Page 2 | To be annoyed with MNetters claiming they don’t understand

DrSbaitso · 30/03/2021 11:31

@LostInTime

Perhaps if girls weren't brought up the #bekind, and passive and could actually openly state their opinions this faux miscomprehension would happen less often?

No, the "I don't understand" bollocks is pretty overtly passive aggressive with no pretence of being nice. It's intended to say, "You are so stupid/tasteless/poor/without morals (where morals are held in a seasonal film box or cake-related photo shoot) that I absolutely cannot understand your actions, being so much more intelligent, refined, wealthy and ethical."

Very often, it's used because to state what's actually being looked down on here would reveal the poster's idiocy in all its witless and usually classist glory. It IS ridiculous, for example, to place moral virtue on a Christmas film night box, so they don't come right out and say it; they just try to imply that they are so un-materialistic and spiritual, so much better than the others, that they just CAN'T UNDERSTAND why anyone might enjoy them.

SoupDragon · 30/03/2021 11:32

@youdounderstand

You know the ones - they understand perfectly well but feign ignorance as a way of showing someone how terribly bizarre and peculiar the way they live is.

I don’t understand why you don’t just get a taxi - oh really, you don’t understand that not everyone can afford a taxi.

i don’t understand why you don’t retrain, as that will benefit your children more. Erm, sure.

i don’t understand why you decided to bottle feed if you wanted to breastfeed yeah course you don’t.

Is it me being a grumpy arse or is ‘I don’t understand’ really fucking annoying?

So what you are saying is that you don't understand why they don't understand...

EvilOnion · 30/03/2021 11:33

"I don't know who/what that is..."

Usually said about people, bands, programs or things that are absolutely mainstream to signify how ignorant edgy the poster is 🙄

DrSbaitso · 30/03/2021 11:36

"I don't know who/what that is..."

Or what Google is either, apparently.

BrumBoo · 30/03/2021 11:38

'I dont understand' = 'I'm an over privileged prick, who's never had a real problem in their lives and feel that qualifies me to judge your situation accordingly. Especially if it gives opportunity to stealth brag that I don't have any money or childcare worries ever.'

RandomLondoner · 30/03/2021 11:40

YABU. It's just a figure of speech. They don't expect anyone to believe they don't understand.

B33Fr33 · 30/03/2021 11:41

Ah. The comment Police are Policing the comment Police. I do so love all the experts on what everyone, anywhere can possibly "know" . Take your breastfeeding criticism. I have never bottle fed a child, so I've never decided to do that. So, in all honesty why would I sit here and make assumptions about WHY someone did when I could ask? Let's face it. If someone was honestly looking for advice about sticking with breast feeding then knowing WHY they started bottle feeding would certainly shape the advice.

But then I guess this is a bun fight thread rather than you don't understand.

ClarkeGriffin · 30/03/2021 11:41

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

I don't understand how you don't realise lots of people live in bubbles where they really don't know how others live. Especially on MN where posters are disproportionately wealthy.

Yep this. MN is very good proof that 1. Money cannot buy you brains and 2. A lot of people in high up jobs are dumb as hell and have just been promoted out of danger.

GeidiPrimes · 30/03/2021 11:42

See also "have I missed something?" - I always imagine it said in a voice dripping with fake empathy, possibly accompanied with a head-tilt.

Purplecatshopaholic · 30/03/2021 11:43

This happened to me here recently. I got accused of 'bizarre' thinking over something pretty un-bizarre. I was surprised how pissed off I felt, lol. Defo need to take a chill pill and step away from t'internet!

CentBoppers · 30/03/2021 11:44

Oh and the silly faux pearl clutching/naivety at googling something that several people have advised not to google.

Why do people even do that anyway, knowing full well that people can't resist doing it.

I really hope some of these people don't find themselves in a situation where their search history is subjected to scrutiny "But Officer, some random anonymous poster on social media told me to look at it"

Original poster

youdounderstand · 30/03/2021 11:45

It’s not a bun fight B33Fr33

It’s one seeking validation

OP posts:

grapewine · 30/03/2021 11:47

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

I don't understand how you don't realise lots of people live in bubbles where they really don't know how others live. Especially on MN where posters are disproportionately wealthy.

