Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I don’t want mummy to come

105 replies

Helookslikeamuppet · 25/03/2021 18:32

Got period today so realising I’m probably being completely ridiculous/over sensitive...was upstairs getting ready to go for a walk with Dp, dog and toddler Dd when heard her say to dp ‘I don’t want mummy to come for a walk, I want her to stay at home and not come, I don’t want her to come, only daddy’
Was just a bit sad 🙈12 hours per day doing everything and the dad sweeps in and always gets all the glory!

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 25/03/2021 20:02

When DD was about 2 we went on holiday and for nearly 2 weeks she would only let Daddy do everything with/for her.
It was bloody fantastic

Treacletreacle · 25/03/2021 20:04

I wish mine would be like this at times she really is my velcro child. I actually think if she could, she would crawl back in my womb. Has never wanted daddy or anyone other than me. As a baby she would scream her head off if anyone held her and stop the minute I took over. She's 3 now and we are trying nursery but she cries and tells me how much she misses me. 😢

Ivchangedmynameforthis · 25/03/2021 20:04

Dd once said to me "I love you mummy but I love daddy more" kids are brutal

Thehop · 25/03/2021 20:05

I work in a nursery and have children of my own. I promise it’s not you, children are really cutting!

Neighneigh · 25/03/2021 20:05

We've a nearly three year old friend who bursts into tears at preschool pickup because it's the WRONG PARENT

Obviously he does it to both of them. They've wised up now.

BoomBoomsCousin · 25/03/2021 20:06

My kids used to do this. But my DH says when they were actually out with just him they'd constantly ask for me whenever anything wasn't going swimmingly. I had to take a step back when I heard them wanting time with just him because it felt like rejection, but he had to take a step back when they asked for me because it felt like they only wanted him for the treats and novelty he provided and they didn't see him as the rock he wanted to be for them.

It changes as they get older and they start to have capacity for more nuance and to love you for more than what you can provide them with.

Clymene · 25/03/2021 20:06

Toddlers are arseholes. Fact

TableFlowerss · 25/03/2021 20:07

From experience when my dad was a toddler and her dad used to pick her up from nursery, she’d scream the place down. Thankfully I was good friends with the owner or god knows what they’d think.... dad used to dread it and say ‘the way she carries on, folk will think I’m kidnapping her....’ she only wanted me to pick up.

Fast forward about 3/4 years and she was a daddies girl and would prefer him over me every day of the week. She would ask to spend time with daddy

Now she’s at secondary she is equally happy to spend time with both of us. Doesn’t appear to favour one of us over the other and can see the benefits of us both 🤣

It’s a phase OP and how you’ll laugh about it when she’s older!

NextDoorKnobber · 25/03/2021 20:07

Oh, OP. I remember weeping about similar comments, but it really is just toddlers being toddlers. It means nothing at all.

TableFlowerss · 25/03/2021 20:10

dd was a toddler I mean

Wingingitsince2018 · 25/03/2021 20:11

At bedtime DS, who is 2, was giving me a cuddle and gently stroking my face. He then touched my chin and said 'spiky mummy' so it is definitely time to get the wax straps out 😂

Devlesko · 25/03/2021 20:16

Me and dh used to laugh about how fickle they were with preferences.
All for mum, then quick swop to Dad.
Actually they're still like it as adults. Grin

Devlesko · 25/03/2021 20:18

"Chips or Daddy" Remember the advert Grin

SimonJT · 25/03/2021 20:25

Children are not at all loyal.

My son told my partner “I think you love me more than Daddy” then seconds later he asks me to buy him some lego, don’t think so mate.

He also sometimes requests to live with my friend forever because “there are lots of games and no bedtime”.

problembottom · 25/03/2021 20:25

I picked my two year old up from nursery and her beloved keyworker carried her over to me and tried to hand her over. She instead shoved me in the chest with all her might and shouted NO MUMMY. Keyworker mortified, all the other parents trying not to laugh. Cheers DD!

Keeva2017 · 25/03/2021 20:28

@Sciurus83 I have a couple of little knobheads at my house too! Grin

Phoenix99 · 25/03/2021 20:29

My 4yo has been talking non-stop today about his big, strong daddy (from who I recently parted) who fixes things and has an important job. Apparently my job isn't important and daddy's house is bigger and more fun Hmm When it came to bed time he begged to sleep with me so I'm now snuggled up with him after he gave me the biggest squeeze and said I was his best friend. Swings and roundabouts.

PlasticDinosaur · 25/03/2021 20:34

This weeks key phrase from my 3yo DS? Mummy? I don’t love you.
Mummy? DD(4mo) doesn’t love you.

Thanks kid.

HollowTalk · 25/03/2021 20:34

I think your daughter knows that if you and her dad are walking together then you'll talk to each other, whereas if just one of you is there, she gets the full attention. And he's a fresh face, isn't he?

Glass of wine. Bath. No arguing, next time. (For you, I mean!)

LaMariposa · 25/03/2021 20:34

Both of mine prefer Daddy today. Daughter because they share a love of the Nintendo switch and are playing games together, son because Daddy doesn't wash his hair and will read him an extra story.

Tomorrow it will be the other way round.

TwigTheWonderKid · 25/03/2021 20:35

When I was her age I told my mum "I like records better than you mummy" I also apparently walked down the corridor of the flats in whch we lived saying loudly, "No mummy, please don't hit me". My poor mum never smacked me once in my life.

TaraRhu · 25/03/2021 20:37

Lol. My 2.5 yo does this all the time. Usually he wants me not his dad. At night he shuts himself in his bedroom with me and barricades the door saying 'no daddy just mummy'.

But her turns on me too sometimes. He had a full on tantrum at the weekend because he wanted me to stay at home whilst he and daddy went to the park. Told me I would be arrested and put in jail.

Crosstrainer · 25/03/2021 20:50

@Sciurus83

My 2 year old is like this also. She is a complete knobhead.
😂😂😂😂
Graphista · 25/03/2021 20:52

Totally normal part of development

They go through phases of identifying with and being close to a same sex parent, and phases of needing to be close to opposite sex parent - or parental figure.

It's how they learn to develop various aspects of their own personalities and understand them and how to socialise with others.

It's definitely not personal, but as you said yourself it's possible hormone fluctuations are affecting you

I well remember a friend of mine breaking her heart the first time her eldest said "I hate you" she totally took it to heart. Before being a mum she hadn't very much experience with kids at all, I reassured her that it's just the way toddlers are sometimes.

A few days later my own dd said it while we were with them and I'm far more used to the fickle and capricious nature of young children and I just went "yea well I don't like the way you're behaving right now either, time out dd! Over on that bench" (we were at a park), couple mins later after the time out big hug "sorry mummy" "thank you dd now off you go and play" all done and dusted.

Pay no heed to it

It's almost off topic, but not though.

Her dad needs to stop Disney dadding. It's not good for her long term and it's not fair on you to make you always play "bad cop" it can store up problems for the future. Have a chat with him about this.

Children need parents - not more friends, they'll have thousands of friends in their life they only get 2 parents.

Boundaries and discipline are necessary to not only raise well behaved children, but so that they feel safe, secure and loved.

Kids that are allowed to run rings around a parent don't feel secure or loved, I've seen the damage this can do up close.

Once a friend of dds from a "chaotic" home was at ours for dinner etc and I overheard dd moan (as teens will) about me being "strict" about curfew. Dds friend turned around and said "I wish my mum was strict like that! Half the time I think she couldn't care less if I came home at all!"

victorious35 · 25/03/2021 20:54

My 3 year old often says this. She doesn't want mummy to come and mummy has to stay home to cook dinner. 🙈