To be really shocked by this.

[ivfbabymomma1]

Today whilst in the park for a walk I saw 4 teenagers, 2 boys & 2 girls. And the boys were "walking" the girls by leads attached to studded collars around their necks.

Is this a thing teenagers do?! It just didn't sit well with me.....

I would have done this as a joke when I was a teenager.

*@UhtredRagnarson goth subculture often attracts the ‘weird’ or ‘unpopular’ or ‘uncool’ kids because it’s about acceptance regardless of who you are. That doesn’t mean they need help

It also doesn’t meant they dont

Well that’s true of literally anyone, I’m simply pointing out that being a goth or in a dom/sub situation isn’t indicative of needing help. That’s all.

I was at school in the 90s with a goth girl who did this with her boyfriend. It’s for the shock value.

yes but the point is that they were leading / being led around by a dog chain in a public place for everyone of all ages in society to see.
So if you are saying this is ok because it is a fetish which must be accepted for universal consumption by the public, what other aspects of Dom/Sub behaviour do you say should also be freely displayed in public for all to see whether people want to see it or not?

it is one thing two adults agreeing to lead / be led round by a dog chain in their own home. I really think it is another thing to do it in a public park where all ages of people are. No doubt I will be flamed for havin that opinion in 2021

I’m not at all saying you have to like it, or that I think all/any behaviours you see have to be liked. But if they aren’t illegal then there isn’t much you can do. I don’t especially like PDAs, or men walking around topless but there’s very little I can do about it. My comment wasn’t to say you have to be comfortable with it, but in response to comments about people thinking it’s women being abused/forced when that’s not how it works, I wasn’t making any judgement call on if it is socially acceptable.

Well that’s true of literally anyone,

Anyone walking round being led by dog lead would raise a question mark of coercion at the very least for me.

I’m simply pointing out that being a goth or in a dom/sub situation isn’t indicative of needing help. That’s all.

Being goth or in a sub/Dom situation wasn’t my concern. It was 14/15 year old children being led around on dog leads. I don’t care what culture their part of.

@itsgettingwierd yes, I was goth, my best friend was a nerd as we would have said then, we were the misfits who didn’t fit in for various reasons and became a group bonded by that. We are all still very close.

I woild be interested to know if these 14 year-olds were actually Goths? If not, I would be even more worried.

A lot of people get very confused over what real goths are. The likelihood is that they weren't real goths, but are into metal music or emo or whatever. Which are not the same.

Many people to through what they call a 'goth phase' but I can tell you that those who got into the music and scene are usually always into the music and scene.

Just needed to point this out because it gets tiring explaining that I'm not into Marilyn Manson and I don't advocate for killing babies or biting the heads off chickens

Forty odd years ago people sometimes wore bondage and BDSM stuff. It's not new. It's just kids asserting themselves and pushing boundaries and enjoying the shock rock aspect of it all.

It's nothing to worry about at all.

@SpongeCakeAddict agreed. I’m still a goth, I’m just an old one 😂

Sorry but all this "misfit" kind of thing I'm having none of. Maybe in some cases, trying on for size in the teen years but not as a generalisation. It's a culture in and of its own. I've been labelled a "goth" since the age of 13. Almost 20 years later I'm thinking dismissing it as a phase is silly. I have a very wide friendship group and we're all "alternative", I also have some friends who aren't.
Sure I've got a few collars, and a lead that can clip on. Of course that's not an appropriate thing to do in public, regardless of age but definitely questionable with kids this age.
I'm no more of a "misfit" than another other mum on the school run, probably friendlier than most given half a chance. Not that that stops people judging.
In short, the behaviour described in the OP - yes, concerning. Other "goth" stereotypes, YABU.

Come over to the dark side, we have cookies

Former teenage goth here- I was led around on a metal lead briefly when I was about 15/16. Was a brief trend, some of my other friends were too. This was like twenty years ago. I wouldn’t be particularly concerned about it 🤷‍♀️

@UhtredRagnarson but that’s my point, if you know the culture you’d know it’s not coercive it’s very much a mutual decision. I’ve known many many friends/friends of my children in coercive/unhealthy relationships, which are very much hidden. The Dom/sub particularly so publicly is probably less likely to be that way.

@getyourfreakon I don’t mean to imply that all goths are misfits. It’s definitely true of my group of friends, but in our group there were also misfit types who weren’t goth at all. I was goth before the whole emo thing happened though, abs there weee far fewer of us then. It almost became the ‘in’ culture in the 2000s to be what was weird when I was in school in the 80s.

To the poster saying people can dress however they want. No they can't. We have laws on "outraging public decency"

Would it be acceptable for someone to walk around a Jewish cemetery in an SS uniform or for someone to walk down a high street wearing a KKK outfit, swinging a noose in their hand or someone to walk past a school yard wearing just a short Tshirt

I'm not saying the teenagers have broken the law but we do have laws that protect people from offensive dress and nudity

but that’s my point, if you know the culture you’d know it’s not coercive it’s very much a mutual decision

No, sorry, you can’t know that. You can’t assume that it isn’t coercive just because many people in that culture do it willingly for fun/hobby. Just like you can’t assume that women dying from being strangled during sex weren’t coerced because many others enjoy erotic asphyxiation.

It might have started as a goth trend, it’s now a stupid tiktok trend.

I was an indie girl in the late 90s/early 00s, which kind of sat in a Venn that also included goth/metal/alternative EDM and touched on the fringes of the dying rave scene, and I suppose, spawned Emo.

One of the scene's defining elements was celebrating that 'outsider status': we were the oddballs, the quirky kids, and our music/fashion etc was all about that.

I wasn't particularly interested in shock tactics, but I had friends who were (generally middle-class white kids whose parents were GPs ).

Kids have always been tribal and looked for ways to 'shock' and annoy adults.

@UhtredRagnarson you also can’t assume that it is. It’s not any more likely to be a coercive relationship than any other.

Oh Jesus. You’re going in circles here. No one can assume anything. Better to check with the child and be sure than assume she’s grand and not bother.

Near me a lot of teenagers are into “puppy play” and are also trans in large groups (friendship groups of say 15 children who all grew up together now en masse identifying as opposite to their biological sex).
All this collar and lead business and also weird vinyl gimp like dog and cat masks is a thing that I frequently see in the local park or sea front and I see friend’s children mentioning “playtime” on Facebook. It’s really really weird and quite upsetting, especially for their parents who don’t know how to understand it but want to be loving accepting and supportive. They are all quite an alternative bunch and it all, with this peer group, seems to originally have stemmed from anime.

There is a lot of cross over with goth subculture & BDSM so it sounds like they were strutting around trying to act like little "edge lords"

It sounds shocking but they were obviously going for that reaction.

how long were the leads? were they socially distanced ?

There's a girl on TikTok who makes an absolute fortune pretending to be a dog in public, drinks from dog bowls, walks on all fours on a leash. Of course it's a kink thing. People who really understand kink know the number one rule however is that you don't involve unwilling participants which includes not showing off your kink in public like that.

...It is weird to dress in "heavy" goth style. (Even weirder and stupid to let someone walk you around on a lead.) I assume that's the whole point of dressing that way. You want people to notice you and what a non-conformist you are. Fine, so long as you're not hurting anyone, but don't be surprised when people then think you look like a "werido"!

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay

how long were the leads? were they socially distanced ?

ive waited the whole thread for this burning question lol