To be very worried how I’m going to work in the school holidays?

[Cherrymentos19]

Single parent
Returning to work
My children are at private schools - so great during term time as wonderful before and after school activities

However the holidays are outrageously long!

Easter break... 3.5 weeks

Summer holidays... 9 weeks!

Half terms are generally 2 weeks.

I have no support locally. The children’s father will not be on hand in any meaningful way, and absolutely no point pursuing that point - because zero chance of change. Zero.

So what do people do?!

Apols I haven't RTFT but I feel your pain and have been there.

Wonder if you could put feelers out in school if any other mums want to do some sharing of childcare, e.g. you take one week, she takes another? Or maybe one of the kids friends have au pairs who wouldn't mind taking on extra kids for some extra £££ so it's a playdate too?

When I was a kid my mum got teens to look after us. With DD I relied on holiday clubs then took the extra weeks off whilst state schools were still on.

Perhaps read the thread or at least the OP's posts before commenting... She's said several times that the children are there on bursaries!

Bursaries these days does not mean 100% fees covered. It can be as little as 10%. There are few schools with larger bursaries.

Does anyone know if you can get the 20% tax relief with holiday clubs? That's definitely open to new entrants. You could see if any of your local providers are registered. Essentially you then pay 80%, gov tops up to 100 and then you can pay the provider from your account. Think the only eligibility criteria is earning less than £100k but I'm not clued up, someone else may be.

People are not being judgy.

They are simply pointing out that the challenge of those terribly long private school holidays is something of first world problem, easily avoided by using state schools like the vast majority of UK residents. Yes there are still school holidays to cover but far fewer weeks and generally more provision available to cover the state school holidays.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Perhaps read the thread or at least the OP's posts before commenting... She's said several times that the children are there on bursaries!

Bursaries these days does not mean 100% fees covered. It can be as little as 10%. There are few schools with larger bursaries.

so what? Perhaps the bursaries cover half and she covers half and now she has a problem i that not only is childcare expensive, but she has specifically stated that her children hate holiday clubs. If the school did them, she might be able to manage.

A thread asking for creative or alternative ideas really doesn't seem like one where we have to stress about the details of OP's actual life. It's an opportunity to say what has worked for you/people who know in case there are ideas OP hasn't thought of that she might be able to implement. Doesn't seem like rocket science to me.

Well IME single parents either have supportive ex and/or in laws, family who can help, use the holiday clubs or get a term time only job. There's really not a magic answer. If you can afford to throw money at it then there are summer camps and nanny's, otherwise maybe you could find another single parent to swap with? It's not easy.

Perhaps the bursaries cover half and she covers half and now she has a problem i that not only is childcare expensive, but she has specifically stated that her children hate holiday clubs.

Half of private school fees is a huge amount if money. Unless shes got exceptionally rare large bursaries, it's likely that her contribution to two lots of fees would easily cover a nanny for state school holidays.

Choosing private school is an expensive, luxurious, non essential decision. It will come at cost that the vast majority of the country can't afford whether with bursaries or without. It's a first world problem.

@Cherrymentos19

It’s frustrating that my ex husband as an option has been frequently raised despite very clear op.

He is a loving and supportive father.
I am not going to elaborate but suggest some think outside the box...
Terminal illness
Lives abroad
Experiencing serious mental health illness

I could go on. There are many possible reasons why I made clear my ex husband is not available. I explained “zero chance” but still the Nancy Drew’s amongst us Wade in

Tbf OP, it’s not suprising people thought the children’s dad was some dead-beat who couldn’t be bothered, when you posted this:

The children’s father will not be on hand in any meaningful way, and absolutely no point pursuing that point - because zero chance of change. Zero.

After reading this I'd say pick future ILs carefully. My son had to move away, couldn't get work here after a business failure. ExDIL relies on me for childcare, during lockdown I had GS living with me for 9 weeks, he normally comes to me 3 nights a week after school depending on her shifts and if she's working weekends he's with me for the weekend. He spends at least half of school holidays with me.

If you do get a MIL who will do all that don't forget to say thanks, a card on her birthday would be nice, the occasional bar of chocolate or even offer a contribution to food. Maybe I should start charging?

OP sorry it is so hard, a friend in your position had a foreign student live with her for the summer. He got a free 8 weeks in the UK, went on holiday with her and the kids, her sons loved having this young man around for a few weeks as dad wasn't really in their lives. I don't think it worked out very expensive. Not sure how she arranged it but I know she paid for his flight/food/expenses when on holiday with her and he had a small sum for pocket money on top.

@AdultierAdult

Does anyone know if you can get the 20% tax relief with holiday clubs? That's definitely open to new entrants. You could see if any of your local providers are registered. Essentially you then pay 80%, gov tops up to 100 and then you can pay the provider from your account. Think the only eligibility criteria is earning less than £100k but I'm not clued up, someone else may be.

