to expect to have more disposable income than single mums claiming benefits

[newnails]

i no longer know why me and dh bother, he works full time and i work part time so that i can juggle the child care.

i know of 3 single mums who stay near me who seem to have more money than i can dream of, out every weekend, always shopping and 2 of them manage to run cars.

i know the benefit system is needed by some people but it seems to be a complete joke these days, the wasters in this country are leading the life of reilly while the rest of us are left to slog our guts out to pay for there existence.

no doubt i will get flamed for this post but i have been out xmas shopping today trying to work to a budget then i stand next to these people at the school gates and hear about all the grants they are entitled to so they can buy xmas presents, one of them has even cut back the last 2 months and managed to save £800, it would take me bloody months to save that up.

ok rant over, deep down i am glad i am not one of these people and i do actually work for what i have but it still pisses me of.

Also why do you expect to have more income than single mothers on benefits, single mothers have a bloody hard job bringing up there kids on there own at least you have a dh to help you & at least you both have an oppurtunity to go to work.

what happens if a women is living on her own say she has 3 children under the age of 5, how the hell can she work? where would she put her children? she would have to pay a bloody lot of money for someone or somewhere to care for all 3 of them, what if she can only earn say 10,000 a year it owuld be impossible don't you think?

Exactly my point onlyjoking, we dont know their situations, and the op is making assumptions from what she observes as an outsider.

Sorry to hear about your situation that so

very possible ranting I mena the lst part of your post there....
edam, whilst I am sure there are those people...believe me if I tell you that around here sponging off the state seems to be like a full time job....seems to pay aswell, too...of course I realise that a lot of these people possible have debts they won't be able to repay....etc....and gosh, I am for one don't envy them....and would never want to swap with them....

my mum raised us as a single mum on benefits, and it wasn't a bed of roses, although, thankfully my mum has always been fab at managing money, so, we never went without the important things....

What angers me, personally, the most is that I see my firend struggling, and she is really good with money and all that, and then compare it to others that know how to work the system....those that are in need get less help because of those sponging off it, imo, and that is NOT fair!

tortoise - as a single parent you choose to live on benefits so that you can bring up your children as you didn't have kids to let someone else bring them up? Can you not then see how the OP feels, when many mums who live with the father of their children do NOT have this luxury of choice? In other words, for every person choosing to live on benefits, there is someone else having to go out to work to pay for those benefits.

I'll tell you what pisses me off. The fact that a shelf packer in Tescos pays proportionately more tax than a multi millionaire

I would much rather live with a parter, share the care of my 4 lovely children and do some part time work. But i don't have that choice!!

Am going to say something which will be unpopular...BUT why does someone get to choose to have as many kids as they want/feel entitiled to and live off benefits so they can stay at home with them...while I am only just having no 2 as only now I feel able to support 2 children...but of course my tax is paying for someone else to stay home and look after their 4....
COI I would have LOVED 4 children but would not be able to support them and so stop at 3...the benefits system is to help tos who can't cope/manage like onlyjoking not those who choose not to like having 4 kids when really they could have stopped at 2 !

Hear hear seeker but, you rarely hear people sounding off about that, do you!

oh make that stop at 2 see am dreaming of 3 but know it will never be

are you joking scoobydoo!!!!

of course a family where 2 parents work would expect to have more money than someone on benefits, my dh is in the army and away from home for 6 months at a time, during that period i am in effect a single mum who still has to go out to work. i just have to be very good at juggling, diffrence is that i dont get free places at surestart for childcare or get free babysitters so that i can get a night out.

The working/tax/housing (take your pick) is so unfair...there is no 'choice' nowadays. You have children to perpetuate human existence you know, not because you want to look after them yourself. And if you decide you do want to look after them yourself you either need a really high earning partner, be lumped in with the 'wasters' (of which, yes i do realise there are plenty), or just be thoroughly miserable because can't.

don't think tortoise actually made the choice to be a single Mum inthegutter - her post further down said her ex was abusive and went off leaving her with the children.
In that situation surely a Mum is entitled to say "I have always been a SAHM and that's what my children are used to" I can say right now that if I was in that situation I'd be saying "that's how life is sometimes and for now I have to be at home".

