I don’t want mummy to come

[Helookslikeamuppet]

Got period today so realising I’m probably being completely ridiculous/over sensitive...was upstairs getting ready to go for a walk with Dp, dog and toddler Dd when heard her say to dp ‘I don’t want mummy to come for a walk, I want her to stay at home and not come, I don’t want her to come, only daddy’
Was just a bit sad 🙈12 hours per day doing everything and the dad sweeps in and always gets all the glory!

I think it’s a great thing, actually.
Just means she’s as comfortable and as happy with her Dad as she is with you, but she probably spends more time with you so he’s a novelty.
I read about so many absolutely useless knobhead dads on Mumsnet it’s lovely to hear about a Dad that a child wants to spend time with!

It's your own fault OP, you probably cut her lunch up wrong. That type of thing can hurt a girl!

Seriously, enjoy the nachos and the peace.

Toddlers can be such nobs! DS 3 makes a point of saying to me in front of DH "I just love you mummy, you're my best friend, daddy's not and I don't love him"

I was once in the play area with my family, DD's on the swings, DH and I pushing. My eldest pipes up: "This is nice. We are with our favourite people..."
How lovely I thought, before she finished what she was saying:
"Yes, I am with daddy and DD2 is with mummy"
At least I was someone's favourite I suppose!

Great. Peace and quiet for you!

I’d be doing a secret air punch and putting the kettle on!

If they spend most of their time with you it makes sense that they want some one on one daddy time. It will be nice for both of them.

There are no losers in that scenario.

Overheard my 4 year old whispering to my 5 year old: 'I don't love Mummy, just Daddy and you and [sister].

Oof.

@TheGumption

I'd be delighted. Bit of peace and quiet!

Me too. Hurt a bit the first few times, now it’s ok have fun with daddy. I can have a cuppa in peace!

Mine used to do a list. "I love daddy and I love baby sister and P (the dog) and I love granny and grandad and I love auntie A and uncle B and auntie C and I love keyworker D and playgroup helper E and....(listed everyone she'd ever met pretty much). Not you. " "Are you sure? Do you love me a little bit?" "No. Not you".

I took to winding her up by saying "Oh that's a pity. Because I love you." "NO!" "Yes I do darling. I love you very very very much.". "NOOO!"
"Oh well. Why don't you go for a walk with daddy and baby sister and P. Not me" .

My toddler DD always wants to sleep with DH and when we ask her should mummy bring you to bed, the answer is always "no! I want Daddy! ". Hurts me a bit, but then I pour the glass of wine and have my quiet half hour in front of TV :)

My 6yo dd happily tells me daddy is her favourite, she’s been like this even as a baby, she would never settle for me, as soon as daddy picked her up she was happy. It’s just who she is. She’s far more aware now, tells be she loves me still even if daddy is her favourite. She’s also told me she knows I’m the one who tells daddy to treat them, I will tell him to take them to the park or a surprise trip somewhere and let them have a treat. She said she knows daddy wouldn’t think if it if I wasn’t telling him and thanks me. What she hasn’t figured out yet is that I’m doing it for me, not them, I want him to get them out of the house so I can have some me time.

My 3yo sat in the back of the car the other day and told me I was no longer the best mummy in the world after she had a full on tantrum, including kicking me, all because I wouldn’t let her sit in her sisters car seat, o well 🤷🏼‍♀️

I remember my mum being upset about something, and toddler me telling her not to worry because I loved her nearly as much as my teddies... Bet that cheered her right up!!

Kids are full of bullshit OP, please don't let it bother you!!

Don't take it to heart. Probably she said that bc she's missing dad and just wants some alone time with him. But I understand why you'd feel hurt by it. My dc said to me they prefer to spend time with dad as he is more fun. The first time it was said I didn't see the funny side and felt like listing all the things I do. Then I realised that it's bc the other parent is always engrossed in his work and so when he appears, it's an event and therefore bound to be found to be more fun.

Rest and put your legs up.

Remembered another one. They were quite little but both had football games in different places at the same time. Unsure how to manage this, DS1 says I know, we can flip a coin. The winner gets daddy and the looser gets mummy . He is now bigger and is lovely to me

I’d fucking love it if my 4yr old said this 😂

My ds told me once that he thought dh was the better parent! It hurt me so much and it triggered my guilt of having pnd when he was tiny

My daughter absolutely clings to me but as soon as my mum is around she clings to her. If I tell her I love her she replies "I love friend" or "I love Gran". She told me she didn't like me anymore the other day because I put shorts on her. She used to cry when my mum brought her home but doesn't really do that now, my older daughter used to do the same . Proper hysterical tears because they were coming back to me!

You're not alone. My 2 and a half year old is obsessed with daddy whenever he's at home. "Go away mummy" he'll tell me. It cuts deep!

They'll be halfway down the road and she'll ask for you!

I've had both sides of this!!

Atm DS is very mummy mummy. DD thinks the sun shines out of Daddy's arse (this week). It shifts and changes.

Haha honestly don't worry about it. I know a single mum (so different situation to yours) that got not child support, the dad rarely around and she had two part time jobs and was doing a university course. She saved all year to get them an Xbox and they were so happy. The dad decided to see them on boxing day and gave them a yoyo each, and after that all they were talking about were the amazing £1 yoyos 😂

@BoomBoomsCousin

My kids used to do this. But my DH says when they were actually out with just him they'd constantly ask for me whenever anything wasn't going swimmingly. I had to take a step back when I heard them wanting time with just him because it felt like rejection, but he had to take a step back when they asked for me because it felt like they only wanted him for the treats and novelty he provided and they didn't see him as the rock he wanted to be for them.

It changes as they get older and they start to have capacity for more nuance and to love you for more than what you can provide them with.

I take it they are not yet mid teens?

@TheSilveryPussycat

Okay. It changes several times...

My son is 13 but due to his genetic condition more like a 4 year old. My Aunt is. In a nursing home with dementia before she took ill she looked after my son when I worked for 10 years. Due to restrictions he's obviously not allowed to visit although I have in the visitors pod the past few weeks. After an epic meltdown Monday he announced I wasn't allowing him to visit as he loved her more than me 😂. I arranged a window visit for yesterday stood in the rain for ten minutes with him and he never even said hello to her contrary article that he is.

My children were like this with daddy, they have more opinions these days, mummy does. Detain things well and daddy others - it'll pass - in the meantime feet up and gin of choice 😉🥂