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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Threads appearing on the DM

68 replies

Painauchocolat189 · 06/04/2021 09:10

Has anybody on here had the (mis)fortune of one of their threads making it to the Daily Mail? Mine was published on there a fortnight ago, it was an AIBU regarding a situation with a friend.
Got a right shock when i clicked on the DM and there it was. Was scared the friend in question would read it and that I'd be outed but doesn't seem to have fortunately.
Has this happened to anyone else? How would you feel if it did?

OP posts:

Original poster

Painauchocolat189 · 06/04/2021 09:12

Actually vowed never to post on MN again after it happened yet here I am!

OP posts:

Wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 06/04/2021 09:14

I've never had it happen to me but I always feel for the posters concerned.

gamerchick · 06/04/2021 09:14

I don't do threads so no. It's a regular reminder that we aren't the customers, we're the product and you have to be careful about what you post on a very public board visited by the press.

Sorry to hear you had a tense time of it though.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 06/04/2021 09:15

This happens pretty much every day with various online media outlets and has done for years from popular forums. I'm not clear from your OP if you weren't aware of the risks of posting.

I think the best thing to do is to get the thread deleted asap if you don't want anyone IRL recognising the situation.

Original poster

Painauchocolat189 · 06/04/2021 09:17

I suppose I was naïve in my thinking.

Whenever I've requested to have threads deleted previously, they won't delete them outright but will move them to 30 days only if I remember well?

OP posts:

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 06/04/2021 09:22

@Painauchocolat189

I suppose I was naïve in my thinking.

Whenever I've requested to have threads deleted previously, they won't delete them outright but will move them to 30 days only if I remember well?

Do you mean when previous threads have been in the paper? I'm very surprised they wouldn t delete for that.

FuckyouCovid21 · 06/04/2021 09:24

@Painauchocolat189

I suppose I was naïve in my thinking.

Whenever I've requested to have threads deleted previously, they won't delete them outright but will move them to 30 days only if I remember well?

Hmm, not sure that's true actually. I had a thread on here once which I asked to be removed and it was deleted almost straight away

Original poster

Painauchocolat189 · 06/04/2021 09:24

No just threads that I've previously posted that I wanted deleting for other reasons. It's made me think twice though about what I'm posting.

OP posts:

DrSbaitso · 06/04/2021 09:26

If you post something on here, it's in the public domain and the papers can pick it up like any other publicly available information.

Obviously it's not exactly great journalism, but it's their right and there isn't really anything you can do about it except not post or try to hide your identity as much as possible. It isn't really any different to sharing the story on social media. It's out there, it's public. And as crapbl as it may look, it does presumably drive traffic or else the tabloids wouldn't do it.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 06/04/2021 09:27

@Painauchocolat189

No just threads that I've previously posted that I wanted deleting for other reasons. It's made me think twice though about what I'm posting.

Your problem if that's the right word is not realising that this is a forum where deletion of threads isn't really part of the culture

If you've asked multiple times you need to re-think your thread starting policy

Sparklingbrook · 06/04/2021 09:27

Threads I have commented on have ended up in the DM. That's why posters should be wary. Don't post anything on here that you wouldn't mind ending up in the media, it's not a secret private space.

JustJustWhy · 06/04/2021 09:29

Nope. I don't worry. If it's potentially a contentious thread just put a disclaimer in the opening post saying "Fuck the Daily Mail et al for their lazy journalism".

saffire · 06/04/2021 09:30

Lots of threads I've commented on have ended up in the press. I have a sneaky suspicion that half are reporters posting goady things looking for a story. Complete laziness!

saffire · 06/04/2021 09:31

@JustJustWhy

Nope. I don't worry. If it's potentially a contentious thread just put a disclaimer in the opening post saying "Fuck the Daily Mail et al for their lazy journalism".

But that won't stop them! They'll just redact the text.

jessstan2 · 06/04/2021 09:33

@Painauchocolat189

I suppose I was naïve in my thinking.

