to not want to give someone a life

[micegg]

I feel stupid posting this but just want to see what people think. Warning : this may drag on whilst I explain:

A friend of mine has moved about 2 hours away from where I live. My DD and her DS get on really well so it would be nice to see them all again. My friend has also invited someone else who lives about 15 mins from me. I have met this woman a couple of times as she has a DD the same age as mine but I wouldnt say we were friends. In fact to be honest I have found her to be a bit rude (wont bore with details). My friend has hinted that could I give this woman a lift as she will have to get there by bus otherwise.

The issues are this:

1. my DD is not the best traveller and has been known to scream for an entire journey before
2. this journey is 2 hours already without the extra 30 minutes to each part of the journey to pick this woman up and then come back on myself to continue the journey.
3. I know its selfish but I just cant be bothered with it. I only have one car seat so it wont be a straight forward pick up as there will be faffing time getting her car seat into the car, etc.
4. Its bad enough travelling with my DD let alone someone elses kid screaming in the back.
5. I dont really like this woman enough to spend 5 hours in a car!
6. I work 4 days a week so this is my one day off. It doesnt feel very appeaing to spend most of it in my car anyway.

I am thinking of keeping quiet and not offering any lifts unless asked directly by my friend. As I say she has only hinted by telling me that this woman is getting the bus as she doesnt have a car. I could just go on another day to this woman but may be tricky as its my friends DSs birthday party.

I suppose overall I am also questioing whether my freindship can be maintained now my friend has moved so far away. We met via the DC and she doesnt drive. We are both expecting our second children early next year which will complicate things further.

I agree with Unitedfriedchicken. Do you know for sure that this woman actually wants a lift? I'm used to not having a car and am happy to make my own way around. Sometimes well-meaning people will say "I'll ask X to give you a lift" or worse they will ask the other person without mentioning it to me first. It can be quite embarrassing as it's hard to turn down the lift without sounding rude or ungrateful.

If the other woman accepted the invitation then it's likely that she's already planned the journey and knows nothing of your mutual friend's offer.

I say give her a lift, if she actually wants one that is.

It will be a pain if you don't like her but the nicest thing to do.

I think you should put on some childrens cd's or tapes then you wont be able to talk as the kids will be listening.

Was just about to post exactly the same coppertop - I'm very happy to get trains/buses, and go all over the place. I feel rude to turn down lifts when offered, and often people are insistent, but I prefer to travel independently.

I do think there are issues in keeping up old friendships over distance, I'm reluctant to spend too much time travelling to see old friends - I want to put my energy into friends where we live now, as they are the ones who are part of the fabric of our life. I do want to keep in touch with old friends as well though, as they are emotionally part of me.

I would offer the lift, and not ask for petrol money. You or your dd might even make a friend.

So what did you decide micegg? We're waiting for the ending to this.