Easter eggs- how would you react

[Oilpyi]

Asking for perspective, neither DH or I grew up with Easter Eggs or much in the way of things- it already seems indulgent, but I’m aware our perspective isn’t always the norm with the world the kids grow up in. That’s why I’m asking...

We’ve had a crazy amount of eggs this year. DH as a key worker was gifted a very generous pile. I got some through volunteering, kids got some from family and from clubs. I was planning to give some away as it seemed so many. They’d weren’t little or cheap either, ones with Lindt bunnies in, London, fancy M&S stuff etc plus some smaller ones with mugs. Not little eggs.

The ones from work etc were in a stack on a sideboard, along with some boxes of chocolate where they’d been for days. A box or two was open and we’d been sharing them already. Neither of us eat much chocolate ourselves and we generally have no issue with the kids slowly eating their way through it, which is what we normally do with gifted chocolate. Open one at a time/ one each at a time and let them eat.

This morning I had left the eggs from family on an armchair and said ‘Easter bunny’s been’ and left the kids while I showered. Fine them opening and eating.

When I came down they’d collected all the eggs and chocolate boxes from both rooms and had opened the lot, a huge pile of ripped boxes obviously frantically opened. They’d then made a pile each of eggs and chocolate sharing it out. Rubbish from boxes everywhere and they’d opened chocolate each and already the carpet was covered in chocolate bits (whilst I’m not Usually precious it was an instant Hoover need or they’d be chocolate stains over a wide area). The floor was a sea of boxes.

It just looked so wasteful they’d rip in like that, so presumptuous we’d not want any given to us (we normally eat a little of what we get ourselves, but not much) and just so expectant they could do it without even asking. I felt sick walking in and seeing such an expensive pile of chocolate just all opened and piled up carelessly- it was more that than either adult wanting any. It seemed so spoilt. No concept of any value or appreciation of it.

The kids are a range of primary ages from the oldest to the youngest spanning yr 1-6. I’m generally a bit irritated anyway with the older ones being messy and lazy and everything being a fight.

So- how would you react?
Say it’s Easter- enjoy and have fun
Or yes, that’s overly wasteful and spoilt behaviour.

You can’t delegate adult decisions to a child, particularly as you haven’t expressed your wishes very clearly. You’re appointing the 11 year old as the remaining children’s supervisor in your absence, which is not uncommon amongst larger families, but I think it’s not a good way to parent

Eh? Which adult decision was delegated to the 11 yr old? And why on earth would children aged 6+ (not toddlers) need a 'supervisor' while the adult has a shower?? It's not like OP left the kids at home alone while she went out to work / shops / clubbing.

@MarieDelaere

That's what I mean about it being a "fuck you, mum" moment from the 11 year old. He's made a mess, encouraged the younger ones to join in, and it's mum who gets to either clean up or supervise the cleaning up.

She was only getting a shower.

That says more about you than an 11year old having some chocolate on Easter Sunday. Fuck you, Mum! Really?

The mess, Greyhound, the total mess the OP described. Did you not read it?

We had none this year as all sold out 🙄

Put it down to experience, OP. They're young and you've left lots of choccy easter eggs on a chair so they saw it as permission to get stuck in. Maybe a large blanket on the floor and some light supervision/reminders not to throw the packaging and choc everywhere.

"Fuck off with the shit parenting comments"

Fuck off yourself.

"Shit comprehension skills on your behalf."

The OP pointed at a pile of chocolate and said they could help themselves. The OP also said that they had been allowed to help themselves to other eggs.

So, nope, what I said was right. So DFOD.

The OP's question was 'Easter eggs - how would you react?'

Opinions within Talk Guidelines are acceptable, so I don't know why the swearing and personal insults are thought to be necessary.

There's also still the comprehension issue in play that the DC are thought to be aged 1 to 6. They're not. They're YEAR 1 - 6, aged 6 - 11.

TBH I think all kids can get a bit entitled sometimes and if it is a developing behaviour with your 11 year old then I suspect it is the start of the horrible "tweenage" years when they regress to self absorbed toddlers just a bit bigger and with a better vocabulary.

You might sit down with them and have a chat about how some families are really struggling and can't afford to buy adequate food let alone easter eggs. If you'd been thinking of donating eggs to a food bank explain that to them and point out that now they've opened them all you can't do that. Perhaps ask them each to donate a portion of their pocket money next week to buy something and put it in the food bank collection box at the supermarket - doesn't have to be a lot just a packet of pasta/tea bags/tin of beans. It usually brings mine up short and makes them think a bit.

Yeah I'd be upset OP. They're not babies and were old enough to know not to get the other eggs without asking. I'd just say I was disappointed, you thought they were grown up enough to use better judgment, and next time you will be sure to use clear instructions.

