To be very worried how I’m going to work in the school holidays?

[Cherrymentos19]

Single parent
Returning to work
My children are at private schools - so great during term time as wonderful before and after school activities

However the holidays are outrageously long!

Easter break... 3.5 weeks

Summer holidays... 9 weeks!

Half terms are generally 2 weeks.

I have no support locally. The children’s father will not be on hand in any meaningful way, and absolutely no point pursuing that point - because zero chance of change. Zero.

So what do people do?!

[quote Cherrymentos19]@Flowers24
Must a suggestion

But if you don’t have time to read, that’s totally fair enough.
But then also I suggest playing it safe and either not responding or a pleasant response rather than a knee jerk judgement one[/quote]
A response like many others!

Why all the stupid chippy remarks about private schools? Makes no difference if its private or state school - same problem for single working people.

I work reduced hours but during term time I spread my hours over 5 days, during holidays I do longer hours over 3 days. Can you work more hours in term time?

Use your holiday allowance
Holiday clubs
Make sure the father uses his holiday allowance and has the children in their holiday time.
Aupair, nanny,

I hope you take it on board for the future

Their father is not an option for holiday childcare. I won’t bore with detail. But as I say in Op
Zero chance

Childrens ages are most probably relevant here. Also do you work outside the house or is it a job you can do some hours/flexible time at home?

When I was single it was a juggling act and was a combination of the following:

Local teenager/babysitter
Worked some hours from home and was flexible enough to wrap it around the kids, though this was not often
PGL - when they were over 8. They sometimes have some great first time deals which are actually affordable.
Holiday clubs.

It is so hard to juggle, it really is and I think unless someone has been in that position its hard for them to grasp it I think. Before I was single parent I really had no idea.
Thankfully I was able to source holiday clubs that actually ran a full day instead of only til 3pm and they were affordable. And local teens looking for extra money.
Good Luck!

This thread is quite depressing. Not nearly enough people here are outraged that a so-called father effectively dumps his kids and leaves the mum to pick up the slack- and all the logistics issues. The self righteous comments along the lines of 'should have thought before getting pregnant' are the reason why inequality still exists! Well, the man child should have thought before sticking his p in her v, right?!
Whatever caused OP to end up solely in charge of providing for her kids, it's clear that there's not enough affordable childcare available here.
And yet look at the relationship boards and the number of LTB posts all the time! We are meant to be strong, independent, and magically conjure up childcare to build our kickass TERM time only career! We just cannot win.

Do you have a good income? Plenty of low income parents (whether they are together or not) have to find ways to entertain their DC over school holidays and half term breaks.

Is dad in the picture? What’s the childcare arrangement? Do you have the children 24/7?

OP you have had some very judgy responses from people on this thread which is a shame. Have been in your situation and it is not easy - my one tip in addition to the practical suggestions is to plan well ahead if you can - not only does it give you some certainty, but also helpful for the children to get their heads around it too.

@Cherrymentos19 Although I would say more often than not in laws and the ex aren’t particularly close?

Yes, but I think there's obviously a lot of back story that is making it seem like these children are yours and yours alone. Plenty of paternal grandparents still want a close relationship with their grandchildren even after their son's relationship has split up. For example, my in laws visit the country for a few weeks a year, and will be helping my.ex (who for health reasons struggles to care for DCs alone) to look.after the kids during school holidays. Could anything like that happen?

[quote OverTheRubicon]**@Cherrymentos19* Although I would say more often than not in laws and the ex aren’t particularly close?*

Yes, but I think there's obviously a lot of back story that is making it seem like these children are yours and yours alone. Plenty of paternal grandparents still want a close relationship with their grandchildren even after their son's relationship has split up. For example, my in laws visit the country for a few weeks a year, and will be helping my.ex (who for health reasons struggles to care for DCs alone) to look.after the kids during school holidays. Could anything like that happen?[/quote]
They are kind sweet people that would help

However they are literally on other side of world
Very elderly
In very poor health
I doubt they will ever get over to the UK again

You’ll need to take annual leave when private off and state in as no childcare unless school run it. Bonus if you are able to go on holiday it’s much cheaper to go then or have days out without it being busy.
Rest of time are there any relatives who would take for a week mine would go to her grandma for a week. Or PGl take from age 7 and accept child care vouchers - activity holidays.
Swap with another mum - I’ll have yours for a week if you have mine.
Rest of time paid childcare. Lots is word of mouth. 9-3 sort is much more plentiful and much cheaper. Mine did gymnastics, dancing etc.