You definitely could get it when I was running a big payroll about 5 years ago. Definitely worth looking at, the people with children of school age who used it paid every month and saved up for the holidays.

As a lone parent, I work part time.
Could you condense your hours, so that the actual numbers of days needing cover would then reduce say from 5 to 3?
I also accrue flexi so that I can take additional time as I need. Does your employer offer this?
Though not ideal, if you have to cover substantially more than the 13 weeks state school holidays, it may be a factor that leads to you either looking for more flexible employment (I wfh so my lo can be here in school holidays if I am working and evenings) OR look at changing to a state school, though understand you'd be reluctant. Purely as it will be easier to cover those dates if they match with lea Holidays. But beware, school holiday clubs often finish at 330.
Have you negotiated being able to work from home at all?
It will be hard with those longer holidays. Do you work ft? I do use family for absolute emergencies, but literally a handful of times in 3 years. And we juggled the children to cover one another's work commitments. If no family, it maybe worthwhile finding someone who also works similarly in the school classes and see if you can tag tail one another, one dropping at clubs etc, other finishing early to collect.
It's hard. But for me the obvious way forward is choosing a job that is family friendly for your circumstances.

@Cherrymentos19 how old are the children OP?

Are you going to be working f/t? Can your role ever be done from home?

Why is it that as soon as you mention private school there's a number of people who get chippy. I don't understand it. If you hadn't mentioned private school at all, some people's responses would be entirely different. Your question stands irrespective of whether your children are in prep or not. The difference being the longer holidays.

But I digress. As others' have said, holiday clubs unfortunately. They're not cheap for the most part. Most of those close to me have early drop off and pick up so you can leave them there from 8.30-6. It's a long day for the children but what choice do working parents have?
Good luck OP.

Hire a nanny.

Bring dad to court if you need help with childcare costs.

It's not a private school problem, it happens to anyone that has kids in school. You can:
Take holiday
Look into Super Camps or Tech Camps
Any local holiday schemes
Au pair
Child minder
Hire someone to be in your home with them
Nanny
Any other clubs around

A nanny may be cheaper than holiday club esp if you choose one who brings their own dc so can discount their rates

We do a mix of annual leave, clubs and swaps with friends

I use a mix of holiday clubs, childminders and annual leave. Most kids hate holiday clubs so I’m loath to use them but I need to work and it’s the only option right now. Like you OP I have no one else I can rely on.

I put in my annual leave at the beginning of the year and pick which weeks I’ll be off etc. Then I book them into the holiday clubs, work out how much it will cost and make sure to pop money away for it every month.

I usually take Oct half term, Feb, may spring bank hold and two weeks in the summer. Easter and the rest of the 6 weeks just have to be in holidays clubs or with a childminder.

@Cherrymentos19 I asked some questions earlier to try and help you better. Why have you ignored these questions? They are very relevant and have been asked by others.
I'm starting to wonder if I've wasted my time posting on here, and if you really are looking for advice.

We have always used a local childminder, it works well. She takes them to school, picks up and has them in school hols. Has had them since they ere babies. Much cheaper than a nanny, very reliable. Sometimes they get a bit bored in the hols now as they are older and she mainly has toddlers. But as a working parent the consistency and reliability year-in year-out trumps that. She always makes sure they have nice things to do and to an extent learning how to deal with being bored is a life skill . Its a huge relief not having to worry every holiday about which clubs are running, where and how it will work with a commute. So I would say ask around - other parents, school, local forums etc. A decent childminder is worth their weight in gold.

Pay for childcare like everyone else has to - if you can afford private school fees on your wages they may do holiday club

OP made it a private school question when she referred to it in the OP. Arguably if it's not so different to state school holiday issue why mention private school at all.

No one is being chippy .

Thismustbemydream
Quite.

@Cherrymentos19

It’s frustrating that my ex husband as an option has been frequently raised despite very clear op.

He is a loving and supportive father.
I am not going to elaborate but suggest some think outside the box...
Terminal illness
Lives abroad
Experiencing serious mental health illness

I could go on. There are many possible reasons why I made clear my ex husband is not available. I explained “zero chance” but still the Nancy Drew’s amongst us Wade in

There was another thread on her not that long ago where the OP said "DH cannot help out" and all the responses were "but he needs to step up". Turns out he was at the beginning of a 3 month stint on an off-shore oil rig

Why people can't just take what you say at face value I don't know.

Choosing private school is an expensive, luxurious, non essential decision. It will come at cost that the vast majority of the country can't afford whether with bursaries or without. It's a first world problem.

I said upthread that the cost difference between private school and state school (including wrap around and holiday provision) was a difference of £55 per month. Hardly expensive. And for that £55 I don't have the headache of organising a childminder or wraparound/ holiday care from a separate provider (which is the way it works for state schools near us).