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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be very worried how I’m going to work in the school holidays?

359 replies

Cherrymentos19 · 26/03/2021 05:56

Single parent
Returning to work
My children are at private schools - so great during term time as wonderful before and after school activities

However the holidays are outrageously long!

Easter break... 3.5 weeks

Summer holidays... 9 weeks!

Half terms are generally 2 weeks.

I have no support locally. The children’s father will not be on hand in any meaningful way, and absolutely no point pursuing that point - because zero chance of change. Zero.

So what do people do?!

OP posts:
mars2 · 26/03/2021 10:27

Absolutely @Notcontent, so much bitterness. I still find it a struggle & have it way easier then the OP & many others.

Ted27 · 26/03/2021 10:28

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

I dont think its at all unusual for people not to have any family support, for many reasons. Yes I have family, but grandparents live too far away to help on a day to day basis and my brother in australia isnt much practical use either. I don’t think any of my friends were able to call on family support for similar reasons.

@Cherrymentos19 having said that, as a single parent myself, its no different really to 2 parent family. Its just constant juggling - holiday or sports clubs, scout camp, very careful planning and use of annual leave around bank holidays, unpaid leave. In my experience there are fewer options at Christmas so ensuring I had enough annual leave to cover that holiday.
If your job has a flexi time system look at how you can use that. I could usually manage to squeeze at least one if not two days flex leave for half terms and Easter. In the summer I usually ran with a defecit. One year I had to leave early for a week to collect my son at 3.30 from a sports camp, the following week he was in a club where he could stay till 6 so I made the time up. Overall I usually came out of the summer holidays with a 20 hours or so deficit which I made up in the first few weeks of term.
Planning is key really. I usually started planning the summer in January and would aim to have it sorted by Feb half term. Even now my son is 16 and doesnt need chilcare, I’ve still got his summer sorted out now so he isnt just hanging around for 10 weeks

Flowers24 · 26/03/2021 10:29

@mars2

Read the thread *@Flowers24*!!!
Sorry I don't have time to read every single message, answer is simple, pay for summer childcare!?
Flowers24 · 26/03/2021 10:30

Can i.add, can you afford a nanny.?

AaronPurr · 26/03/2021 10:31

Sorry I don't have time to read every single message, answer is simple, pay for summer childcare!?

There's a button to only see OPs posts (see all)

Even if you don't have time to read the whole thread, it makes sense to read OPs posts before replying.

Flowers24 · 26/03/2021 10:33

Oh I didn't know there was that button! Where is that .?

AaronPurr · 26/03/2021 10:35

@Flowers24

Oh I didn't know there was that button! Where is that .?
Under the OPs original post.

It says see next and see all

HidingFromDD · 26/03/2021 10:35

You are going to have to pay for childcare of some sort. My dd did this for a few local families when she finished uni. I’d suggest asking at a local college/uni for students on childcare courses, also look for local kids clubs (Dd worked in one for a number of years) such as gymnastics etc who run term time classes and usually have responsible older teens (often dbs checked) who are happy to earn extra money. Consider a job split though as you may find they don’t want 5 days a week so get different helpers for mon/tues for example. They will also tend to do different things (might be one sporty one and one crafty one) so less chance for kids to get bored. It’s a logistical nightmare but doable

mars2 · 26/03/2021 10:37

Sorry I don't have time to read every single message, answer is simple, pay for summer childcare!?

It's a waste of time to give out advice then if you don't have time to read the OPs comments.

PricklesAndSpikes · 26/03/2021 10:37

Sorry I don't have time to read every single message, answer is simple, pay for summer childcare!?

Maybe if you don't have time to read the thread, don't post until you do. Especially if you are going to post something as unhelpful as "pay for childcare"! As if the OP didn't think of that! Hmm

Flowers24 · 26/03/2021 10:38

Ok so now I have read all op posts here's my advice-

Can you alter your hours at all for summer?
Look into Holiday clubs
Ask.the school for advice they may have things running
Do you have any holiday to take ?

Triffid1 · 26/03/2021 10:38

OP, sorry if others have suggested this as only read your posts. You said your youngest hates holiday clubs? Completely understand - we have similar problems over here. But they DO quite like activity clubs. It can still be tricky as those tend not to be the full wrap around option of regular holiday clubs but for example, a few days at gymnastics/tennis/parkour/art club etc could work? It's also worth asking around at school because when we do these clubs we often try to do them with the DC's friends - it makes them more wiling to go go and also means we can share lifts/ collection etc. So, for example, DS and his best mate have two days of clubs in Easter. On Day 1 I am dropping DD at his house to hang with his sister, picking up the mate and dropping both boys at the club. I'll collect them, and then drop mate/fetch DD. So that's a full day for me (almost). The second day we're doing it in reverse - she's taking the boys, I'm having the other kids and she gets a full day.

