To be annoyed and upset over comments over babies’ sex

[chillidoritto]

So I have DD (10) followed by 4 boys aged 4, 2 and one week old twin boys. We kept the sex of the twins a surprise.

Since they arrived I have had so many negative comments. The ones about me “having my hands full” bother me less as having twins as well as other children is bloody hard work.

But so many people have expressed disappointment / negative comments that I have had 2 boys! Countless people have said what a pity one of them wasn’t a girl, a number have said “poor you” and even worse is people saying “poor DD” in front of her!!!! When DD told her teacher the happy news, even the teacher said “oh dear!”.

I know that I am hormonal and extremely exhausted but how could anyone be negative about my beautiful babies?!

People just like to flap their gums. If you had all girls and one older boy they’d be the same.

It’s nothing personal against your babies; it’s just something people say. You’re taking it way too personally.

Congratulations on your new babies OP!

YANBU, that is such a disgraceful thing to say, especially to someone who has just given birth or to the babies’ sibling, who I imagine is happy they’ve finally arrived.

Ignore ignore ignore, even if it’s hard. Or even better, both you and your daughter can reply with ‘oh don’t worry, this is just what we were hoping for’. It’s a shame people react like this when all that matters is that you and the babies are (hopefully) okay and that the family is excited about the new additions.

@emilyfrost

It’s nothing personal against your babies; it’s just something people say. You’re taking it way too personally.

People shouldn’t say it though. Have they asked themselves how that comment makes the mother feel? Who cares what sex the babies are? Pretty sure their mum doesn’t much.

It's just poor social skills - people just want to say something for the sake of conversation and don't really think it through i reckon. I have two boys and everyone assumes I am disappointed with this and/or will be trying for a girl, when in fact I'm perfectly happy and they are fab!

I'm 35 weeks and I'm getting so pissed with people's obsession with my babies genitals now. Were not finding out because we don't care and don't want inundating with gendered crap.

Just keep saying you didn't have a preference and you all love your little boys, wouldn't change them for the world.

Once you become pregnant for the first time a whole world of stupid shit that people will say opens up! I couldn’t believe how people would all trot out the same bullshit phrases and how intrusive those phrases tended to be. As pp said, this is nothing to do with your beautiful children, but I don’t blame you for feeling frustrated. Congratulations on your babies

@emilyfrost

It’s nothing personal against your babies; it’s just something people say. You’re taking it way too personally.

Of course it’s personal! Why do people say it? Because they’re inconsiderate twats that’s why.

I have boys and the amount of times I’ve been asked if I’m going to ‘try for a girl’. Fuck off.

Congratulations on your lovely babies OP.

Congratulations on your newborn sons! How lovely!

People do say some ridiculous things. It’s hard to ignore when those things are hurtful, isn’t it? I assume they’re imagining themselves in your situation and picturing how they think they would feel. Says a lot about them really. I would love to have newborn twin sons (if I were 20 years younger)!

The thing is we are all delighted (as we would have been if we’d have had girls or boy/girl).

DD said that she secretly wanted 2 boys anyway. I just can’t believe people say such stupid things or even care so much about the sex ratio in other people’s families!

I'd just get really sarcastic with my answers. Tell them you've already listed one of the twins up for swaps online 😂😂😂 or that your daughter is hoping you'll have one more boy so she can fulfil her dream of managing a 5 aside soccer team 🙈🙈

People are truly fucking dense. Ignore them. I’d love a house full of boys. And how lucky for them to have a big sister.

@Goleor

I'd just get really sarcastic with my answers. Tell them you've already listed one of the twins up for swaps online 😂😂😂 or that your daughter is hoping you'll have one more boy so she can fulfil her dream of managing a 5 aside soccer team 🙈🙈

Funnily enough she said we should have one more boy to make a football team 😂 But then added that we better not as I’d probably have triplet boys!!!

Son 1 was born in 75. Son 2 in 78. A number of people said, "Another boy? Never mind." Given the choice, I would have had another boy. Back then we didn't know what a baby would be till it was born. No scans etc.. People stupidly assume you want one of each.
Ignore them or say, "We are all delighted to have boys."

Or you could tell them they're being ridiculous. Or even more impolitely than that.

Enjoy your family and sod the nay-sayers.

People are weird and obsessed with the sex of other peoples babies. I’m 13 weeks and have told close family members and every single one has asked straight away if we will find out the sex. It annoys me more than it should. Congratulations on your new babies

People can be really weird about boys and often negative. Especially if they have girls or don’t have kids yet....
Twins is double the blessing so try to ignore any stupid comments

People are weird about it, I had a girl then a boy, then another boy, then another girl, and people always told me how perfect it was and how lucky I am! Whereas a friend with 3 boys always gets “oh what a shame” comments

Sounds like jealousy.

My DS is 6 weeks , my DM 4th grandson

When we announced we were having a boy , all we used to receive , from fairly the older generation was "your mother would of loved to have had a granddaughter"
Or "it's a shame you're having a boy & not a girl"

Often , I used to get asked if I was happy I was having a boy
My response - " healthy is all I want "

People are arses

Congratulations OP

A lot of people don´t engage brain before opening mouth, and it is very true around pregnancy. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

It would piss me off as well. When I found out my second was going to be a girl at the 20 week scan someone said to me 'oh shit, you must be gutted'. After finding out we were having a healthy baby! And two others told me they didn't want two daughters so after their first was a girl they had 'tried extra hard' for the second to be a boy.

Its just a shit thing to say, to imply that there is something wrong with your child because they do / don't have a penis, like this is going to be the predominant factor in everything in their life, including your relationship with them. I think it also perpetuates gender stereotypes

It's annoying isn't it. When I was pregnant with my second boy someone said to me that they could have possibly coped with 2 boys and she felt sorry for me 🙄

Couldn't sorry

Gosh people are tactless. Congratulations OP, that’s wonderful! Also, I’m really pleased you posted as I read a thread of yours about having a CS with the twins and wondered how it had all gone but couldn’t find the thread again.😂

YANBU. Congratulations on your beautiful babies. 💐