Or if the other eggs are still in ok condition I'd say they have to wrap them back up and put them back.

@ThePricklySheep

You should have moved the ones they weren’t to have.

The ones they weren't to have were moved, they were in another room entirely

@Oilpyi

Year one, not 1. Year six to year one in age, 4 of them.

It would have been clearer if said ages rather school years to be fair

@Dilbertian

You gave an unclear message.

They know that Easter chocolate is building up in the other room, and that eating it is permitted. Your "Easter Bunny's been" did not in any way indicate that only this specific pile is available right now.

Besides, they'll have been hearing all about egg hunts, perhaps even doing them at school, so quite likely they thought this was your version.

This ^

If generally you indicate that anyone can eat any chocolate that they like then that's what to expect.

OP should have put them in a cupboard which would have taken 2 seconds and this whole situation would have been avoided!

She put them in a completely different room.

Presumably she should have arranged for securicor to come and take them for storage in a security deposit box.

The making a mess would get lighter response on a festival occasion, going into another room and taking stuff which isn't theirs is simply not on. The idea that school age children must have 24*7 supervision by their parents rather than simply learning to keep their hands off other peoples' stuff is bonkers.

Yes, I'd expect better from them - I'd use it as a discussion point about responsibility and greed and convince them that some of the goodies should be shared with those who have little (ie the food bank). I certainly would be more annoyed at the older ones.

Though I'd probably have flipped my lid first in all honesty!

Gosh, what I took from that was - they were sharing them out nicely between them with no arguments.
What a lovely bunch of children!
That’s not necessarily easy to do when there won’t have been 4 of everything.

I would cut a lot of slack here... yes, you’d labelled your some for them - but with the whole “egg hunt” thing at Easter, they might have thought the Easter Bunny (your introduction!) had left both piles for them.

I doubt Y6 was being a greedy, underhand little sod! Genuine mistake.

And the fact there was packaging everywhere? Blame the manufacturers for that utter waste, not the kids.

I think you have already let it go... but I just wanted to say I loved their sharing!

I'd say there is some shit parenting going on here, and its not the OP.

Still gobsmacked at the amount of people who don't expect better of their kids than to help themselves to food/treats that aren't theirs in a completely different room.

I've taught my kids from an early age that there is food/treats that are theirs, and food/treats that are the adults and they do not EVER just help themselves to anything without asking first, and they certainly don't touch the adults food.

I would have felt much like you, OP, when my kids were this age.

Now that they are adults, I look back and think I was a pretty harsh and too demanding parent.

Your children are primary school age. They’re not “messy” or “lazy”. They’re still little children.

They literally don’t have the mental capacity to be as disciplined or thoughtful as adults. I presume they weren’t aware that you planned to give away some of the eggs. So the worst they’ve done in their minds may have been to have unboxed some eggs a little before you would have done (which their experience tells them you would have let them eat) and “fairly” doled it out among themselves. Then they’ve left a mess of cardboard and plastic (which can presumably by cleared up quite quickly).

The consequences aren’t grave and they don’t seem to have had a particularly devious or selfish “plan” (they haven’t stuffed their faces or hidden away all the chocolate). You can still have the chocolate you want. The eldest can do the hoovering of the chocolate crumbs.

As I’ve said, I probably would have dealt with this more severely if this was my kids. But I think that reflects badly on my own parenting, stress levels and expectations at the time.

So you put all the eggs on display, but we're g

Sorry, posted too soon! It's not ideal, but try not to be too controlling or uptight about it. It's done, and nobody died.

I think you have already let it go... but I just wanted to say I loved their sharing!

It’s not really great sharing to split up eggs that they knew, due to previous conversations, had been given to their parents and therefore were not theirs. They weren’t splitting it out to include the parents who’d been given the other eggs.

I think you have already let it go... but I just wanted to say I loved their sharing!

They ‘shared’ things which didn’t belong to them. The eggs in the other room belonged to their parents, as they were well aware.

Get over it. It's Easter 🙄

@Cocomarine yes it’s been let go. It’s been talked out, everyone is at peace and we had a good afternoon in the park. No one is unhappy or without chocolate, and we have an agreed way forward. In a weird way it’s been positive, boiled over a bit, hit pressure valve point then released some of the tiredness and tension in the house. Not the best start, but I think everyone is happier and everyone has had a say in what would make them happy in the next few weeks and what’ll we do to support each other.
We’ve planned a week of activities to break up the next week, and they’ve been really good with chores and kindness for the rest of the day. Everyone had their own reason for a bit of stress or something that was bothering them a bit.

I had a feeling we’d have reached personal insults and swearing at me by now!