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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are you letting your primary aged DC have play dates?

118 replies

LockerandKey · 24/03/2021 18:50

DD8 has been invited over to play at a classmate’s house after school tomorrow along with another child.

The other child’s mum has confirmed and said it’s ok. The host parent’s view is that they are in the same bubble at school so it makes no difference. I haven’t responded yet but I feel slightly uncomfortable about it.

I’m not worried about getting covid but it does send the wrong message to DD; she is well aware of the “rules” and knows it’s illegal. The school are desperately trying to keep the bubbles open and have requested parents limit contact outside of school to help with this.

Also, I know this family are also mixing with other parents and children from school. I’m not judging them, it’s their decision but WIBU or over reacting to say no DD can not go?

DD wants to go and says she feels sad because the other DC is going but she also recognises that if I say no (which I’m planning on doing) it’s because we know we’re not supposed to.

But part of me feels I’m being a bit silly as logically it makes no sense .

AIBU to say no she can’t go?

OP posts:
Original poster
LockerandKey · 24/03/2021 20:02

@Alwaysandforeverhere I’m sorry your DD is struggling; that sounds very difficult for you all.
There is absolutely going to be a huge fall out from these lockdowns for our DC.

My reply to your post was not meant tersely; I was just pointing out that it’s not legal to meet indoors from Monday and that’s why I have mum guilt about saying no.

OP posts:
DrunkenKoala · 24/03/2021 20:03

We’re meeting friends in the park but not going into other houses.

HazeyJaneII · 24/03/2021 20:04

No, but I'm aware that quite a few kids at ds's school are...which is one if the reasons why he is still shielding.

lioncitygirl · 24/03/2021 20:06

we did once, purely by accident, dropped a gift off, they opened the door, the kids bombed in and had to be dragged out. We let them play for 20 minutes in total.

Figgygal · 24/03/2021 20:12

Nope not happening for our kids either

In fact eldest’s school sent out a newsletter last week asking parents to follow the law around socialising, play dates and sleepovers
Kids talk

Bopahula · 24/03/2021 20:21

Yes. She plays with her best friend whilst her mum and I have coffee. And they have play dates too. Friends dd is sleeping over at Easter so I can also do childcare the following day. We did originally bubble. But if I'm honest I've got more than one bubble.

Friend on the street they've played together in the garden. But again relaxed that a few weeks back and they go into each other's houses once it's cooler or bad weather.

rhowton · 24/03/2021 20:26

We are having outside play dates with 2 of DD class mates and their parents as they live on the same estate as us. We live at the end of a close so we have the kids bring their scooters and we stand a chat whilst they play.

Blustered · 24/03/2021 20:26

@LockerandKey

In the time I’ve posted, the other mum has cancelled too saying “something has come up” so I wonder if she’s concluded it’s probably not a good idea .
She probably saw this post Grin
Chloemol · 24/03/2021 20:46

@Alwaysandforeverhere

You may need to reread the guidance. Outdoor from 29th is rule of six two households. Indoor mixing is still no and won’t happen until at least 17th May

FFSAllTheGoodOnesArereadyTaken · 24/03/2021 20:49

No I wouldnt. But I'd suggest maybe a playdate in the park instead as I think its safer outside and if you've been going to the park you've been mixing with others there anyway

Alwaysandforeverhere · 24/03/2021 20:50

[quote Chloemol]@Alwaysandforeverhere

You may need to reread the guidance. Outdoor from 29th is rule of six two households. Indoor mixing is still no and won’t happen until at least 17th May[/quote]
A play date doesn’t have to be inside and either way children’s mental health is more important than guidelines not law

FFSAllTheGoodOnesArereadyTaken · 24/03/2021 20:50

"But if I'm honest I've got more than one bubble"...yeah that's not a bubble.

GintyMcGinty · 24/03/2021 20:53

Yes outdoors.

I'm in Scotland and under 12s don't have to socially distance and are allowed out to play.

So my youngest has been out nearly every single day. Only thing that stops her and the other children going out is torrential rain.

funtimefrank · 24/03/2021 20:54

My yr 6 kids are meeting their friends outside in the park/for a walk. Nothing in houses.

seatofmars · 24/03/2021 20:55

[quote Chloemol]@Alwaysandforeverhere

You may need to reread the guidance. Outdoor from 29th is rule of six two households. Indoor mixing is still no and won’t happen until at least 17th May[/quote]
Yet Wembley is set to host 8,000 fans for the Carabao Cup on April 25th...

But yeah, fine. You just go on ahead telling people whose children are wetting the bed to 'reread the guidelines' Hmm.

nanbread · 24/03/2021 21:04

@Alwaysandforeverhere my reception age DC has similar struggles. Could you reduce her hours temporarily?

We have done playdates /arranged to meet other children from 1 or 2 families, but outside. We also have a childcare bubble.

The impact on my children's MH has been significant. Without those things I dread to think how much worse it would have been.

Alwaysandforeverhere · 24/03/2021 21:12

[quote nanbread]@Alwaysandforeverhere my reception age DC has similar struggles. Could you reduce her hours temporarily?

We have done playdates /arranged to meet other children from 1 or 2 families, but outside. We also have a childcare bubble.

The impact on my children's MH has been significant. Without those things I dread to think how much worse it would have been.[/quote]
It’s the getting her in that’s the issue. The more time she spends at home the more she wants to be home. Since the December/January lock down Im her safe and consistent as such. Dh has worked as normal, so it’s been me no preschool no family as that wasn’t allowed back then at the beginning. She’s the youngest of three so it’s not even a used to getting 100% attention. She’s the child who would climb into your eyeball if she could.

We could be sat of the sofa her laying across my lap cradled like a baby and she will ask me to cuddle her and it’s like I can’t be any closer than we are sweetie I’m already cuddling you.

sangrias · 24/03/2021 21:28

Nope not yet. We've stuck to the rules so far. Would do an out door play / park meet over the Easter hols possibly.

Tatum1234 · 24/03/2021 21:29

No definitely not.

Ivy455 · 24/03/2021 21:31

I would let her but then again I think the "rules" are an absolute joke and I do not follow them. I think our children have suffered enough.

Alfaix · 24/03/2021 21:31

Outdoors so meet at park or play in garden, yes.
Indoors not yet. Isn’t it May for that?

Givemestrengthorgin · 24/03/2021 21:34

I'm in Scotland where we are allowed to have a friend over to play in the garden but they must remain outside and we have really stuck to that. No way would I be happy with an indoor play date.

inmyslippers · 24/03/2021 21:34

So they can mix in school but obviously not outside school where the virus roams?

Jumpjumpjumper · 24/03/2021 21:40

Maybe if the government hadn't fucked up constantly, and changed their minds, dangled carrots every step of the way, people might be more respectful of the rules.

Jumpjumpjumper · 24/03/2021 21:41

So as much as I'm following rules, I'd say I am 98% of the time. There's an element that needs to protect my and my children's mental health.

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