annoyed or flattered- wolf whistles?

[Nothingyet]

Today's report gets the usual DM reactionary backlash:www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9411429/Scotland-Yard-chief-urges-women-feel-uncomfortable-wolf-whistling-report-incidents.html#comments

Mostly happened between the ages of 12-14 to me. I would be in school uniform at that. Shouted out to be invited to a party by men in their late 20s. I was about 14. I didn't find it flattering.
Someone touching my bum as I got on a bus at 12/13- I told him do it again and see what happens. Some guy touching my leg on the bus at 14/15, same message given. Some men are dirty little pervs.

I can remember the sheer horror I felt having to walk past building sites when I was younger, because of the animals working there ogling, wolf whistling, I dont think there is any thing remotely flattering, the only time I'd let it fly is if it was my husband at home!

I'm late 50s and last week I was walking past a group of lads , probably mid 20s , one shouted out my mate fancies you will you go on a date with him? I wonder why I was a candidate for that whilst the younger woman ahead of me didn't

Really couldn't get worked up one way or another.

Mum always said to just ignore them and I do.

🤷‍♀️

Or rather did 😂👵🏼

You’d have to have disturbingly low self esteem to find this flattering. Which they know, of course.

@goose1964

its another way to try and humiliate you

although I must admit the last time I had that one I said come on then , lets see if you’re man enough for a real woman, they were a little taken aback

I do not agree that wolf whistling is a practice which many, if any MC men involve themselves with. It is a hallmark of WC misogyny only beyond the age of about twenty or so.

This is right - it is a WC practice.

That’s not to say that the full class spectrum of men don’t engage in misogynistic practices, or that MC men don’t have their own specialities.

To be honest though.

I haven't heard a whistle for years. I mean in general not at me! In the 80s it was usually shouting or a car horn.

Does this still happen in real life? Reminds me of a carry on film!

Maybe whistling is always the thing on the papers etc because the slant is usually 'women making a fuss' and whistling sounds more harmless than other stuff. That's my guess anyway.

And actually one site on the way to school when I was about 14. Not a busy area and they were there for months. When I went past they would all go silent and stop what they were doing and just watch me. Approach. Walk past. People always mock when women say they can feel eyes on them from the back but I could. Maybe cos they were still silent.

I find it utterly terrifying.

And really if you say 'they watched me' it doesn't sound much does it. There's no harm in it. Can't people look etc.

It's often hard for women and girls to get this across in a way that reflects how it feels. Maybe we need better language for this? People would still dismiss it and minimise it though probably.

Haven’t been wolf-whistled for years (decades!). I remember the last time, I felt amused, as it was done in a banter-ish style. It wasn’t humiliating, just a bit of fun.

However, I can know other wolf-whistle can be lewd and offensive.

Haven’t really heard anyone wolf-whistle for years.

Surely all women realise by now that wolf whistling and catcalling are emphatically not performed as “compliments”?They are a power play, designed to embarrass and intimidate

Don't agree with this. I got them all the time when I was young, slim and pretty, don't get any now I'm older. Don't miss it at all.

I used to describe them as ‘meerkats’.

One would down tools and pop up to stare at you, and that would signal to all the others to down tools and pop up, too.

Exactly - a group of men just looking at you? What’s scary about that?

But it is. And men just don’t do not get how we feel, how it makes us feel. I hated it.

can't remember 🤣🤣🤣

I would be astonished if it happened now as I'm 50+ and thankfully now invisible to this kind of man.
When I was younger I hated it, I lived with my sister in North Finchley in the late 90's, the walk to the tube station was torture as invariably traffic was at a standstill and men, mostly in vans, seemed to think they could yell all sorts of personal remarks out the window.

[quote ZednotZee]@SplendidSuns1000

Do you mean that to imply genuine pity or simply superciliousness?

Its difficult to tell without the context of tone.[/quote]
I don't need to imply my superiority to those who support or like sexual assault and/or harassment.

It doesn't bother me

Wolf whistling is a deliberate micro aggression.

@SplendidSuns1000

You find yourself superior because you have been fortunate enough to have better life experiences and consequently your self esteem isn't in tatters on the floor?

OK then, I'll leave you to it as you clearly aren't the type of person I usually choose to give any of my time to.

[quote ZednotZee]@SplendidSuns1000

You find yourself superior because you have been fortunate enough to have better life experiences and consequently your self esteem isn't in tatters on the floor?

OK then, I'll leave you to it as you clearly aren't the type of person I usually choose to give any of my time to.[/quote]
Better life experiences? Ha.

I'm superior to those who support sexual assault and harassment. It's not difficult for even you to understand that.

I never took any of it as a 'compliment'. It didn't even cross my mind to do so. It always felt intrusive and jarring. And often made me feel really uncomfortable.

Like I said earlier it just occurred to me that wolf whistling always comes up on these threads and in the news but I haven't heard it for years. Even when I was a girl it was beeping/ shouting etc.

Does anyone live in a part of the country where it's actually a thing that happens enough for it to be the thing that always gets discussed?

If so I stand corrected. But if not, it can only be because it sounds trivial. Whereas shouting, following, driving alongside, beeping and then doing whatever if you react, sound a bit worse.

What do you all think?

I think there's two reasons men do this

They like to unsettle/ scare/ embarrass women/ girls
They are with their mates and it's some kind of male bonding and they aren't giving even half a seconds thought to the woman/ girl it's aimed at.

When I'm going about the place minding my own business, thinking about whatever, being on my own. I don't enjoy being interrupted by some total random indicating he'd like to fuck me. Which is what it boils down to. And rather than thinking it in their head they think it's ok to let you know this. On the street. And some of them, if you don't react, can get arsey and aggressive. You never know which ones of course so that makes it scary.

It's also scary if you're in a fairly deserted place, or there's a group of them, or you're just really fucking young.

I understand that some women like it. That's up to them. I do wonder where they grew up/ what it was like though. Where their line is.

There was a lot of this sort of thing when I grew up and I saw it all the same. Whether it was obscene or not, threatening or not etc. Because I just wanted to be left alone.

For the ones who enjoy it do you think that it would be a shame if it stopped and which behaviours are we talking about?

I remember random blokes trying to talk to me on the street when I was about 12 up. When you're young you are just less able to deal with it. To know how to get away etc. I think that's why they go for the young ones tbh.

If a girl has low self esteem, then bolstering it with 'compliments' from blokes on the street is a recipe for disaster.