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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think i can cut my finger nails in my own sitting room if i want to

65 replies

thatwasme22 · 29/03/2021 13:36

I am living in a house share and there is 1 girl who 'moved' her bf in unofficially-well he is not part of the share but bes around a lot regardless and never pays bills etc. TBH I don't really care as I am not there much myself with long work hours.

Anyway I was sitting watching tv last night in living room and he appears. And I start cutting my fingernails-ok I was being unreasonable doing it there but he kicked off and told me off. This thread is not about me cutting my fingernails as I am expected to get roasted for that but it's more he doesn't have the right to tell me off in my own house I am paying rent for when he isn't. I wouldn't dare dream of entering somebody's house and give bout to them for picking their nose, eating loudly or breaking wind because it is THEIR house or a house they are paying rent for.

I didn't say anything but surely you don't dictate to people what they do in their own houses or houses they rent in if you are just a mere guest.

OP posts:
Titterofwit · 29/03/2021 13:39

YANBU - but you should have told him to get to fuck and keep his opinions to himself.

Hotcuppatea · 29/03/2021 13:40

How often is he actually staying there?

Also YABU for cutting your nails in there. He wasn't unreasonable to tell you so.

TwunchOfBats · 29/03/2021 13:41

"When you pay rent, you'll get a vote"

Original poster
thatwasme22 · 29/03/2021 13:42

He bes there all the time, the gf has being there the longest and thinks she owns the house and has had conflict with other tenants over her trying to take over so is a bit of a tyrant.

OP posts:
HeyDuggeesCakeBadge · 29/03/2021 13:42

Of course YANBU for cutting your fingernails in your own house. Unless there is a drip feed where you were throwing them at his face? He can fuck off. I would be having words with your actual housemate and saying that you don't want him there as much.

NotATomato · 29/03/2021 13:42

Why didn’t you tell him as it’s your house you can do what the fuck you like.

DeeCeeCherry · 29/03/2021 13:43

So why didn't you say anything? Are you scared?

At the very least, report him to the Landlord.

I'm baffled as to why you pay rent and don't even care that the other tenant is taking the piss and her man has free housing, free use of amenities.

LST · 29/03/2021 13:45

I cut my finger nails in the living room. Is that taboo?!

He is being unreasonable regardless and you should have told him to do one!

Original poster
thatwasme22 · 29/03/2021 13:46

''So why didn't you say anything? Are you scared?

At the very least, report him to the Landlord.

I'm baffled as to why you pay rent and don't even care that the other tenant is taking the piss and her man has free housing, free use of amenities.''

The gf then would throw a wobbly and I cannot be bothered to go there, I am planning to move soon anyway.

OP posts:
pastabest · 29/03/2021 13:47

Your landlord didn't need to get involved recently did they? Grin

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4192879-Houseshare-problems-tenants-new-boyfriend-refuses-to-leave?msgid=105588466

Original poster
thatwasme22 · 29/03/2021 13:49

''I cut my finger nails in the living room. Is that taboo?!''

No and I agree with you but I tried to clear myself because ime too many of these threads turn into a pile on and people focus on something not related to the actual point. So I was just putting that out before I had a million posts on why cutting nails is for the bathroom.

OP posts:
captainpantbeard · 29/03/2021 14:05

Oh god this has reminded me when one of my housemate's boyfriends started treating our house like he lived there. He was utterly vile, I've never disliked someone so intensely. He also abused her emotionally, financially and was very controlling. It all came to a head and we banned him from the house and then they split up fortunately. This was over 20 years ago but I still feel the repulsion.

I also cut my fingernails in the living room so on all counts YANBU!

Mummaofboys93 · 29/03/2021 14:11

[quote pastabest]Your landlord didn't need to get involved recently did they? Grin

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4192879-Houseshare-problems-tenants-new-boyfriend-refuses-to-leave?msgid=105588466[/quote]
This is what I thought! 😂

Northofsomewhere · 29/03/2021 14:12

I think YABU for cutting your nails in their, what's wrong with your bedroom or the bathroom over the bin? I also don't think he was unreasonable to bring it up, it's not the usual situation where he's simply a guest (he's a guest but also someone's partner who also lives there), I wouldn't do it in a friend's house but might mention it to a partner (not you).

I agreed he shouldn't be telling you what to do generally, he's nothing to do with you but I do think cutting your nails in a shared space (other than the bathroom) isn't nice although I'm generally put off by this kinda thing so might be a bit bias.

Out of interest (it sounds like you don't like him as well as the situation where he's kind of moved in) did you cut your nails there in that moment to cause a reaction?

You clearly need to have a word with all your housemates and agree to house rules regarding anyone staying over unless they're already in your tenancy agreement. I also think you should reconsider where you cut your nails, but like I said I'm a bit funny about that kinda of thing.

Original poster
thatwasme22 · 29/03/2021 14:15

''Out of interest (it sounds like you don't like him as well as the situation where he's kind of moved in) did you cut your nails there in that moment to cause a reaction?''

eh no I was about to do it before he arrived, I never thought for a second he'd challenge me.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 29/03/2021 14:15

I can see why you didn't tell him to fuck off but maybe you need to! Especially if you plan to move our soon. Just tell him, and her, where to get off!

It's your home too! And cutting fingernals isn't contagious, ffs!

SVRT19674 · 29/03/2021 14:17

I do that, but when no one else is there. It is something that gives people the ick, and you can´t help it, rent paying or not. I remember once I was queueing at the Inland Revenue and the guy in front started to clip his nails, wanted to hit him...

LittleGwyneth · 29/03/2021 14:22

Your finger nails are in the living room whether they're attached to your hands or not... As long as you were putting them on a tissue or something and then in the bin, then I don't think there's anything wrong with it. But as you say, even if you were doing something disgusting, it's none of his business. If he doesn't like it, he should go elsewhere.

cooldarkroom · 29/03/2021 14:32

I would have said something like, "Do you pay rent here ? No, so Fuck off"

FuckyouCovid21 · 29/03/2021 14:35

@cooldarkroom

I would have said something like, "Do you pay rent here ? No, so Fuck off"
Exactly this
honeylulu · 29/03/2021 14:42

I cut my nails in the living room, bedroom, wherever I like. I do it over a bin so nothing left lying around. Your nails when still attached are touching furniture, door knob, remote etc. They don't suddenly multiply in bacteria in the process of being removed. He's being stupid.

As for "telling you off ", I'd have told the freeloading cocklodger to get to fuck!

starfishmummy · 29/03/2021 15:07

If they were pinging to all corners of the room lr landing in his cuppa then probably yabu.

But as he doesnt live there he doesnt get to tell you off.

BashfulClam · 29/03/2021 15:19

YABU for not saying anything even if it means his gobby girlfriend has a go. That’s probably the best time to raise the fact that he is there too often and should be paying rent and bills!

80sMum · 29/03/2021 15:27

I think it's absolutely fine for people to cut their finger nails, cut their toe nails, pick their noses, scratch their arses, pick their teeth and so on in their own living rooms.
But those are not normally something that most people would do in front of a guest.

So, you were being a bit unreasonable, I think.

littlepattilou · 29/03/2021 15:30

YABU ... People cutting their fingernails OR toenails in ANYwhere but the bathroom (or their OWN bedroom) is minging, and super-irritating.

I would have told you stop too. He is a guest, and chopping your nails in front of him was a bit urgh...

@thatwasme22 You did ask.............