This.

riotlady · 30/03/2021 11:50

YANBU, I particularly hate it when the OP makes some sort of minor mistake or uses a phrase that mumsnetters don't like, and the rest of the thread is people pretending they don't understand what was meant e.g. OP refers to a younger woman at work as a girl and everyone's like "a GIRL? you employ an actual CHILD? is that legal? etc."

CatsHairEverywhere2 · 30/03/2021 11:50

Not everyone has the same cognitive abilities. If someone is financially comfortable they’re not going to be able to place themselves in the shoes of those that live on the breadline if they’ve never been there themselves. As stupid as we may find their lack of understanding, they genuinely don’t get it.

The same with retraining - I know it’s easy enough to apply to college, I know how to claim student loans and I know damn fine that if I have to retrain I’ll not be entitled to a penny of student finance because I’ve already used it in previous years. But someone who’s never had to retrain might not know the effects on your finances and family life.

People have different experiences and different opinions. You might not understand their lack of understanding, but that places you in the same position as them. Not understanding something you don’t know anything about.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 30/03/2021 11:50

I dont always understand elements of certain posts because sometimes a link is missing and I havent experienced it so dont understand why A -> C. Eg I was on anti depressants so put on weight. I didnt know that ADs can have the effect of you not feeling full.

But I know what you mean about faux not understanding. There have been some spectacular examples over the years.

Original poster

youdounderstand · 30/03/2021 11:54

I don’t believe for a second they don’t understand. I think they like pretending they don’t.

OP posts:

DioneTheDiabolist · 30/03/2021 11:57

I think some posters are getting the wrong end of the stick here. It's not that @youdounderstand doesn't understand the unpleasant, wide eyed "I don't understand" posters. She understands them perfectly. And they are quite annoying.

Pythone · 30/03/2021 12:08

The one that gets me is when the OP's post was for some reason a bit unclear - e.g. if they used fake names but mixed them up at one point - and even though it's obvious what they meant (and they've usually clarified it after the first few replies anyway), you still get people on page 5 piling on with "Still no idea who Tom and Jane are ", seemingly not realising that instead of searingly skewering the OP, they're just making a big deal about the fact that they have no basic reading comprehension skills. It happens so often!

EvilOnion · 30/03/2021 12:11

It's not that they don't understand.

It's that they're passive aggressive wankstains.

AlfonsoTheTerrible · 30/03/2021 12:15

I don't understand what you don't understand, OP.

ClarkeGriffin · 30/03/2021 12:17

@CatsHairEverywhere2

Not everyone has the same cognitive abilities. If someone is financially comfortable they’re not going to be able to place themselves in the shoes of those that live on the breadline if they’ve never been there themselves. As stupid as we may find their lack of understanding, they genuinely don’t get it.

The same with retraining - I know it’s easy enough to apply to college, I know how to claim student loans and I know damn fine that if I have to retrain I’ll not be entitled to a penny of student finance because I’ve already used it in previous years. But someone who’s never had to retrain might not know the effects on your finances and family life.

People have different experiences and different opinions. You might not understand their lack of understanding, but that places you in the same position as them. Not understanding something you don’t know anything about.

Not having had those experiences isn't a reason for not understanding.

I've never been homeless, but I can understand how shit it is and how difficult it is to come back from that.

Ive never had to retrain, but I know it's not an option for many as it's expensive.

It's not difficult to think of different situations and imagine how you would cope in that situation. A lot of people on here seem to lack any imagination or often intelligence at all.

Sparklingbrook · 30/03/2021 12:20

@AlfonsoTheTerrible

I don't understand what you don't understand, OP.

Same here.

WorraLiberty · 30/03/2021 12:23

@LostInTime

Perhaps if girls weren't brought up the #bekind, and passive and could actually openly state their opinions this faux miscomprehension would happen less often?

Nah, it's the internet.

No-one can type you to death for stating your opinion under an anonymous name.

sadpapercourtesan · 30/03/2021 12:23

@ClarkeGriffin bang on

MN has an unfortunate infestation of posters who have shedloads of money and privilege, the concomitant cast iron confidence and self-esteem, and absolutely bugger all intelligence. They express themselves so loudly...and so poorly. Makes my eyes water.