To be fed up of my neighbours

[Cherrydown]

Name changed as I don't want to be recognised.

I am so fed up with my neighbours and if you all tell me to get a grip I shall honestly try. I doubt things are going to change, so maybe I do just need to look at it a different way.

I live in a semi on a quiet road, been here 20 years, I like it.

My adjoining neighbour moved in a few years ago and don't use their back garden at all, ever. They have table and chairs set out on their driveway, paddling pool and sun loungers in the summer and bbq with loud music about 4 times a week.

They sit there most evenings and have loud voices, we hear them over our tv and our lounge is only about 10ft away from where they are sat, we have one through room, so can't change where we sit. It has started up again this week and will likely go on until about October.

To be fair music is usually turned off by 10pm but they can sit out there talking until the early hours.

Last summer was just awful, I can't bear the thought of it being the same again this year. It just feels so intrusive. We can hardly hear our own tv/music. I just find it very rude. We're very quiet, private people, so perhaps that's why it bothers us so much.

I know them to say hello to but no more than that. They are shouty people, I'm not and hate confrontation.

AIBU to think this behaviour isn't okay?

Any suggestions of how to handle it? Do I just need to get a grip, it makes me more annoyed than it probably should do?

Oh and sorry for those also having to put up with inconsiderate neighbours. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

Have you thought of potentially introducing things onto the driveway area that may put them off sitting there? Fire ants? , a bee hive? A bird table with a big pile of fruit on it that wasps love?

God I'm evil!

I wouldn’t say anything as with these kind of inconsiderate people, they might go quiet initially but they’ll be back to their usual noise levels before you know it.

I would look into triple glazing, a fence or screen to block them out. Venetian blinds so you can tilt them, at least then you can’t see them as easily. Anything to add a bit more of a perceived distance.

At least you know they will be annoying other neighbours too! Doesn’t help the situation but you know you’re not alone.

I feel your pain and sympathise. I have the same problem and have decided to move.

I would hate this too. If you really can't move, then I would prioritise neighbour-proofing your own house if you can afford to: triple-glaze front windows upstairs and down, blinds, sub-divide your living space so your lounge is at the back, summer house at the bottom of your garden, and eat out there all summer. Move bedrooms so the family members most bothered by the noise sleep at the back of the house.

ROUGH!!!!

Appreciate it is annoying, but if it was me I would cost up to get the through room split and then sit at the back instead.

I usually look to see if I can solve it by an easy route as it is easier on my blood pressure than getting wound up repeatedly.

If they are not in the back garden - could you put up a cheap summer house and make more use of your own garden?

I would not start any official neighbour dispute unless you are certain you won;t sell as you would have to declare - that is why I would mitigate rather than challenge unless unavoidable.

I don't think saying anything will make any difference either. I suspect anonymous notes might risk them being even noisier. I would definitely plant a good thick hedge if possible, and the animal repellent sounds like a good idea.

I suppose you could look on the bright side: at least all this isn't going on in the back garden where it would be even more annoying.

Neighbour disputes never end well ime, neither side gets the result they want, the stress and unpleasantness can be awful. Plus you have to declare it should you sell.

I am a great believer in "Good fences make good neighbours ". Install a high fence (check local planning rules about exactly how high it can be near the road. A thick hedge also absorbs noise, but takes a while to grow unless you plant Laylandii.

Triple glazing and thick curtains on your front window.

Move your seating area to the rear of the house.

This resonates so much

I do wonder how people have so little self awareness and not realise that they are the only ones behaving a particular way

New neighbours moved in just before lockdown.

Tiny garden, hung baskets in the fence, the type that hook over so I get to see big orange hooks. Put up a trellis and trained the plants on my side through their trellis.

Have bonfires in their tiny back garden when me and the neighbour on the other side have washing out

Blare their music out

Taking a shortcut over my driveway. They have their own path

Drilling and banging at all hours

Loud phone conversations at night while she is outside smoking

And they too sit out the front drinking.

No one else on the street does this. Everyone else is respectful and good neighbours

It's almost as if they've never lived next to anyone before or maybe they just don't care.

I know it's lots of little things but they make me anxious.

Our NDNs used to do this and it drove me crazy. I fully accept that part of it was snobbery on my part and I annoyed myself with that aspect! But it was also that they had a lovely back garden they could use, albeit slightly less sun. The main difference for me though was that in the back garden we are separated by proper fences etc so although some noise might travel, you don't have to see or experience your neighbour's parties int he same way. I couldn't come in or out of my driveway without them being there. I couldn't look out of my window without seeing them etc. Whereas in the garden, it's definitely less intrusive even if it's not any less noisy.

When they moved out we all did a little celebratory jig!!

Huge sympathies OP, I hate neighbour noise and am also dreading this Summer. We’ve already had a party until 4am next door, tiny gardens. I started to get really quite depressed and anxious about it all.

We are hoping to move and this is a major factor.

I hope you can find a way to make it better.

I wouldn’t be able to keep quiet about behaviour like this.

Borrow a dog who likes to bark a lot, like a Tibetan Terrier. Allow the dog to sit at your front window so he barks at any slightest movement or noise out the front, with your window open for maximum effect. They might get the hint.

Your neighbours are using their own garden. It’s their front garden. Is that a problem, why do they have to go round the back? Are front gardens common or something?

Not sure where you live, but generally the back gardens are areas to go for BBQ, lounging, playing, hot tubbing, putting your washing out etc - can't believe anybody would use the front garden for any of this. The front garden is usually the more decorative area of the home outdoors. Nicely tended front gardens improves the whole street. (I know many are converted to car parks by necessity)
Can't imagine neighbours sitting out the front on display to the street, watching their comings and going's. Can't imagine buying a house where music was blasting out the front, neighbours were shouting at each other and generally bodies were lying sprawled out on display.

If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I wouldn't believe it but my new neighbours have just put up a trampoline complete with netting

I can't wait for summer. I'll need to invest on some headphones