To be annoyed with MNetters claiming they don’t understand

[youdounderstand]

You know the ones - they understand perfectly well but feign ignorance as a way of showing someone how terribly bizarre and peculiar the way they live is.

I don’t understand why you don’t just get a taxi - oh really, you don’t understand that not everyone can afford a taxi.

i don’t understand why you don’t retrain, as that will benefit your children more. Erm, sure.

i don’t understand why you decided to bottle feed if you wanted to breastfeed yeah course you don’t.

Is it me being a grumpy arse or is ‘I don’t understand’ really fucking annoying?

YANBU its the faux wide eyed head tilt rubbish and it just instantly loses my respect both irl and online.

Honestly I have no issue with people having opinions that I don't agree with. I actually don't mind the odd bitchy comment but nothing more ridiculous than someone who doesn't have the spine to openly state an opinion so attempts to hide behind ignorance.

I suspect they think it is assertive rather than aggressive or possibly endearing and diplomatic. It really isn't.

Hmm perhaps I need more coffee because that was a rant. I stand by it though.

I don’t understand the point of this thread.

I don't understand how you don't realise lots of people live in bubbles where they really don't know how others live. Especially on MN where posters are disproportionately wealthy.

YANBU. I've said this a few times but I've found Mumsnetters in general to be seriously lacking in empathy or understanding for how other people live. It's patronising (and usually classist) bullshit.

@woofwoof1880

I don’t understand the point of this thread.

I second this..

How odd. So odd. Everything is just so odd. Very odd.

nothing more ridiculous than someone who doesn't have the spine to openly state an opinion so attempts to hide behind ignorance

THIS

Hey Yeah. I understand that if we’re talking about extreme poverty or extreme wealth. But ordinary people who just don’t have the luxury for a new carpet at the drop of a hat (say.) Not buying it!

I realise it's a kind of rhetoric meant to imply that something is so ridiculous/obvious/whatever that they just CAN'T UNDERSTAND how anyone could like it or not do it, but that doesn't mean it has the required effect.

I hate it too. People pretending to be thick to make a point just make me wonder if they really are pretending. I understand, for example, that you might not like Christmas Eve boxes or grey walls, but seriously, your mind is too feeble to comprehend WHY others might not feel the same? You truly cannot grasp why someone might like a certain colour or a box of gifts? It is beyond your tiny wit?

Shut up.

You and I are kindred spirits dr

I think it would be more accurate for some to say 'I don't want to understand'. . .

Or people claiming they don't understand the thread when there was a clear explanation by the second post.

Hey Yeah. I understand wink that if we’re talking about extreme poverty or extreme wealth. But ordinary people who just don’t have the luxury for a new carpet at the drop of a hat (say.) Not buying it!

I buy it. Lots of people are genuinely unable to look past their small circle and twig that not everybody lives that way.

There is a problem with trolls and bigots pretending to ask questions when they really just want to rile people up, however. "Is it really wrong to have Golliwogs? Aren't they just dolls?" or "Can we really be feminists if we don't address our misandry?"

Yes, it’s very disingenuous and patronising AF.

I think it’s sometimes a passive aggressive dig

I know someone who would do it in real life so that those around him would reflect, learn their internal biases, and be better people. It made me feel actually violent because I found it very patronising and supercilious.

I think it would be more accurate for some to say 'I don'twant tounderstand'. . .

So true @mbosnz. YANBU OP.

It could be ignorance in some of those examples. For example during the first lockdown there was talk of poor severely disadvantaged kids who didn't have their own laptops.

No awareness at all that a household where every adult and child has their own laptop is actually privileged rather than the alternative being extreme deprivation.

I admit I don't understand alot of the problems I read about on here, when there often seems to be an obvious solution that the op refuses to acknowledge

Perhaps if girls weren't brought up the #bekind, and passive and could actually openly state their opinions this faux miscomprehension would happen less often?

@LostInTime

Perhaps if girls weren't brought up the #bekind, and passive and could actually openly state their opinions this faux miscomprehension would happen less often?

I suspect it would. A lot of this faux naive stuff is just spiteful. I agree with the OP.

See also, when you say that you've experienced xyz on MN, they tell you that either "they've never seen it" (bully for you) or ask you to provide examples.

Case in point - I've been called a "cool wife" on a few threads, and an "infiltrating MRA" on others. I raise this as a point sometimes, to make the point that there is a spectrum of female opinion, and we shouldn't rule out those opinions.

But apparently unless I evidence this to the standard of a criminal court (with naught but the crude tools of MN search), they count it as inadmissible.

Why not just treat it as red that I'm a legit poster relating my experience and debate my actual point, or ignore it?

It's passive aggressive.

I agree, there's so much passive aggressive shit on here and it is very tedious. A lot of posters are incredibly rude and spiteful.

@Jobseeker19

Or people claiming they don't understand the thread when there was a clear explanation by the second post.

Yes, it's really irritating.

So is "confused". FFS you aren't confused.

Or all the people coming on to say nothing other than "what is X?" when it has been clarified numerous times within the thread or you could just, you know, google it.

Especially on MN where posters are disproportionately wealthy

Doubt it has anything to do with wealth. I don't think most MN posters are. Insular doesn't = wealthy.