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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find weekly zoom call too much

70 replies

KCpip · 28/03/2021 14:52

My husband’s family started a weekly zoom call during the first lockdown. It has continued from there. AIBU to find weekly a bit much? I only talk to my own parents every 3-4 weeks. There’s so little to talk about at the moment and once a week feels like loads but wondering if this is what everyone else is up to as well?

OP posts:
AcornAutumn · 28/03/2021 14:54

I don't do Zoom for friends or family

It would drive me nuts.

PandaFluff · 28/03/2021 14:57

Most my family have given up on weekly zoom calls. No one was getting much out of them. We do once a month ish but smaller groups. Having everyone in one call was just a nightmare.

TakeYourFinalPosition · 28/03/2021 14:57

I couldn’t cope with once a week... we did it for far too long in lockdown one; but thankfully managed to shift it to once every fortnight or so after that. Husband felt the same...

The in-laws would happily go back to once a week, I think, but they’ve settled into this now and I’m glad we managed to move it without upsetting anyone.

With friends, it’s gone from every three or four weeks to every four or five.

I suspect all Zoom calls will end shortly, when people can meet outside instead...

Tinydinosaur · 28/03/2021 14:58

Same. I'm sick of bloody seeing them. Can't wait for restrictions to ease so I can STOP seeing them so often.

Laureline · 28/03/2021 15:00

I do a weekly call with my family - and I enjoy it - but I don’t expect my husband to participate, that would be overbearing.

UCOinaUCG · 28/03/2021 15:00

My DH has a weekly zoom call with his DF who is in a care home. His DB and DS join in but I do no more than wander past and say hi sometimes. I call my DM about twice a week and talk about nothing at all but we are both good at doing that!

Horsemad · 28/03/2021 15:01

I have done precisely 3 zoom calls in the whole time! Can't really be doing with them.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 28/03/2021 15:01

Many families talk 1-1 or small groups a few times a week. A weekly call is a normal frequency.
If you are meaning a massive group call, I can see it be overwhelming.

LittleOwl153 · 28/03/2021 15:02

Find something to do during them so you are not there? Or do them during something so for example.over dinner? But no weekly zoom with anyone you don't have loads to say to is dull and a waste of time!

AfterSchoolWorry · 28/03/2021 15:02

If he's ok with it, it wouldn't bother me.

But I wouldn't love it myself.

PaquitaVariation · 28/03/2021 15:03

I speak to my mum and sister most days in a Group FaceTime for a few minutes, we don’t have much to say but it’s nice to just see each other, it’s hardly a chore.

poppycat10 · 28/03/2021 15:03

If it's DH's family can't you just wave and say hi at the beginning and then go off and do something else while he talks to his family?

GintyMcGinty · 28/03/2021 15:05

We only do zoom about once a month now and we keep it to 45 mins. And I don't expect my husband to join in ones with my family. Once a week would be far too much.

katy1213 · 28/03/2021 15:07

Leave them to get on with it, but joining in is not compulsory!

mammmamia · 28/03/2021 15:14

My DH started this with his parents and sisters family twice a week during the first lockdown... we all get on and the PILS were quite lonely so fine but it’s eased off now. We did it a bit with my parents too but not as often.

What helped was:
Do it while you’re eating dinner. Then it feels a bit more natural as if you were having a meal together and also doesn’t waste time as you’re eating at the same time.
We have DC same age as SIL and the kids usually spend a lot of time together so sometimes we’d all say hi at the beginning then leave the DC to chat and play an online game together - MIL loves to watch them.
A few times we have all arranged to watch the same film. Stick the zoom call on so we can all see each other and watch the film. Pause half way for snacks and quick chat. Everyone happy.

MuthaFunka61 · 28/03/2021 15:26

I meet my son and partner weekly for a shared film or series watch party. We all enjoy it or at least I think we do Confused

CuthbertDibbleandGrubb · 28/03/2021 15:48

We have one, but I have family abroad so can update them on the latest lies or idle speculation Boris Johnson is propagating and the vaccine progress.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 28/03/2021 15:50

Why do you need to join in?

I FaceTime my mum twice a week but DH doesn't participate - why would he?

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 28/03/2021 15:52

Depends - is the call supporting isolated family members?
Seems reasonable to have one, but on a drop in sort of basis rather than compulsory attendance?

Scarby9 · 28/03/2021 15:57

I have had a daily Skype call with my parents since the start of lockdown. It is too much, but I don't know how to stop it now in a gentle way. I know how much they look forward to them.
I really have no news for them. I've worked and had tea. That's it.

ElderMillennial · 28/03/2021 16:10

Let him talk to them. You can pop on to say hi and then do your own thing.

Aimee1987 · 28/03/2021 16:13

I do with mum but DS is 15 months so I do it on the TV when DS is playing so she can see and chat to him.
For adults yeah once a week when you have nothing to talk about is a bit much.

midsomermurderess · 28/03/2021 16:18

We do this for work, our little team. We'd go ages before lockdown when we were not all in together. I find it intense and claustrophobic. I'd feel the same with family.

SauvignonBlanche · 28/03/2021 16:20

We’ve done a family Zoom chat for the last year with my 4 siblings, none of the spouses join in it’s just us and the DNs drop in and out as they please.

It’s good to keep in touch with the teeny DNs plus those who have moved away.

Spouses wave occasionally, DH used to engage with it but hasn’t joined in for months - I prefer it that way. Smile

Love51 · 28/03/2021 16:20

I could hang out with my friends talking shite for hours, but on zoom I'm 45 minute and done for the month. It feels like a work meeting mainly because everything you say has to be addressed to the whole group, and you are aware that you and A could get into a topic at length that bores everyone else, and that C and D are going to go on about their pet topic, and you've already heard your spouse's new anecdote on the family zoom and the siblings zoom, and can now tell it better than him...
Go to the other room to read a book / watch TV / bake bread / do yoga or other lockdown cliche. It's fine.