Weird lies you told as a child

[whiskersonkittenss]

In primary school I told people Mark Owen from Take That was my cousin. This was in the height of TT fame and people believed me. Not sure how I got out of bringing him to school to meet everyone

My best friend and I used to knock on neighbour's doors. We'd have clipboards, paper and pens and tell them we were doing a school project and would they mind answering a few questions.
We'd then ask ridiculous things like what colour knickers did they prefer or when was the last time they burped. We had to keep a straight face and it was amazing how many people would just answer.

[quote berryhead2013]**@JorisBonson* @seensome* I also pretended my middle name was
Louise 😂[/quote]
I went to school with several girls with the middle name Louise. I remember feeling left out that I wasn’t a Louise. I am now starting to wonder if any of them actually did have Louise as their middle name.

@Wendyhause that's actually really sad, yet you're still very harsh towards a little girl with nothing.

In year 6 I claimed to have had a baby in the summer holidays. When I would have been nine.

Louise here....
So many fibs
My grandparents lived in a huge house with secret passages etc etc
We went to New York a lot so the hotel let me have my own room and room service free
....

That we’d gone to the Spanish embassy to queue for visas to for one Tenerife.

So many, I’m mortified about child me even to this day. I wasn’t spoilt but I had no reason to be lacking anything, my parents were very much present, got on well with my siblings and no traumas to trigger anything.

They started small - new doll which did everything an actual baby did (including breathing) which I was forbidden from bringing to school as my parents would be arrested for neglect. I made up some crap about them having to sign a contract with the police when they bought me it.

Then they got a bit bigger - fancy holidays, older siblings (I was the eldest and everyone knew that). I pretended I had an older sister who was 25, I was 9 at the time, and I used to stay with her most weekends in the city nearby where she lived. I told my teacher this too and she was really confused, mainly because she’d gone to school with both of my parents and knew they were only 29. Instead of admitting I’d been busted I continued and said we weren’t real sisters but I had to pretend or my parents said they have to stop me from visiting her. God knows who school thought this random woman was that I’d spend every weekend with under the guise that she was my sister.

This is part of the reason I’d never want to be reunited with my school peers!

One friend from primary pretended to be her French twin sister, she managed a full day!

I apparently told my teachers that my Mum was African (she is) and for some reason led them to believe that she was black. When my white Mum showed up for Parents' Evening they had no idea who she was.

I was about 6 and desperate for a 'baby sister'
I had only one older brother and even at 6 I seemed to know - how i don't know - that there would be no more baby's for my Mum

SO I lied and said to everyone at school - particularly the Dinner Ladies - that my Mum was expecting...one of my little friends told her Mum and sent in a present to school for my new baby .....I couldn't shut it down. Those were the days when we walked to school in the village and no one really ever saw anyones Mum at the school gates....open evenings only. My Mum was a career woman and was a bit removed from my young life and friends who visited met only my Grandmother who lived with us....

I well recall the day.....prob close to the time when my mother would be giving birth - sat in the front seat of the car whilst my Mum pushed the shopping trolley towards the boot....when...I saw the DINNER LADY.....I still to this day felt like i had died inside as I saw from a distance both of them chat......and the deadly silence when my Mum came back to the car :(

NEVER again did i lie...I still shrink 40 + years later

@Gatekeeper

That I was Jewish...kept that one going for ages and have never admitted it since. Fast forward many years and my daughter at the same age (14) starts telling school and every one that listens that she is Jewish!!!!!

Haha! I used to say that & even bought a Mogan David to 'prove' it. Ironically I found out many many years later that my maternal grandfather was Jewish & had hidden it...

I was about 6 and I said I was born in Cornwall (it was actually Stockwell but Cornwall sounded similar but more exotic) and instead of milk I was fed Cornish pasties from birth. When someone said that was a cruel thing to do to a baby I was so indignant I cried.

These are so funny.

My mum likes to remind me of the time I unscrewed the lids on and then tipped all of her nail varnishes on the bedroom carpet and then swore blind it was the dog. I never would admit that it was in fact me. Poor DDog went to the grave getting the blame for that.