@Cherrymentos19
I am a single parent with little/no support and my son is donor conceived so there is no one else with parental responsibility. He is also at private school. I use a mix of holiday clubs at school which run during those weeks when other schools are still in school, holiday clubs elsewhere when they're available (and pick those that can do 8-6) and leave. It's not perfect but I just about get through. I am fortunate though in that I can buy an extra weeks holiday and have an understanding boss. Good luck.

The barely concealed envy on this thread is quite something.

I suspect there is no bursary. The father pays the fees but doesn’t want anything to do with the DC. It wouldn’t be unusual and I wouldn’t blame the OP for not wanting to get into it because it’s not relevant.

The fact as she is needs to cover long holidays and doesn’t have loads of money to fund expensive options.

@Cherrymentos19
And don't forget you can use childcare vouchers for them as well.

I was a lone parent for years (twice....long story). I work FT. I have since my eldest, who is nearly 18, was 20 weeks old. I am afraid your only option is to pay - either a club or a childcare individual. There just is not another way...and believe me I tried to find it. I have one DC now who requires watching in the summer holidays (older 2 dc can look after themselves) she is 9. I will have to pay for care for her. This will be year 17 of me paying for childcare. I will never add up the total I have spent as it will make me cry. Modern day parenting - costs a bomb.

OP, I know a lovely lady in exactly your position and I can understand how daunting it must feel at the moment. I agree the key is to plan well in advance and be super organised. She does a combination of suggestions from PP. Days with other parents from school, holiday clubs run by the school and other local state schools (seems really common that the children from the private school go so they always have a friend), local sports clubs (rugby, tennis ect) holiday clubs, local dance and drama group holiday clubs and paying for one of the gap students from the schools sports department to do some nannying. And of course, she takes some annual leave. It’s also worth asking your local church as they quite often run some sort of holiday club at some point over the summer holidays.
Good luck with your return to work

if your pay is low enough you may get help with any OFSTED approved childcare placement - be that holiday clubs or even an ofsted nanny or childminder (although these are like gold dust)

Do any of your local colleges run childcare courses - it may be worth asking if any students there want some holiday work - may work out cheaper.

I suspect there is no bursary.

Why are you accusing the OP of lying?

If your circumstances have recently changed, maybe it's worth talking to the school to see if they have funding for children in receipt of bursaries. Maybe their bursary can be increased (until it's already 100%!) leaving your more money for childcare.

The main reasons we chose the (private) school we did was because of wrap around and holiday provision and we budgeted that in to the costs. When I compared our chosen school with the one most likely to gain entry to in the public sector the costs were not dissimilar - because the wrap around care in term time is mainly included in the fees and the holiday provision cheaper than the local alternative (£26 vs £30). All in all, private school + wrap around + holiday care costs us £55 more a month than state school would have.

Not quite the same thing but I was very ill a couple of summers ago so couldn't parent during the day as had to rest and my usual, wonderful part time nanny had gone back to her home country for an extended trip.

I scoped out all the free and/or heavily subsidised activities e.g. drama course with local theatre, fun day in the park plus some more expensive holiday camps and hired local friends older children (15-17) to do the drop offs and pick ups or just to play with the children in the house while I was in bed. I had a bunch of them (they were all friends) on a WhatsApp group and they worked it out between them so they all got some extra money. It was a bit of a patchwork but was fun.

However, you need to get organised early as even all the holiday camps get booked up.

Unless the school runs one, holiday clubs usually only run during state school holidays as they need the numbers. So most families cover the “extra” private school holiday weeks with a mixture of annual leave (often staggered one parent at a time), grandparents, reciprocal play dates etc. It is a nightmare.
My kids have 19 weeks holiday a year. This has been a major factor in my decision not to work much in the last 9 years. I am lucky to be in that position. Now they are finishing primary school I will get back into work as they will be happier going to clubs in the holidays and there’s just generally more options for them in the holidays in terms of days out with friends etc.

Also check out whether there are any childcare voucher systems that you could access - these could pay for a childminder etc.

It’s frustrating that my ex husband as an option has been frequently raised despite very clear op.

He is a loving and supportive father.
I am not going to elaborate but suggest some think outside the box...
Terminal illness
Lives abroad
Experiencing serious mental health illness

I could go on. There are many possible reasons why I made clear my ex husband is not available. I explained “zero chance” but still the Nancy Drew’s amongst us Wade in

@Grimbelina

Also check out whether there are any childcare voucher systems that you could access - these could pay for a childminder etc.

I believe the childcare voucher system is closed to new entrants? Although it was my neighbour that mentioned that so I’ll make enquiries