To not really be interested in other people?

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I recently started a new job alongside another colleague, so we are both new members of the team. My colleague is constantly asking lots of questions to us all when making conversation and I just don't understand how she thinks up the questions or has the energy/inclination to ask them. I never really thought that I wasn't interested in hearing about other people but I have started to wonder.

For example, one of my colleagues brought up she was from up North and moved down. My colleague then asked lots of follow up questions like how far away is it, how often do you go back, do you miss it, what do you miss most, how does it compare to here, do you think you'll ever move back, etc. Don't get me wrong I would ask one or two of those kind of questions in response to sound polite but I wouldn't be trying to get a detailed picture of how my colleague feels about their move? I'm just not interested, as bad as that sounds.

But in group conversations I join in when it's on different topics, I find it more interesting than constantly asking questions to someone. But I don't know, I just feel like maybe I'm just not interested in other people and their lives which makes me feel like a horrible person.

Is anyone else like this? Or do you find people fascinating and want to ask them lots of questions on, for example, why they moved, why they're a vegetarian, etc.

I ask questions if I'm interested in knowing the answer. If you've moved south from the Arctic Circle, okay, how are you finding it? From Manchester - who cares? Your colleague sounds tiresome.

I'm like you, I don't give a shit.

This woman sounds far too intrusive tbh. That's interrogation not conversation!

To appear like you give a fuck the social dance dictates that you ask a couple of questions then make some sort of nice comment on what you've been told then they ask you a question. She is so ott!

I ask questions if it’s just me and someone else on shift to fill an awkward silence. I’ve never been overly sociable, I’m happy just getting on with my tasks. I’ll ask the odd question and then preoccupy myself. It sounds so nasty but I’m there to work and not to make friends. I tried to make friends at work but it just gets messy when you end up being promoted etc as they tend to not take you seriously or think you’ll do favours

I would hate to be asked so many questions! There’s being polite and then being way too intrusive.

It’s a skill. It gets otherwise mediocre people very good jobs.

I hate people whose method of conversation is just to ask several questions! Your colleague would do my head in

YANBU OP, for the most part I'm not interested in personal details like what you describe.

I'm an awkward turtle though and used to flounder in smalltalk situations. My dad, who is similarly asocial, advised that the way to come across as normal and socially competent is to ask people questions, even if you don't care about the answer. Maybe your inquiring colleague is overusing the range trick?

• SAME trick

I'm exactly the same. People ask me things like how was the weekend etc. I answer them and then forget to ask them back. I worry about coming across as selfish but I actually couldn't care less if they didn't ask me about my weekend either, I'm just not generally that interested in anyone's lives even my own

I ask a lot of questions, but it's not necessarily because I'm interested in the other person, it's more because I have a need to fill silences. Also, the more I ask about others, the less I have to talk about myself.

Yeh I have a few people I genuinely care about ( and obviously care for my family too) so will ask them genuine questions about whatever they got going on . Also when I have been getting to know a guy for example I will be genuinely interested in the stuff they tell me but other than that I couldn’t give a fuck really it’s just chit chat and time / silence filling convos and I’m shit at it

I don’t judge people who are like your colleague though everyone is different

I find people fascinating and would be the same as the woman in the op's piece.

It's out of genuine interest.

Yeah, the colleague sounds a bit over the top. If I was the new person, I'd find that tiring and want a break. A few questions are fine, especially if there's some give and take, but too many in rapid succession is exhausting and annoying!

Not requiring huge amounts of information about the minutiae of someone's life doesn't mean you're not interested in other people.

Questions, a burden to others. Answers, a prison for oneself.

I don't get this 'people are fascinating' stuff.

I'm with Charlie Brooker: people are just arseholes and haircuts.

The natural world is fascinating. People are dull, dull, dull.

Your colleague sounds too nosey and possibly inappropriate.

I'm like your friend, to fill in awkward silences but I think that it's to rebel against my DM who can be bff with someone for years and not know the names of their DC or care.

I have felt this for many years when in social settings, watching other strangers interacting with other strangers. I have always marvelled at how interested in other people manage to look as they're doing it for extended periods in leisure time. Very engaged and into it. They ask questions I'd never think to ask. I can make small talk, but I don't usually actually want to, unless I feel an immediate initial 'I know I am going to like you'. I also sometimes wonder if I am a horrible person even though I know I'm not. It might be the draining effect you feel as an introvert when you have to small talk?

Other than my close friends, I am not interested in other people. I am not in touch with any of my old school friends or colleagues because I don’t have any interest in what they are doing now etc. I wish them well, but I am just not interested. I don’t give a toss about “celebs” either.

I'm generally curious about people and I do enjoy casual conversation, but I don't think asking questions is the best way to do it and I hate being interrogated myself.

Ooooooohhhhhhh god! I worked with a person like that.

I would be trying to work and she would start long rambling conversations about anything from pets to holidays to health. She practically wanted to know what colour panties I had on. It was so bloody wearing.

We worked for a university and I used to have to go into the student computer lab to get some of my work done. It was like working with a tanoy that you could not turn off. It reminded me of staying in a holiday camp when we were kids and you had the tanoy in the chalet. My dad disconnected the wire!

Unfortunately you could not disconnect my colleague.

Eventually I asked our line manager if she could speak to her about it but it just got kicked into the long grass. Line manager just wanted an easy life. I left after a year.

I was not that interested in the people I worked with. Just wanted to do my job and then go home. I would answer politely when they asked me things then do my "busy busy must get on" voice.

I have as little as possible to do with neighbors. I pretend to be very very deaf,

I think I am interested in people, but some people take it way past "interested" and in to "CIA investigation".

I hate when people do this to me, especially in a communal situation like work, because I know others can hear and probably think I'm going on about myself and being boring. Also I'd prefer to talk about more general topics - news, ideas, etc.

I’d describe myself as very interested in other people but I agree with the previous poster that that’s not necessarily the same thing as giving everyone you meet the third degree. It’s nice to learn things about people organically.

Actually, I find that, a lot of the time, people who fire question after question at everyone they meet don’t even retain the information because they’re not interested in the answers. (Former friend was like that - she’d grill you about everything but still didn’t know the most basic facts about me after 15 years).

My colleague then asked lots of follow up questions like how far away is it, how often do you go back, do you miss it, what do you miss most, how does it compare to here, do you think you'll ever move back, etc.

That just sounds painful
Id be very fast to the one word, annoyed answers, especially at work
Im here to work, get paid and go home, not make friends or swap life stories

I don’t give a shit but I ask questions so they talk about themselves rather than ask me questions