Whenever I've requested to have threads deleted previously, they won't delete them outright but will move them to 30 days only if I remember well?

I think we should have a button to press if we want to delete a thread, or a post. Also some facility for editing, it's annoying to post things and then see typos which for some reason seem to happen more on here than other places.

Sparklingbrook · 06/04/2021 09:33

@JustJustWhy

Nope. I don't worry. If it's potentially a contentious thread just put a disclaimer in the opening post saying "Fuck the Daily Mail et al for their lazy journalism".

I don't think that actually works, they can just not print that. Plus there's been plenty of threads discussed on Loose Women/The Wright Stuff and in other newspapers.

If you were about to post something and thought you actually needed that disclaimer it must be a bit in content. They aren't going to print anything run of the mill.

DrSbaitso · 06/04/2021 09:34

@saffire

Lots of threads I've commented on have ended up in the press. I have a sneaky suspicion that half are reporters posting goady things looking for a story. Complete laziness!

There was once a thread, might be preserved in Classics, that was definitely started by a journalist looking for a story. How did we know? Because the plonker left their editor's instructions in when they copy pasted it into the text box.

Hurrah for the Great British press!

lovevlyt · 06/04/2021 09:34

I haven't but a few tips as I've always worried about this : I name change fairly regularly and I also change the facts of a story, for example if I was talking about a friend getting married abroad I'd change my age, their age - the country etc.

You can change enough material facts that's the person reading would never know and you still get the answers you're looking for.

I'm surprised people don't do this anyway?! Maybe it's the pessimist in me!

Sparklingbrook · 06/04/2021 09:37

The thing is you can get the thread deleted on here (If MNHQ agree-they don't always) but it's already out there. People have already taken screenshots, the journalists already have it. You can't delete the thread from the whole world once it exists.

JustJustWhy · 06/04/2021 09:40

Unfortunately I can't 'quote' a message that contains a quote.

Yes, the DM and all the other lazy journalists can redact from their story but their links ultimately lead those who are interested back to the original thread on this website. Not that the readers would be all that bothered anyway. They are reading the DM after all.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 06/04/2021 09:40

@saffire

Lots of threads I've commented on have ended up in the press. I have a sneaky suspicion that half are reporters posting goady things looking for a story. Complete laziness!

I agree, there are some weird AIBU, particularly when the OP doesnt return.

thebillyotea · 06/04/2021 09:41

and you have to be careful about what you post on a very public board visited by the press.

why does it matter if it is visited by the press?

Surely you must understand a very public board means anyone can read everything you post? What's that weird idea that MN is some kind of safe bubble?

MN threads are reposted on social media, by MN, the worst ones are copied and posted on reddit. You can end up on MN when googling for some gardening or employment tips, and browse around.

Every time you post on the internet you accept that what you wrote can end up in the front page of your local paper, or the board of your office.

it's not that hard, is it.
(which is why many posters name change regularly, and change details to avoid being recognised, it's easy).

grapewine · 06/04/2021 09:43

@JustJustWhy

Nope. I don't worry. If it's potentially a contentious thread just put a disclaimer in the opening post saying "Fuck the Daily Mail et al for their lazy journalism".

That will do nothing whatsoever to keep threads out of the press.

Sparklingbrook · 06/04/2021 09:44

The only sure fire way to keep it out of the press is to not post it. Easy.

thebillyotea · 06/04/2021 09:46

@JustJustWhy

Nope. I don't worry. If it's potentially a contentious thread just put a disclaimer in the opening post saying "Fuck the Daily Mail et al for their lazy journalism".

it just make you sound like an attention seeker and does absolute nothing to prevent the story going in the news.

Using user names such as "DM readers are a bunch of twats" does NOTHING either. At worst, they quote your post, not your name.

I do love the fact that everybody on MN hates the DM allegedly, but pretty much everyone reads it

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