sulky 6 year-old. And I would NEVER reward a 6 year olds sulk by giving them what they want.
DP does have form for silent treatment after and argument. He knows it annoys me and actually I thought we were getting past it and communicating better recently. Weird that we didn’t even have an argument last night. I feel like her is trying to punish me for having an opinion or manipulate me into changing my mind.
YABU - see the bigger picture, get the house if you now like it. Sulky DP is a separate issue.
YANBU - don’t let a bit of sulking change your mind, you won’t be happy there long term if you feel like you have been persuaded into it.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
To not buy the house or am I cutting off my nose to spite my face?
61 replies
drivingmisspotty · 06/04/2021 09:12
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
billy1966 ·
06/04/2021 19:38
OP,
Is he your DH or DP?
You refer to him as a DP.
Is your child his?
If not, I would not be buying a house with a controlling man that sulks when you express an opinion.
Why would you do that?
I agree with @YoniAndGuy, but I would be thinking good and hard about what sort of life you want for your child and yourself.
Getting financially entwined with a controlling, abusive man is really bad move.
littlebillie ·
06/04/2021 23:31
@billy1966
OP,
Is he your DH or DP?
You refer to him as a DP.
Is your child his?
If not, I would not be buying a house with a controlling man that sulks when you express an opinion.
Why would you do that?
I agree with *@YoniAndGuy*, but I would be thinking good and hard about what sort of life you want for your child and yourself.
Getting financially entwined with a controlling, abusive man is really bad move.
Is he your DH or DP?
You refer to him as a DP.
Is your child his?
If not, I would not be buying a house with a controlling man that sulks when you express an opinion.
Why would you do that?
I agree with *@YoniAndGuy*, but I would be thinking good and hard about what sort of life you want for your child and yourself.
Getting financially entwined with a controlling, abusive man is really bad move.
Seriously they disagreed and he was sulky. You need to grow up and think about what you wrote there it's not helpful or kind.
All relationships are under pressure at the moment and buying a house is a massive decision.
OP it's okay for you and your DP to be grumpy about the house purchase it's a really stressful decision. I'm sure you'll get there in the end.
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.