School calling children piglets?

[GoToSleepBabyPlease]

Came across this on another thread but felt discussing it there would constitute a derail, so bringing it up here.

On a school website (link below):

'To make table manners fun at Hanford we have devised the ‘Manners Table’, a ranking system of eleven different levels with ‘Piglet’ at the bottom and ‘Royal Guest’ at the top. Each level has a different name to describe the behaviour, for example, a messy eater will be a ‘Panda’ or even ‘Cave Lady’ whereas those girls who have mastered dining rather than merely eating will be a ‘Favourite Auntie’ or ‘Best Granny’. When new girls join they start somewhere in the middle with the aim of working their way up as quickly as possible. If they should become a ‘Royal Guest’ they are allowed to bring their own jam to breakfast. Every Friday after lunch, Miss Morrey reads out the week’s manners rankings. If a girl is moved up then they are given a sweet while others may be warned or some even moved down.

1. Royal Guest (allowed to bring their own jam or other spread and can also move people up and down)
2. Best Granny (allowed to move people up and down in manners)
3. Favourite Aunty
4. Primrose
5. Panda
6. Cat (can go to Tuck Shop on Sunday)
7. Squirrel
8. Hyena
9. Boa Constrictor
10. Cave Lady

10. Piglet'

AIBU to think that referring to children as piglets doesn't exactly model good manners?

hanfordschool.co.uk/wellbeing/manners/

Another bright idea from a clueless, misinformed "think-tank" 🙄

The school traditionally would've been preparing them to be the country lady hosting lunches so is teaching etiquette

Etiquette and (table) manners has nothing to do with being a 'Stepford Wife'

Women lawyers/bankers will need to follow etiquette while at a business lunch. Surgeons/researchers will be networking with colleagues during a lunch break at a conference . Same with many careers or jobs.

Being taught manners and etiquette (at home or reinforced at school) is a blessing and it's disingenuous to tell children that these are 'old fashioned' and should be shunned.

Learning to deliberately turn up dishevelled, stump your feet, display an antagonistic or disruptive stance is not going to do children any favours when they grow up TBH

So I’ve been eyeing this gem of a school up for a while. Incidentally I frequently call the kids cave men if they slip up their manners around the table at home. Seems to be the place for us.

@mustlovegin

The school traditionally would've been preparing them to be the country lady hosting lunches so is teaching etiquette

Etiquette and (table) manners has nothing to do with being a 'Stepford Wife'

Women lawyers/bankers will need to follow etiquette while at a business lunch. Surgeons/researchers will be networking with colleagues during a lunch break at a conference . Same with many careers or jobs.

Being taught manners and etiquette (at home or reinforced at school) is a blessing and it's disingenuous to tell children that these are 'old fashioned' and should be shunned.

Learning to deliberately turn up dishevelled, stump your feet, display an antagonistic or disruptive stance is not going to do children any favours when they grow up TBH

Threads on table manners on MN routinely gather upwards of 500+ response. I simply cannot see the same level of interest in this topic on a male-dominated forum. There is definitely a gendered dimension to this subject and men - provided they’re of a certain background - will get away with murder.

The worst table manners I’ve witnessed were from male; privately educated, Oxford undergrads (the ‘rowing lot’).

@LuellaPilkington

So I’ve been eyeing this gem of a school up for a while. Incidentally I frequently call the kids cave men if they slip up their manners around the table at home. Seems to be the place for us.

Quite possibly. I've never felt the need to use name-calling as a behaviour management strategy (and would find it particularly unsuitable as a method of teaching good manners!), but different strokes for different folks, as they say.

I'm kind of surprised at the overall negativity. I'm not associated with this school, but when I think of particular traditions at schools I attended and worked at they would sound absolutely bonkers written down, especially with any of the ones names by pupils (as this appears to have been).

There are two kinds of school traditions really - all in good fun traditions and quite nasty, humiliating ones (mostly phased out by now but things like being expelled in front of the whole school).

I would definitely think this one would be implemented in the "all in good fun" category. I really don't think that if it was terribly nasty and causing massive unrest that it would be going on still.

How much is it and why would anyone want to send their daughter there when they have a bedroom at home and a school round the corner?

