Have you and your DH had a proper conversation about this?
He's in a room with crappy acoustics - well, can he move? As for hoovering, that doesn't usually need to be a daily occurrence, make it a shoes-off house or if he hates it that much, he can do it in the evening.
If DH gets a quiet phase he comes and talks at me. Well, tell him you're busy or ask him to help with the job you're doing.
DH is good at wriggling off and getting "alone" time in the house Then do what he does, make up a course you're doing, or start a new hobby of long walks that require him to learn how to do sole charge care of the kids for an hour at a time
I can't just piss off and return to work. DH will return to the office, and does site visits which are less frequent than usual. The DCs are that age of needing a parent avaliable, but not hawklike This is the case for many of us. I also have a child with ASD and childcare was hard in the early years, but many autistic kids, if they're in mainstream school, will be able to handle wraparound care more easily when older or if not, can you look at an after school nanny? There are plenty of us single mums in this position and there are ways to make this work.
It is frustrating because I had made choices of a lifestyle that worked for me and the family and the whole bloody lot got stripped away in 10 days last year dictated to by DH's work or the government giving 13 hours that I'm now wasting my days trying to inflict home learning on very stubborn children. Yes it sucks, but it's frustrating for all of us. And many posters on here were also trying to work full time while also home schooling and having no personal time. Many have lost jobs, or health. It doesn't make your suffering less, there's always someone worse and better off. However overall you're in a privileged position vs the majority of families with young children right now, and you and your DH do have the opportunity to improve your situation, I hope that things can work out.