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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to punch this lady in the face

53 replies

spidermomma · 05/04/2021 19:10

Breif background-
2 possibly 3 of my baby's have a terminal illness that means they will eventually loose the ability to do everything....
my oldest (4) has lost a lot of his walking so sometimes school will now ring and say to bring his big buggy if he's having a bad day for me to walk home with as we walk.... we've only just recently got this about a month ago now
It's brilliant but we do try to avoid using it as keeping him walking as much as I can is best for him & he uses aids etc to stay safe but very very independent like his friends

So on our FIRST ever walk home with his buggy from school about 2 weeks ago with the baby on the back in his buggy board loving life pretending to drive, everyone commented how brilliant it was , his little best friend even came over and said "oh don't you look so comfy in your chair" their only 4/5 she melted my heart saying this, genuinely love how oblivious children are to differences and see people for people ❤️
But
Then one lady just bluntly and rudely shouted across a road to me "well what's wrong with him then"
Well 1- who the helll are you ????
2 why the f* would I tell a stranger my business and
3- WHO ON EARTH WOULD SAY THIS TO A MOTHER ABOUT A CHILD????

Needless to say, she's lucky I had 3 kids with me and I think she got that from the look on my face but wow I'm still so annoyed ????

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 05/04/2021 19:14

Fucking hell. She sounds like a total shit. Though, I am glad you stayed in control, because your children need you.

B33Fr33 · 05/04/2021 19:14

What a wanker.

PandaFluff · 05/04/2021 19:16

How weird! Why on earth would she yell that?!

Original poster
spidermomma · 05/04/2021 19:16

Just wish people wouldn't judge, I am a hard nut to crack but she could of said this to someone an really broke them because it isn't easy getting around with 2 disabled children and a baby. It's so daunting somedays to leave the house with them as it's so hard. Didn't realise how much people still judge this day in age !!

OP posts:
Graciebobcat · 05/04/2021 19:18

Yell back "WTF is wrong with YOU, nosey cow."

DaphneDuBois · 05/04/2021 20:28

Give her a hard slap from me too.

AWamBamBoom · 05/04/2021 20:58

Christ, I'm embarrassed for her, what a fucking stupid thing to say. I would bet money on another parent pulling her up sharply on it

Saz12 · 05/04/2021 21:01

What a bitch!!! I hope someone told her so, too.

IdblowJonSnow · 05/04/2021 21:06

Swift kick up the arse from me too.
Don't let her burst your bubble op. There is always one sadly. You were quite right to hold back, difficult as I'm sure it was.

fifteenmillionmerits · 05/04/2021 21:13

OP, I would have wanted to punch her just as much as you. No call for her to comment on your kids at all. Some people are just vile.

DrManhattan · 05/04/2021 21:16

She just sounds like a proper dick head.
Try not to dwell on it. Xx

Atalantea · 05/04/2021 21:17

His is a medical need, what's wrong with you? Out without your carer??

Joinedjustforthispost · 05/04/2021 21:22

I was having a nice leisurely walk to bamburagh castle and was passed by a Walker and her curious child who asked why my 4 year old wasn’t walking and in a buggy FYI it was actually a wheelchair off the wheelchair service and my daughter is severely disabled. The mum spouted because some parents are lazy and out there kids in Prams! What an ignorant woman, she was power walking past us but I did shout back she’s disabled! Angry

elliejjtiny · 05/04/2021 21:24

I'm so sorry this has happened. As a mum of disabled children I get these kinds of comments a lot. It's why my 12 year old who is an ambulatory wheelchair user would rather walk until he collapses with exhaustion rather than use his wheelchair and face the stares and comments.

Original poster
spidermomma · 05/04/2021 21:26

@Joinedjustforthispost urgh I want to power walk after her an trip her up 🤬
You can tell the difference as Iv a buggy from wheelchair services to and it's nothing like the baby buggy I have haha plus it probably weighs more then me ! Just rude I'd do anything to let my baby's walk I'd give him my legs if I could , why are people so rude and horrid
Hope you're okay x

OP posts:
Original poster
spidermomma · 05/04/2021 21:28

@elliejjtiny that's just broke my Heart it's discusting!! I am so sorry your dc feels this way. The world is so wrong, before this happened to me. Never would I ever look and think what is wrong ?"" Let alone say it.
Literally I once helped a mum who's son had a seizure and her hands were full of shopping - but I helped her to her car, I wasn't been nosey didn't asked questions. I just wanted her get to her car quickly enough without everyone staring at them gorping were she could cope with it. Never once passed my mind these questions I / we face ! Xx

OP posts:
MajorMujer · 05/04/2021 21:30

Some people are just dickheads, vile, vile dickheads.

MrsHastingslikethebattle · 05/04/2021 21:32

I would have said He has a terminal illness called .....glad to see that people are nice about and not to point it out.

I would have embarrassed her.

alittlequinnie · 05/04/2021 21:35

My daughter is grown up now but she has a degenerative disease and is in a wheelchair. She was okay until she was about 22 so has friends that she has not seen for years and don't know anything about her illness.

We went to a funeral of one of her friends and there were about 10 people there she used to know when she was younger. Not one of them asked why she was in a wheelchair!

My point?

People are really wierd about disabilities and don't know what to say or how to say it. I suffer with it myself - despite living (and working) in those circles!

She might have wanted to ask genuinely but got her words wrong but she might be just a dick!

One of the children at my grandson's school asked my daughter why she is in the chair - my daughter just said "because I'm special"!

AIMD · 05/04/2021 21:35

Urgh. That’s why the c word was invented no?

PutItInNeutral · 05/04/2021 21:45

She’s a nasty piece of work. I’m so sorry you had to hear that.

You and your children are doing amazingly well. And you sound lovely too. Didn’t deserve this at all, and I’m raging for you.

FrankensteinIsTheMonster · 05/04/2021 21:49

@Atalantea

His is a medical need, what's wrong with you? Out without your carer??
She was a cunt but this is ableist shite too.
StopGo · 05/04/2021 21:54

I'm the child of a paraplegic parent. Can I just offer you a mega hug.

AcornAutumn · 05/04/2021 21:59

OP

I will do it for you!

Vallmo47 · 05/04/2021 22:04

Horrendous. Some people are so thoughtless it’s unreal. Sending love 💕

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