To want to punch this lady in the face

[spidermomma]

Breif background-
2 possibly 3 of my baby's have a terminal illness that means they will eventually loose the ability to do everything....
my oldest (4) has lost a lot of his walking so sometimes school will now ring and say to bring his big buggy if he's having a bad day for me to walk home with as we walk.... we've only just recently got this about a month ago now
It's brilliant but we do try to avoid using it as keeping him walking as much as I can is best for him & he uses aids etc to stay safe but very very independent like his friends

So on our FIRST ever walk home with his buggy from school about 2 weeks ago with the baby on the back in his buggy board loving life pretending to drive, everyone commented how brilliant it was , his little best friend even came over and said "oh don't you look so comfy in your chair" their only 4/5 she melted my heart saying this, genuinely love how oblivious children are to differences and see people for people ❤️
But
Then one lady just bluntly and rudely shouted across a road to me "well what's wrong with him then"
Well 1- who the helll are you ????
2 why the f* would I tell a stranger my business and
3- WHO ON EARTH WOULD SAY THIS TO A MOTHER ABOUT A CHILD????

Needless to say, she's lucky I had 3 kids with me and I think she got that from the look on my face but wow I'm still so annoyed ????

There's clearly something far more the matter with her.

I'm sorry you had to experience this. How appalling.

I think I would have told her to fuck off and die but then I am a bitch like that.

Console yourself with the knowledge you have lovely children and will never be as ignorant as this wanker.

I was quite often the child in this situation due to mobility issues. It’s shit OP for you. There will always be people like that. I echo what a PP said above - people never know what to say and sometimes say really weird/awkward stuff.

That is awful. Some people are quite unbelievable.

The woman is a shit. A proper bucket of shit.
One day she will receive a hard slap from someone for opening her gob. This is what she deserves.

I'm sorry you have to go through this OP.

What a vile c* 😡 I would have shouted back what the fuck is wrong with you?!
What an absolute bitch, sorry you had to go through this shit. Some people are literally a waste of oxygen.

You are going through a lot here. People do not think.

Some people are just tears @spidermomma

We occasionally use a pushchair for dd. She is 7.5 but is on a low dose chemo med for a non cancer related health condition. It causes muscle fatigue and she tires quickly so we use it for ongoing days out ie legoland and Chessington. Honestly no-one batted an eyelid but I dread the comments from people. 9 times out of 10 she is fine and doesn't need it but that 1 time it is so much easier to have it there.

I have a mild disability and I cannot carry her,I struggled massive when she was a new born and as a 22kg 7.5 year old I have no hope!

People are so fucking thoughtless. What a cow.

Sorry about that stupid woman OP. But as you have done already, focus on the good and the lovely comment made by his best friend about his comfy chair . Keep being a great mum

The only thing that makes me not want to kill people like this is the knowledge that they must be in some kind of personal hell in order to lash out like this. Stewing in their own miserable juices and likely to lack the emotional intelligence to be a better person.

OP - keep your focus on the fact people like this idiot are a rarity. Keep strong, enjoy your family.

So rude I can't fathom some people. I remember I used to look after a young adult with a certain rare genetic condition, he had visual traits as well as learning difficulties. We where on a bus and this older woman got chatting to him friendly, seemed to enjoy their chat but then she turned to me and said "what's wrong with him then?" I was a bit taken back at first and looked at him and I could tell he was embrassed and uncomfortable, she then proceeded to repeat it again! I snapped out if my shock and said "Nothing is wrong with him what's wrong with you asking things like that?" She got all embrassed and said "sorry" I think she just presumed he wouldn't understand her, like he was a baby or something. Some people are just idiots

You look at her. You maintain eye contact. You move in close and you whisper in her ear "He has a terminal illness. Is that okay with you?"

Wow, op, well done for not shouting cunt at her. I would have wanted too but would have had to stop myself for the other dcs.
I hate the stares and side eyes you get when you walk past people when dc is in wheelchair

Can you leave your kids with someone next time and go along and sort her out? Or take someone with you to watch the kids and give her an earfull

People are a combination of rude and embarrassed by disabilities. Thankfully my DD's were petite, my eldest is autistic so it was far safer and less stress to use a pushchair when I was out alone with her and her sister, her younger sister was simply lazy so squeezed in with her sister up until they were 7 & 5 and the chassis snapped - it wasn't designed for 2 school aged kids! It was easier then, once she had to walk I had to deal with the meltdowns, running off etc and people staring did my head in, just ask what's the matter!

@Terminallysleepdeprived

We rented a double buggy for ours at Disneyland Paris at 6&8. The elder is autistic so super stroppy and the youngest is lazy - nobody batted an eyelid and many larger kids were in buggies

First of all you don’t owe anyone an explanation. DS is on the asd spectrum and I often get ‘well he doesn’t look autistic’ , a few times (tone dependant) I’ve replied “well you don’t look like an arrogant prick but here you are”
I’ve often been close to sucker punching someone in the face but you gotta think it’s not worth it because they are the type that would prosecute you even though they were the dickhead.
Your kids are all that matter....

People seem to think that they have a right to know your personal information. I get it all the time if I have to use a stick or crutches. It's so annoying.

Not the same thing at all, but my DD, who is 4.5 and adopted, struggled emotionally massively in this lockdown and regressed a lot. She wanted to be in the buggy (her toddler brother’s) a lot. We kept passing these same older women in the park who were shooting us dirty looks and muttering to each other and I just KNEW it was about DD in the buggy.

I fantasised about going up to them and demanding to know if they’d ever parented traumatised children with emotional difficulties through a pandemic with closed schools and no fucking help. But of course I didn’t.

Is it a toddler buggy or disability buggy? If it’s the former, I’d say she mostly likely made a major mistake and probably didn’t think through what she asked, not realising that he has a serious illness but instead thinking it could just be a nasty bug or injury...if your buggy is obviously for older kids then she honestly has no excuse at all.

That said, some people have a bit of a gruff, direct manner about them and can easily go too far without meaning to be offensive.

I’m sorry this happened to you. Some things just beggar belief don’t they?! Thankfully most people are lovely. Try and ignore or educate the others.

What a bloody awful thing to say about a disabled person, 'wrong.' Nothing is wrong with your child. It's not wrong to have a disability. How ableist, I'm not surprised you're so upset.