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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do your teenagers have a messy room?

97 replies

Flowers24 · 23/03/2021 21:25

Mine are terrible, clothes all over the floor, lucky if the curtains and blinds get open, mugs and glasses. There seems to be 2 camps, one where the parent nags the teenager to clean their room, one where they believe it is their space, let them get on with it.

I am veering more towards the latter as its just a losing battle, do they not see mess as we do, or not care?! I guess if they cant find a certain item of clothing its their fault?

Itching to get in there with my polish and shake n vac but....................

OP posts:
Original poster
Flowers24 · 23/03/2021 23:22

Mine are allowed food upstairs but have to bring plates down, its the glasses and mugs that build up . I had a glass of wine in bed sat night and just took my glass down today, oppps. Usually take tea or coffee up myself

OP posts:
FourDecades · 23/03/2021 23:45

Ds2 walks in a room...any room... and it promptly explodes into a mess.

His room is a pit of dirty clothes, old food, plates etc.

He's nearly 14yrs so l absolutely refuse to clean it for him. I only wash clothes that are in the wash basket so if he runs out that's his problem.

FireflyRainbow · 23/03/2021 23:50

No my boys rooms are always so clean. Everything has its place. My room on the other hand.....

FireflyRainbow · 23/03/2021 23:51

I was a mouldy plate hoarding teen, they don't take after me.

Changethetoner · 23/03/2021 23:52

No. Teenager's room is tidier and cleaner than mine. And the bed get's changed more frequently.

I occasionally go in and collect up some mugs, but even that is not a problem. No idea where the clean freak gene came from, but it's not from me!

junebirthdaygirl · 23/03/2021 23:53

It must be twice as difficult in lockdown. When mine were teens they would ask me for a lift to their friends/ shops etc and l would say sure..when your room is sorted. They would fly around and get a load of tidying done in 15 mins. Also when dds friends were coming round there would be a mad tidy up. But none of that would work in Lockdown.
And here also food never upstairs. I never made a rule but dh and l never do it and it is just something they never did. They actually were not ones for staying in their rooms only for sleeping
( and dd trying on clothes for hours and throwing them on the floor!!) 2 ds not bothered with so much possessions so mess couldn't accumulate as much.

StormcloakNord · 23/03/2021 23:55

I'm hoping to metaphorically bash this out of my DD.

She's only 7 but she has a list of v basic room tidying things she has to do every day.

It'll form a habit... right? RIGHT?? Grin

Original poster
Flowers24 · 24/03/2021 07:11

Sorry but probably not!! At 7 my dd had her room all tidy too but the teen stage hits and thats it............think its built in to their brain.........

OP posts:
sassbott · 24/03/2021 07:16

@StormcloakNord worked for me.

Like a broken record I would call them back up to pick wet towels off the floor from when young.
I also had them opening curtains and putting their own dirty clothes in the laundry hamper daily.

Towels are never left on the floor, curtains are opened. Dirty clothes in the hamper.

None of this stuff is optional in my house. My kids have such a good life, all I ask in return is that they respect our home and pull their weight now they’re older. If they don’t? They won’t get phones/ super fast wifi. This stuff is basics.

Sorry but I don’t buy allowing your room to be a tip as a rite of passage. Have that rite of passage in your uni dorm/ your first house. Not mine.

Lolly34h · 24/03/2021 07:18

18 year old dd room is spotless 16 year old ds room is atrocious. When I brave his room it's like a trip to IKEA I come out with 2 plates a bowl and 10 cups/glasses!! And assorted cutlery. Drives me nuts

mynameisjanice · 24/03/2021 07:20

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EndoplasmicReticulum · 24/03/2021 07:20

One very messy. The 16 year old finally had a moment of realisation over Christmas, spent ages tidying, sorting, decorating and has kept it nice in there since.

Tomcullenisahero · 24/03/2021 07:28

My 16yr old ds has a perfectly organised and clean room. He dusts and Hoover's and likes to use Shake n vac at least once a week, changes his bed and keeps his room immaculately.
My 14yr old ds couldn't care less if his room was never cleaned again or saw daylight. He does however dust and hoover once a week and keep it tidy because thats the condition of his allowance! Money talks 😁

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 24/03/2021 07:31

No, they keep their rooms tidy and I clean them and change bedding. They get an allowance and only have to keep their rooms tidy as a contribution towards it.
We also allow food and drink in rooms but they aren’t messy so it never bothers me.

Ikeameatballs · 24/03/2021 07:31

Clear fluids only upstairs here. Food and other drinks downstairs.

When homeschooling mine never had to work for four hours without a break and I can only live in hope of them wanting to do homework for that long.

OneToThree · 24/03/2021 07:37

Rooms are tidied everyday by them and/or me. Can’t stand a messy house.

Shinesun14 · 24/03/2021 07:38

Dds (15) room is usually immaculate. She changes her bed and does her own washing. She showers twice a day without prompting too.

Ds (13) room is minging. I've stopped food being allowed in it now as twice I've found stashes of crisp/sweets packets/mouldy yogurts/apple cores. It actually smells unclean. I do his washing as it won't get done otherwise and he doesn't care about smelling. I have to make him shower twice a day, open his window, change his bed weekly and his room still smells. I don't known if its a teen boy thing or what but its not pleasant. His bedroom door stays shut and I feel sorry for dss (7) who shares with him until the loft is completed.

BramStoker · 24/03/2021 07:50

Mine both very messy

DS's is worse than DD's but they are both pretty grim tbh

I'm sure I was a bit messy as a teenager but both mine are on a different level!

I visited a friend last summer who I haven't seen for a few years (old school friend who has DC same age as mine), they have moved house since I last saw her and she gave me a tour of their new house including her DD's bedrooms. It was reassuring that both their rooms were total pigstys but her DDs are lovely girls, very polite and doing well at school etc, I found that very reassuring! Grin

JaceLancs · 24/03/2021 08:49

It’s their space I never enter
Every now and then I would ask for crockery glasses etc to be returned
Remind them to change bed and wash bedding but don’t do it for them
Most people grow out of it especially when they have a place of their own
My adult DD does far more housework than I do
DS still lives at home but we split the chores

Original poster
Flowers24 · 24/03/2021 11:33

I love to clean and organise rooms so find it hard not going in and blitzing, sigh will be sad one day though when they leave home and the room is all tidy and empty!

OP posts:
JackieTheFart · 24/03/2021 11:46

do they not see mess as we do, or not care?! I guess if they cant find a certain item of clothing its their fault?

I’m nearly 40 and messy as anything Blush although that doesn’t extend to food. Kids aren’t quite teens yet, but yes, very messy! Ask them to just pick up all clothes, and either put away or in the wash basket and they can’t even manage that!

JackieTheFart · 24/03/2021 11:46

@Flowers24 if you’re hankering for a tidy up I’ve got a whole house here that you can come and do Wink

Original poster
Flowers24 · 24/03/2021 12:12

Send me your address I'll be over with my polish and shake n vac Smile

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4cats2kids · 24/03/2021 12:24

My son’s room is always a tip. I nag him to tidy because I think it’s important for kids to learn some housekeeping and organisation skills.

Peace43 · 24/03/2021 12:28

My DD is only 10 but the rule is that she has to pick up on a Wednesday so the cleaner can change the bed and clean her room. I’d like to keep that rule. What it looks like from Thursday onwards is not my problem but on a Tuesday evening she needs to clear out cups and laundry.