PS

I am a single mother and I tell outrageous lies about wear I got something from and how much it cost, and how much I am spending on my children at Christmas.

Why?

Because I don't want to make the asker feel embarrassed for asking (as they shoudl already feel embarrassed at their own lack of social graces) and I HateHateHate to be thrown a surprise pity party.

So if someone says "How much are you spending on your ds1 at Christmas?"

And I don't know them well enough to give them the honest answer, I will say "Oh about £150".

It's not honest, it's not honorable, and I don#'t give a ####. They should mind their own business unless I know them well enough to tell the truth.

Do you really think single mothers stand around explaining to the world that as they are Poor, they are only spending X? No. They either lie, or use catalogues.

seeker you are wrong - the multmillionare pays much more tax proprotionately (40% vs 21%) this is clear he/she just has that much more left over...the system really hits those who are classed as "high earners" hitting them with very high tax bills (40%) but in the end leaving them less income than some cleverly claiming benefits/disability etc - this I know for a fact.....

Actually 'on benefits' doesn't always mean workshy scum either. I am 'on benefits' in that I get a contribution to my rent and tax credits, yet I work (selling Avon, running a market stall, freelance writing). And before you all start screaming and calling me a dole cheat, I am not: my income is all declared, and I get benefits because it is not high. And I will never own a home again unless there is a horrendous property crash, so like all people in rented accommodation, I'm fully aware that I could be kicked out of my house with about 2 months notice, whatever I do right or wrong and then have all the fun of trying to find somewhere else to live when I'm on housing benefti...

macdoodle...we waited 2 years after we were married to have any children, then 2 came along at once. If we waited until we could afford them, we would be still childless, and time still ticking away...

Wear are these free babysitters, kerrykatona? I am serious, I have never heard of this?

where

macdoodle I'm sure you have as much of a choice to have 4 children and be on benefits as the next person.

inthegutter your comment: 'tortoise - as a single parent you choose to live on benefits so that you can bring up your children as you didn't have kids to let someone else bring them up?' wtf?

im a single mum, i choose to have children, i dont choose to live on benefits, but if i did it would be nobody else business but mine.

But 4 ??? 4 is a big family and hard to support ...if you can't and expect the state (read tax payer) to support them then why not stop at 2...I understand the longing/need/desire to have more and am going to have to go and have my coil put back before I do something stupid and accidentally have 3 before my time is up But I will be sensible much as it hurts because I will have 2 beautiful children that I can support...in other countries you get penalised for having mroe than 2 kids on benefit not just given more and more...our system makes a mockery of its original intention ...to help those in need!

Free babysitters? I have never heard of that. Not that i ever go out!
Theclosetpagan thanks for that. Court had to remove him as he was hitting my DS but thats another story!
DD2 will start school next year. Then i can look to get some sort of work.

newnails, don't

I think you are actually me

the "single" parent across from me has just told me she spends £300 on her (live in) boyfriend at Xmas, I spend a tenner on dh

its a total piss take

and it gives a bad name unfairly to the thousands of single parents who do work and try to live honestly

Sorry but I really cannot buy the "poor high earner" stuff. When I meet a multi-millionaire in some of the appalling housing that families I visit have the misfortune to have been allocated I'll believe you - but not until.

No matter what tax the high earners pay (and some are very clever at avoiding all that they can)they still have access to income that many can only dream of - even if it isn't liquid it will be there in the form of assets to release cash when and where needed.

we are in edinburgh and there is a babysitting service for certain people who want to have a night out or go and do there shopping on there own, i cant remember what it is called but it may also be through surestart. i think its 5 hours you get from them and the latest they can stay is midnight.

possibly i am just jealous, i have a really hard time with dd2 when my dh is away, the local sure start would not even look at us but we found a great private nursery to give me a couple of mornings of when he was away.

cost us a bloody fortune but i ended up getting a job there so alls well that ends well.