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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel jealous of friend?

80 replies

Saddddddddddddddd · 28/03/2021 16:24

Friend and I have both been working temporary jobs for the past year. She has just got a job which I also applied for and starts in 2 weeks.
She didn't originally tell me she was applying for the job but was messaging me a couple of days before that she has no experience in this or that and do I know the procedures.
I told her just in general, not realising she was going for the same job as me (which she knew I was applying for.).

Anyway she messaged me after the interview saying she got the job and can't believe it but she is happy and also that she exaggorated on some of her answers so is worried she won't be able to do her job.

She went for an introductory day the other day and said she has a lot to do and is thrown in the deep end.

She keeps messaging me how she is loving that she can relax for the next 2 weeks before the chaos begins, how she doesn't understand any of the forms the company have given her, and then randomly messages me about how lucky she is.

I know I shouldn't feel jealous but I can't help it and I feel so frustrated :( any tips on how to stop this feeling?

OP posts:
Original poster
Saddddddddddddddd · 28/03/2021 16:27

And i'm not saying I would have got the job anyway and I know I should be happy for her but i cant help it :(

OP posts:
Scarydinosaurs · 28/03/2021 16:32

Oh gosh that’s so hard. Hopefully in time you’ll feel less jealous- probably when your situation changes for you. It isn’t easy to hear someone complaining about not knowing what they’re doing when you feel as if you could be the one in that role.

shiningstar2 · 28/03/2021 16:32

Totally understandable under the circumstances op Flowers Don't let it make you sad. Hopefully something even better will be around the corner for you soon Smile

HollowTalk · 28/03/2021 16:34

Well I wouldn't be thinking of her as a friend, tbh. She used you for information, didn't she?

Somatronic · 28/03/2021 16:34

She doesn't sound like much of a friend.

Doyoumindfisithere · 28/03/2021 16:36

I don't think she is a friend, I would drop her gently tbh.

If hse had been open and sensitive about this then I would advise you to get over it but she was sneaky and is now gloating.

Sorry, not nice for you Flowers

ElleDubloo · 28/03/2021 16:37

“also that she exaggorated on some of her answers so is worried she won't be able to do her job.”

I’d be tempted to screenshot those messages and send them to her new boss. But then I’m not perfect.

justanotherneighinparadise · 28/03/2021 16:37

I’d ignore her bloody messages and feel much better immediately.

purpleme12 · 28/03/2021 16:38

I would say she was wrong to keep it from you that she was applying too (when she knew you had)
Never mind that she exaggerated stuff to get in and is telling you that too!
I would say you should be more annoyed at her about that than jealous

user1493413286 · 28/03/2021 16:38

She’s not very nice is she? Fair enough going for the same job but to use you for info for the interview then rub it in your face afterwards is mean

Leeds2 · 28/03/2021 16:39

It doesn't sound to me that she will enjoy the job once she has started, given she has exaggerated what she can do. Just make sure that you aren't in the position of answering regular calls from her as she asks you how to do various things.

katy1213 · 28/03/2021 16:41

If she's in over her neck, don't feel obliged to help her out!

Original poster
Saddddddddddddddd · 28/03/2021 16:41

I think that's the problem! I'm use to temporary so if someone else got the job, i'd accept it and even if she got it but we both knew, i'd feel fine. There'd probably be natural jealousy but not this much frustration.
I think my tipping point was her messaging today saying
"How's your weekend? Loving Easter. Going to relax before the chaos of the job starts. I'm so lucky though"
And I saw it and never replied. It's been like this for days now - constant messages about how nice her team were on the introductory day but how there's a lot to do and she's in charge of this and that

OP posts:
Original poster
Saddddddddddddddd · 28/03/2021 16:43

@Leeds2 the messages of asking for help have already started.
I've been subtly ignoring the
"I don't understand any of this"

OP posts:
Tooshytoshine · 28/03/2021 16:44

Ugh.

I think you deserve better friends. She is obviously allowed to apply for similar or the same roles, but she was sneaky, used your knowledge and then gloated about lying in the interview. She lacks anything even approaching integrity. She's a sociable sociopath and best avoided.

Easterbunnygettingready · 28/03/2021 16:44

Back away. Or basically she will have you mentally doing her job while she takes the wage!!

Leeds2 · 28/03/2021 16:44

Carry on ignoring!!

Doyoumindfisithere · 28/03/2021 16:46

You absolutely need to ignore. If you want to reply say 'yeah, sounds like you have plenty to get your head round' or similar - do not help her!

She is making me quite cross!

PanamaPattie · 28/03/2021 16:47

Is she called Debbie by any chance?

Original poster
Saddddddddddddddd · 28/03/2021 16:48

@PanamaPattie who's Debbie? Is that a joke?

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 28/03/2021 16:49

Yeah you need to go low contact for a while.

But when you do have to respond, say little but fake being in a great mood. For example, answer very little but 😂😂😂😂😂 and that sort of thing.

Or stuff like "Fake it Till U Make it, lol! 😉😂" and that sort of bland hun bollocks.

VettiyaIruken · 28/03/2021 16:49

When she comes to you for help (and she will) I wouldn't help her out.
She was very sly. She used you.

In fact, I'm so petty I'd give her duff info.

Garlia · 28/03/2021 16:52

[quote Saddddddddddddddd]@PanamaPattie who's Debbie? Is that a joke?[/quote]
Another thread!

PanamaPattie · 28/03/2021 16:53

@Saddddddddddddddd - there is another thread where someone called Debbie "stole" a job from her friend. Debbie read the application form and applied for the job even though she isn't qualified.

steff13 · 28/03/2021 16:54

@PanamaPattie

Is she called Debbie by any chance?
I thought about that thread too.