I love this thread I've always thought of myself as a right liar because of the weird shit I made up when I was little.

Main ones were that my middle name was Jane, I had a horse - evidenced by a photo of me sitting on a horse on holiday and my dad had blue hair.

Speaking to parents at school the other week and found out my kid has also told everybody about his horse which also does not exist.

At primary school we once made little dishes out of clay (they may have been ashtrays) and before putting them in the kiln we put our initials on the bottom. My initials were H.D.
Not being very artistically talented, mine turned out pretty rubbish, so I tried to claim the much better one by a girl whose initials were D.H. saying that I had deliberately written them backwards.
The teacher did not believe me and I remember being very embarrassed at being caught in the lie.
The sister of D.H. Is now quite famous celebrity and every time I see her on TV, it reminds me of my shame !!!

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel
How is @Wendyhause being harsh? I think you've misread !

As a child, my house was filthy and there was very little food. My dad had a good job and worked hard but my mother wasted the money on clothes/shoes/bags/hobbies etc. The house was crammed like the house of a hoarder with it all.

Anyway, I was invited to another child's party and I was absolutely floored that their house was so clean and that there was nothing on the floor etc.

After this I used to tell lies about what my house looked like, what furniture we had and how clean the whole house was and also how we had a flannel and a toothbrush in the bathroom (these basic things seemed quite wonderful to me as we didn't have them) no wonder the other children looked at me so strangely.

Very sad really looking back.

I remember telling my teacher when I was about 6 that I could play the bagpipes.

When my surname was Williams, the Y6 teacher where I was teaching told his class that I was related to Robbie thinking that they wouldn't believe it for a second. They believed him and used to follow me around when I was on playgrpund duty asking me if I would ask him to visit the school.

[quote GreenWasabi]@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel
How is @Wendyhause being harsh? I think you've misread ![/quote]
I am puzzled too! How was I harsh?

I’ve just read Wendyhause’s comment, I don’t think they sounded harsh towards the girl?

My best friend and I claimed we had children. She had a daughter and I had twins. We based a whole summer around these kids- we were 10! When we were 15 we revived the characters for a loud conversation on the bus where we were trying to convince a gaggle of 19 year old lads that we were old enough to go out with them.

We are still best friends and we do actually now have children. One of hers is named the same as one of our fake children!

@B33Fr33

I can't really remember but my daughter's friend at primary school told me she had an ice rink in her bedroom. she literally went off my daughter for a week when I asked how the floor held up all that water. Though, she's a lot better at lying these days as I understand

Loool I came out with the same crap as a child only I lied further and said my bedroom was on the ground floor

That I'd won a bike in a competition and could play the cello - not too outlandish in the scheme of things, but I'm cringing typing this now!

I used to move around a lot as a child and as a result my accent couldn't decide what to stick with. By year 6 I was fed up with the where you from question. So I told everyone I was born on a planet in outer space, forget the name now. This was back in the day when secondaries had feeder primaries, so of course this followed me to secondary school.
Should also add that the alien story was also proven because at the time my eye colour was still changing, I was double jointed, could write with both hands (born a leftie and wanted to save my hand from the ruler), spent time in and out of hospital and I was a really odd child lol. Even when I used to take mates home, they'd mention something about being an alien and it was just laughed off by the adults.

Fast forward to the creation of facebook and some old friends tracked me down. Turns out the whole school thought I had returned to my home planet when I disappeared overnight never to be seen or heard from again

@Gatekeeper

That I was Jewish...kept that one going for ages and have never admitted it since. Fast forward many years and my daughter at the same age (14) starts telling school and every one that listens that she is Jewish!!!!!

Brilliant 😂 not really a child, I was 19 but I was in the US on a bus when a chap with a bible, about my age, asked if he could talk to me about God. Trying to shut the conversation down I told him I was Jewish, thinking he'd go away. He seemed really happy and said it'd still be great for us to have a chat about our respective faiths. Well I'm not Jewish and don't know enough about it to pretend I am to a stranger so I ended up having to pretend I'd reached my stop and got off the bus miles from where I wanted to be 🤣🤣 fail