To think kids get harder not easier?

[Draineddraineddrained]

Absolutely loved the baby and toddler stage with my DD1, even though she was VERY hard work (CMPA, clingy AF, non-sleeper).

My girl is now 4 and OH MY GOD. Every day is tantrums, demands, rudeness, crying over nothing. The sweet, funny, interesting little toddler I had pre-lockdown has transformed into a person I honestly dread getting up in the morning because it's never more than 5 minutes before she's doing something I have to pull her up on or screaming the house down over some total triviality like the colour of her tights 🤦‍♀️

I'm well aware 4 is meant to be a really fun age 😔 someone tell me where I've gone wrong!

I'm well aware 4 is meant to be a really fun age

Nah, it's called the 'fucking fours' for a reason...

Different children seem to have their 'challenging' periods at slightly different ages, but you should expect frequent periods of hell between 2 and 5.

It does get much better with most children once they are at school - although then you do get end-of-term-over-tiredness-hell to deal with. But by 5+ they do become lovely a lot of the time.

Nope, not for me. I found the newborn and little baby stage really really hard. Less hard with the second but my god the first nearly did me in (non sleeper, reflux, awful birth, you get the gist). Second was a dream baby but I had a toddler to juggle too then so it was hard in other ways.

They're two and five now and I love it! No more carting around bags and bags of stuff just to leave the house, no more pushchairs, almost no more nappies, no more having to rock them to sleep for hours or being up all night with them. Time to be able to read a book or exercise by myself again sometimes now the eldest is at school. They're fab together, truly interesting little people with real personalities and I love spending time with them. I miss the eldest when she's at school.

I'd take this stage ten times over the newborn and baby stage! You couldn't pay me any amount of money to be pregnant or have a newborn again.

Obviously I have yet to get to the teen years... I'm sure they get harder again!

One word. Teenagers. Omg.

Mine are 4 and 18m and get easier all the time! They play together nicely, oldest is mostly sensible with youngest and oldest is getting good at helping out at home etc

My 4 year old is fine!

Everyone seems to prefer different parts of parenthood.
For me, I liked age 5-11. She started school (love the way that they start school just as they become interesting 🙄), I returned to work.
We did lots together.
0-4 not so much fun. Frustrating tbh. You've gotta feed them constantly... Bag full of healthy snacks at all times zzzzz

Mine are 14 and 16. (Girls) I found a baby ok but a baby and toddler incredibly hard. (Dd2 was quite hard work.) Have found it easier has time goes on. They are fine as teenagers.

Age 4 is a lot of work in our house. Not quite old enough to play/read on her own for any length of time she demands a fair bit of help and attention still. I enjoyed the baby toddler stages - easily amused by simple things plus she had a nap at least once a day which gave me few much needed minutes to decompress. I miss the naps.

Different problems exist at different ages. Mine are 11,15 & 17.
I get to sleep, but they disturb me being up walking about going to bed later than me!
However the problems are ‘bigger’ ie school and college, relationships and emotions due to lockdown, general teenage rudeness etc! I’m not sure which problems are the ‘better’ ones to have tbh.

Well, speaking from personal experience I found 4 absolutely bloody awful with both my DDs. Toddler years were actually a doddle, but at 4 they had all the tantrums and were smart and articulate enough to argue their case.

Then DD1 had a horrendous stage at 6, DD2 was awful at 9 and actually their teenage years were again relatively straightforward.

The good times will come again.

4 can be a tricky age. They are either waiting to start school, and getting a bit too old for nursery, or starting school youngish and having a lot to get used to.

DS is older in his year (4y9m starting) so he effectively had an extra year at nursery. I remember really looking forward to this and planning all kinds of adventures because I only work 3 days a week and he was finally big enough to be out all day on foot/scooter exploring London. At 2 or 3 he would have loved that, but not had the stamina.

Well my plans were foiled. DS suddenly had strong opinions and preferences, and if a day out didn't involve soft play, a bmx track, and at least one of his friends, he would make it hell. So I gave in and spent the year wrangling him in the suburbs until he could start school, at which point he settled down happily.