Sidewalksue · 26/03/2021 10:38

I’d love to live in an area where there were actual holiday clubs. It was something the council used to do but with cuts these have been abandoned.
Now there are only football and drama ones (DD hates both) and the music one is only on for 2 days in the whole summer holidays.
She did go a sports one once but it was only on 10-4 so I couldn’t get to work anyway.

Flowers24 · 26/03/2021 10:39

@PricklesAndSpikes

Sorry I don't have time to read every single message, answer is simple, pay for summer childcare!?

Maybe if you don't have time to read the thread, don't post until you do. Especially if you are going to post something as unhelpful as "pay for childcare"! As if the OP didn't think of that! Hmm

Oh I'm sorry i.am currently in hospital and quickly read this and replied, please don't have a go.at me
Flowers24 · 26/03/2021 10:40

Also any friends with kids you can share childcare with?

Overwhelmed245 · 26/03/2021 10:41

How old are the kids we had a local teenager back from uni/ collage who would look after us/ take us to the park

Chubbaibu · 26/03/2021 10:44

In my ex's case private school fees with financial help from bursaries actually worked out cheaper than paying wrap around care for state school.

All before and after school clubs were included, and the times worked out better for him (us>?)

PricklesAndSpikes · 26/03/2021 10:47

Oh I'm sorry i.am currently in hospital and quickly read this and replied, please don't have a go.at me

Maybe you shouldn't have been rude and had a go at the OP and then I wouldn't have needed to point out (not have a go!) that maybe it's a good idea to make an effort to read a thread before posting a flippant response followed by a Hmm. It wasn't as though it was a helpful reply that you wanted to quickly get across. I am sorry you are in hospital for whatever reason but that is an irrelevant red herring not an excuse for your original rudeness.

BriarsHollow · 26/03/2021 10:50

@Viviennemary

Get a term time only job.
Read the whole thread.

Term-time jobs are just dotted about are they? Easy to find? Any work at the moment seems to be massively oversubscribed by supremely overqualified applicants. This is a mother returning to the work place after a hiatus to raise her children, don’t be so obtuse.

Flowers24 · 26/03/2021 10:50

Many others said the same now i.am reading back , blimey i.get it , just drop it ?

OverTheRubicon · 26/03/2021 10:53

You say 'obviously no in laws', but that's not necessarily obvious. I'm not especially close to my ex's parents, but they do still want to see their grandchildren. Is that ever an option?

As others have said, the only other choice is paying for care, or you can sometimes swap weeks with another family or single parent, at least for one child. If you can't afford to do this, then unfortunately even with bursaries, you can't afford private school (I do sympathise, because that's my situation, a single parent who is too well off for a major bursary, but not well off enough to pay for all the costs of childcare, uniform, extracurriculars etc that come with private education).

sleepylittlebunnies · 26/03/2021 10:59

What are your hours OP and is there a chance of working from home?

I work nights so even on days when I don’t have childcare I can get a few hours sleep while DC 8, 10 & 12 have a lie in or on screens. DH gets bank holidays off and has a scheme at work where he loses £40 a month of income to get an extra week of paid annual leave.

As your DC are on bursaries would the school offer a discount for the school holiday club, it’s worth asking.

Original poster
Cherrymentos19 · 26/03/2021 11:00

@Flowers24
Must a suggestion

But if you don’t have time to read, that’s totally fair enough.
But then also I suggest playing it safe and either not responding or a pleasant response rather than a knee jerk judgement one

OP posts:
Original poster
Cherrymentos19 · 26/03/2021 11:01

@OverTheRubicon

You say 'obviously no in laws', but that's not necessarily obvious. I'm not especially close to my ex's parents, but they do still want to see their grandchildren. Is that ever an option?

As others have said, the only other choice is paying for care, or you can sometimes swap weeks with another family or single parent, at least for one child. If you can't afford to do this, then unfortunately even with bursaries, you can't afford private school (I do sympathise, because that's my situation, a single parent who is too well off for a major bursary, but not well off enough to pay for all the costs of childcare, uniform, extracurriculars etc that come with private education).

Sorry “obviously” was not correct on my part Although I would say more often than not in laws and the ex aren’t particularly close?

In my case - they are on the other side of the world.

OP posts:
Designingheaven · 26/03/2021 11:11

[quote VaVaGloom]**@Designingheaven* My best friend saved and saved most of her 20s to fund her first child going to private school, she wanted to give him the best fighting chance in life and she’s only sending him for the primary part*

Has she got other children then?[/quote]
No, I see what the sounded like but I mean having a child and doing that was her main priority and they were hoping their business would be successful enough to fund any others. Turns out it wasn’t anyway and they chose not to have any more.