Male friend made a pass - I'm horrified

[Disgustedandfeelsick]

I have a male friend (I'm female). We met through work about ten years ago. He's been in a relationship about a year. I've met, married and split with DH in this time.

We don't talk regularly but I know if I needed to talk to him there would be no difficulty. I've never cheated on my STBXH and as far as I know he's never cheated on his DP. I absolutely don't fancy him in the slightest. He's a friend.

Last week he called and I couldn't pick up. I text that I'd call him back and forgot. I remembered yesterday and thought I must call him this weekend. I had every intention of doing that.

Anyway today he text, started off quite normal and then he said he'd had a really rude dream about me and that I probably shouldn't ask. I said no I won't. He kept on about this dream and how he finds me very attractive. I was really uncomfortable and told him his DP wouldn't be at all pleased he was having this conversation with me. He kept on so I said I'm really not happy having this sort of chat with you, please stop.

He said OK but he can't help his feelings and that we're still the best of friends? We've never been best friends, he was a mate who I caught up every now and then.

He clearly thinks I'm up for it now I'm single. I'm utterly disgusted by him and would rather break the friendship. Anyone else been let down like this by a friend or am I over reacting?

@katnyps

I think it's a shame when a male friend makes a pass and you're not interested but generally I don't think it's fair to call them gross, creepy etc because of it unless a) they don't accept the "no" graciously or b) they are in a relationship. Also, shortly after a break up is pretty insensitive and a death? Not smart!

Yeah, this is where I am with that. (Though there seem to be lots of men and women that are ok with affairs so I guess if that is what you are looking for there is some chance it might be well received.)

I remember watching a tv show once where one character said "If you can't make a pass at your friends, who can you make a pass at?"

I've never had an issue with platonic friendships with men, but I've never really cared if they made a pass at me either. Some did and others didn't. I haven't ever felt bad about saying no, though.

New coworker (residential care), I was distressed because of bullying at work and he replied (texting) that he wants to copulate with me on the kitchen table (at work). Managers did nothing about it because it happened out of work hours.