Whenever I hear people talking about deferring their "Summer Born" DC starting school, I think "NO! DON'T DO IT!".

One of mine is 3 and I'm sure he reserved the terrible 2s for once lockdown eased up! We had less problems in lockdown as less places to go, less people to see but now we have school runs etc. We are back to the battles of ensuring we leave enough time to factor in strops and delays. He insists on doing his seat belt himself but he struggles so this can be a struggle 6 times a day, he wants to wear shorts to pre school when it's cold, so another morning battle, he wants to fill up his own drinks like his older siblings, he likes to talk louder and louder over me and my partner when we are trying to talk, is a bit boisterous around his baby sister, can delay bedtime by refusing to get into bed some nights, went through a stage of not wanting to hold my hand to cross the road like his older siblings so I had to carry him screaming over the road many times till he learnt to hold my hand. So out came the sticker charts and a daily reward, I am better with the baby stage than the tantrum and headstrong stage too!

For me : baby - 4yrs was hideous

4-6 mostly amazing!

No idea beyond that

Oh my God yes! Give me screaming Velcro babies awake all night and tantrumming, crazy control freak toddlers/threenagers etc rather than a 13yo in peak hormonal, anxious condition.

I finding it hard parenting a teenager at the moment and when I see a little 4 or 5 year old I think ahh wish I could have that age again but reading this I rem things now lol. Think i liked about 9. Started playing out, interested in restricted tablet time and it gave you some space and not much attitude and still that cuteness.

I think all children have their phases at different ages. Ds was a bit of a fearsome 4 at some stages but Dd didn’t really have this phase.

With both of mine the hardest stage was around 12 a 18 months when the were keen to be up and active but always falling about the place.

My eldest is 12 now I should say!

I also didn’t like the baby “awake all night” stage either.

I don’t like the physical bits I think.

My almost 4 year old is having a tantrum stage. She is loud, bossy and demanding, but also loving and funny. She's come as a total surprise as she and her older sister are polar opposites so we really don't know what we're doing!

I found nursery helped massively, she started last September full time and loves it and her behaviour improved in a big way. She would have started much earlier if it wasn't for the first lockdown. During the recent lockdown her behaviour deteriorated but now she's back at nursery shes much better.

I find it's frustration a lot of the time that triggers her, sometimes tiredness and sometimes she wants attention. I know it won't last and her behaviour is brilliant at nursery and with the GPs so it's very much an at home thing. It can be draining though and very frustrating.

I found 18m to 2yo difficult with both my DSs - old enough to be "naughty" but too young to understand an explanation of why he couldn't do x, y or z. My DD was an angel baby and toddler until she hit 3yo!

Teens are fine for me so far (eldest is 15 so I have a few years to go!).

I think it depends on the child. Although in general I find babies and primary age are the fun ages.

Thank you for all the perspectives - seems like every child has their moment! And yes lockdown doesn't help. Baby sibling threw her off for a couple of weeks and it was genuine hell - she's probably still dealing with that in ways I can't see.

Today we've had literal lying on the floor wailing tantrums because:

1. her tights were blue
2. her different tights didn't have stars on
3. I asked her to take her hands out of my top
4. I asked her to have a wee (she'd been up for 3 hours and was jigging around desperate)
5. I asked her to take off her own shoes
6. I asked her to wash her hands after going out to the playground

It's not like it even lunchtime yet!!

Mine turned 1 & 2 in December so I'm following this thread for a bit on insight on what I should expect... my 2yo is a handful at the moment, 600000000+1 tantrums a day!
1 year old is running about.. into things head first
But yeah I hated the newborn stage with both of mine... but then I'll look back at photos & videos wishing to turn back time 🤷🏻‍♀️

From my experience I think having adult DCs is harder. When she was little I had control over my DD. Now she is an adult it is hard to see her make mistakes which have really badly affected her life and I can do nothing about it but support her when the consequences have come back to bite her.

For all those dreading teenage years, it's really not that bad for most people.

Teenagers are brilliant on the whole, you just have to adapt your expectations a little.

I've got 2 so have done all the baby/toddler/small child stages and am actually really enjoying the teen years.