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AIBU?

Chid contact - is EOW and half the holidays fair if...

72 replies

OppsUpsSide · 03/04/2021 20:59

One parent works normal office hours and the other parent works term time only?

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

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NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/04/2021 21:00

Am I missing something, what does child contact have to do with the hours the parent works?

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Hankunamatata · 03/04/2021 21:01

I'd be devastated if I could only see my child eow

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OppsUpsSide · 03/04/2021 21:01

Because one is off when the children are off and the other would need to take AL, WFM or fund childcare

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Superstardjs · 03/04/2021 21:02

Why wouldnt it be?

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Superstardjs · 03/04/2021 21:03

So, the office based parent would have to make parenting arrangements?

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BlueEyesWhiteDragon · 03/04/2021 21:04

Is the issue the lack of annual leave for the office worker parent?

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OppsUpsSide · 03/04/2021 21:04

They’d have to make some sort of arrangement to accommodate the school holidays where as the other parent is off then anyway

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YouLikeTheBadOnesToo · 03/04/2021 21:04

It wouldn’t feel fair to me no. I’d be heartbroken to see so little of my child. I’m also not sure it’s really fair on the child either. Only getting to see one of their parents for 2 out of every 14 days, would the child not like a more involved relationship?

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Feelingconfused2020 · 03/04/2021 21:05

Why doesn't the eow parent get time in the week?

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1Morewineplease · 03/04/2021 21:05

Yep, office based parent needs to take annual leave.

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Hankunamatata · 03/04/2021 21:05

If I were term time parent I would want my kids with me rather than in childcare

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LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee · 03/04/2021 21:06

The parent working term time only has chosen to earn less in order to work less, same as the office parent could choose to cut their hours and earn less.
It shouldn’t impact child visitation schedule.

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Hankunamatata · 03/04/2021 21:07

I'd the term time worker eow or the office hours parent?

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1Morewineplease · 03/04/2021 21:07

If EOW is what is agreed as well as half of the school holiday then that's what needs to happen.
Children are not problems.

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Hankunamatata · 03/04/2021 21:07

Is not id

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AnneLovesGilbert · 03/04/2021 21:09

I can see why the term time parent might want more than 50% as that’s presumably one of the reasons they’re term time.

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IggyAce · 03/04/2021 21:10

Well if the parent working term time is doing the majority of the childcare day to day then they deserve some down time when they are off.
Why isn’t the NRP seeing their child more often, the usual bare minimum is EOW and 1 night during the week.

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FeckinCat · 03/04/2021 21:10

The resident parent is fitting their working hours around their parenting responsibilities. The non-resident parent should be doing the same.

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BlueEyesWhiteDragon · 03/04/2021 21:11

I don't think its fair or unfair tbh. It depends on a whole host of other things.

  • how old is child?
  • why isn't Office parent seeing child in the week?
  • is office parent an involved parent or a disney parent.
  • is office parent suggesting more weekend and less holidays? How does term time parent feel about that?


I don't think its unfair in itself to have to parent your child whether that means using all your annual leave, unpaid leave, using childcare etc but context is everything

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NeedaLittleNap · 03/04/2021 21:11

Ideally it would be more about what would be in the children's best interests.

Which parent is arguing it's unfair, and do they want more or less time in the holidays?

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OppsUpsSide · 03/04/2021 21:12

EOW parent is office hours. There isn’t an official agreement in place.
Contact during the week was offered, but one parent wanted the day to change from week to week and the other parent wanted a set day each week so it hasn’t happened yet.

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Lostmyway86 · 03/04/2021 21:13

It's hard to advise unless we know if the EOW parent is the office or term time worker?

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Spanglebangle · 03/04/2021 21:13

I would try and arrange some kind of agreement where the term time parent is used as childcare in the holidays when required. If distance allows it.

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NeedaLittleNap · 03/04/2021 21:14

Plus there are shades of grey round working term time only. TAs take a huge financial hit to work term time only. Teachers need to spend some time in the holidays doing PPA. Being constrained to term time only can be career-limiting.

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Mammyloveswine · 03/04/2021 21:15

Hasn't this just been posted ?

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