Well quite a few parents are working abroad, armed forces, etc. Not everyone is home based whether permanently/temporary etc.
Agree vast majority of us are able to fit the more usual parenting/schooling scenario so that boarding school is not a necessity.

Oh yes. It’s super serious. I shout Cave Man, very derogatory and make sure they are properly shamed by this. Then stripped them down and hose them off with cold tap water in the garden to make sure they never use their salad fork for their main again.

Seriously. Do you never joke with your kids?!

I'd take all the support I could get in terms of my dc's table manners.
At one point I came up with a song about how to use a knife and fork properly and when tween dc were eating badly would threaten to start singing it. ( I can't sing)
This was a particularly effective threat in public spaces.

Oh I want to go to the Summer School for ladies who loved Malory Towers and St Clare's (though not Whyteleafe, too harsh).
My DD 16 says she wishes she was back in year 3 so she could have gone there instead of her 'very boring' school.

Can I join the summer school. I started out on Malory Towers but moved onto Antonia Forest. I see the ponies as being almost as good as the Ark. If I can have sweets and a cat sleeping on my Welsh blanketed bed I’ll be in heaven.

This is pearl clutching, it really is. Yes, I also went there and we were encouraged to sit together, have conversations and treat each other with respect at meal times. the bottom 3 levels were almost never used and you would have to have been pretty intentionally rude to get there.
Bullying? People dont say this about prefects in other school systems and in a small school like this it would be picked up on fast - and of course you would instantly lose your position higher up the manners scale.
The names have changed a little and it looks like they have naturally evolved, probably with the children s input. And really how anyone can be offended by the idea of someone who has been really rude and treated others poorly over the course if several weeks being labelled as a piglet - I do not understand.
Only on social media are people so outraged and offended by things that dont affect them.

@Pics They do not understand because they compare it to a standard primary school and as we know it’s not really a straight comparison. Because of the fees it’s also more exciting to chat about it. In the last primary school I worked (rated outstanding btw), misbehaved children got to leave the classroom for a time out. Basically sitting in the coat room and face the wall until they had calmed down. If that was 30k/year it would probably be labelled as ghastly on mumsnet.

@Pics 👋🏽 fellow Ex-Hanfordian. Weren't we lucky.....

That is weird as shit.

These girls make their own school skirts in needlework lessons

Well, they're all wearing Boden in the pictures, which you can stick a bit of embroidery on and it will look hotch potchy.

I've never seen so much Boden.

So they should adapt them - thats what every other school does

You can't just adapt a listed Tudor building!!

[quote Puffykins]@Pics 👋🏽 fellow Ex-Hanfordian. Weren't we lucky..... [/quote]
I’m very envious. My DDs would have absolutely loved it too.
Love the idea of no uniform & that they’re all dressed in snuggly fleeces, leggings & wellies. Not sure what the problem is with what they’re wearing @Bishbashbosh101

Oh goodness me! They’re wearing Boden! How dreadful!

I love this school!
Wish I had gone there

Whata strange and alien world this school is. Jolly Japes and special blankets.
How do the alumni cope on the outside world? Do they work in a burger place or have to resort to unsavoury things to fund themselves through Uni?

I boarded from 8 at an all girls’ school. We received a mark out of ten every week for tidiness, and another for courtesy. We learned to be polite to everyone from the headmistress to the kitchen staff and cleaners. We learned to clean up after ourselves to avoid giving others more work. Too many children these days are rude and thoughtless about the staff in their school, and feel that people are there to clear away things behind them. There is a lot to be said for children being taught to be considerate, despite the fact that many people seem to think it’s a human right for their child’s individual needs to trump the needs of those around them.

I did get 4/10 for tidiness through most of my junior years, but wasn’t scarred by it and did improve.

@randomer we generally seem to adjust quite well, I think. I mean, every ex-Hanfordian I know is a fairly functioning member of society, working across a range of professions. Some are artists, some writers, some doctors, vets, lawyers, farmers, musicians, scientists and more. And quite a few send their own daughters to Hanford.

The worst table manners I’ve witnessed were from male; privately educated, Oxford undergrads (the ‘rowing lot’).

Quite possibly but they’d have impeccable table manners when the situation required it. My son has two sets of table manners, those he employs in private and those I drummed into him in public.