Weird lies you told as a child

[whiskersonkittenss]

In primary school I told people Mark Owen from Take That was my cousin. This was in the height of TT fame and people believed me. Not sure how I got out of bringing him to school to meet everyone

I used to tell my mum her best friend used to bite me n throw me down the stairs (even on days she wasn't there) don't know why I hated her so much.

I told my mum that her best friend stole all the sweets from my party bag whilst she was giving me a lift home with her own DD from a party.

I also told my own Peter Andre obsessed best friend that I’d met Peter Andre whilst on holiday on the Isle of Wight, even though he was currently touring nowhere near the Isle of Wight and Ed both knew it.

I had a pony who lived in my back garden but when my friends came to visit and asked where it was I said it was at the vet’s with laryngitis. (I meant laminitis )

I had a cut out of a fat little pie-bald pony I’d got from a magazine and framed by my bed as further evidence.

I used to tell strangers my name was Davinia
It isn’t

I said we had a butler and I had two big Alsation dogs. We lived in a two up two down terraced so no room or money for a butler or dogs.

I dived off cliffs and regularly saved people from drowning (before I could swim).

So many. I was a strange child.

That I broke a leg in the summer holidays between primary and secondary school.

That I lived in a house with a swimming pool.

That I had a phone in my bedroom (true) but throat it had its own extension number (not true obs)

That my middle name is Louise (I don’t have one)

That I was born in China

*that not throat

I told my teacher that I kept a pet squirrel in a cage in our kitchen.

I told everyone I had 3 brothers and 3 sisters (at the time I had none) and that I had an old English sheepdog.

And that I used to live in Australia and had a pet kangaroo called Joey

These stories are so funny

When I was in infant school, I wrote a story that my mum had re married and pretended her new surname was the same as our school priests name, when the teacher saw my mum, she had believed my story and congratulated my mum on marrying the priest, my poor bewildered mum was happily married to my dad.

I also used to pretend my name was Louise in my teenage years to boys, I just loved that name.

@seensome I used to say Louise was my middle name! I don't even have one 😂

That I was Jewish...kept that one going for ages and have never admitted it since. Fast forward many years and my daughter at the same age (14) starts telling school and every one that listens that she is Jewish!!!!!

That my family were secretly millionaires, but they liked to save rather than spend money... think it was the shame of living in a caravan.

That I was vegetarian - but kept forgetting and scoffing meat at lunchtime.

When I was 9, that I had a 15 year old boyfriend

I’ve always felt really guilty and ashamed about lying as a child. This thread has made me feel a bit more normal, thank you!

@JorisBonson 😂 it is a fantastic name

@Gatekeeper that's quite freaky, I wonder if you do have Jewish roots

That my middle name was really my first name and my first name was actually my middle name
Also my friend used to say he was born in Australia and we all just went along with it even though we knew it was a blag

@whiskersonkittenss was just coming on to say that I told everyone Mel C from the spice girls was my cousin! I even got my mum to say it was true. I was a twat

@Eminybob ahh I used to say my middle name was Jayne. It's not!

That my asthma inhaler had different flavours depending on how many times you turned the canister.. once for apple, twice for raspberry etc. What was better was that they said they could taste the difference and invented their own flavours as they went along too.

I'm so glad I wasn't the only odd child!

My friend used to tell people she was made of wood.

I used to desperately want a horse but my parents would never let me have one, or even take riding lessons because it was too expensive. When I started year 6 I told my teacher I owned a black horse and went riding every day after school, but I nearly died when she mentioned it to my mother at parents evening and found out it was all lies.

My father had a friend at school who was born in America, which he thought was ever so glamorous. He decided to one-up him by saying he was half American because he was born on an aeroplane halfway between the UK and the US. My grandma was completely baffled when the friend's mother stopped her in the street to say what an incredible story it was about her giving birth in the air, because my father was actually born in Basildon.

When I was about 5 for some reason I told a friend I was blind. She walked away and asked my teacher! I felt really embarrassed but when the teacher spoke to me about it instead of saying “I was just joking” I then made a ridiculous attempt at doing a puzzle (putting the pieces in wrong) while the teacher looked at me, probably thinking WTF is she doing ?!

I told my friends that I fancied my cousin when I was about 11. My friends were all claiming to fancy my cousin after meeting him at my mum's 40th birthday party, and so I didn't look like the odd one out I thought the best course of action would be to pretend I did too...

@DodgeRainClouds were you still pretending to be blind whilst doing the puzzle? Proper laughing at that