Do your teenagers have a messy room?

[Flowers24]

Mine are terrible, clothes all over the floor, lucky if the curtains and blinds get open, mugs and glasses. There seems to be 2 camps, one where the parent nags the teenager to clean their room, one where they believe it is their space, let them get on with it.

I am veering more towards the latter as its just a losing battle, do they not see mess as we do, or not care?! I guess if they cant find a certain item of clothing its their fault?

Itching to get in there with my polish and shake n vac but....................

It's clean because I tidy it. Otherwise it would be awful! My daughter is extremely messy. It drives me crazy 😬

Generally, they’re okay. I sometimes comment/nag/lecture (delete as appropriate) them to put away clothes, take recycling downstairs, hoover/dust, etc. but, for the most part, I leave them to it.

They’re very good about crockery and the like but eating upstairs wasn’t allowed when they were younger and has really only happened during lockdown as people were working/eating at different times.

Not really pristine but all laundry in basket* and everything in its place, just not in a super-tidy way.

Food IS allowed, but the proviso for this is that all meals go up on a tray and come down shortly after consumtion, even crisp packets - it works for us.

We are talking war zone. You can’t see the floor. It’s awful...

My kids are very tidy . It’s their room but it’s my house.

By my standards yes their rooms are a mess.
But in reality? No.

No food is allowed upstairs.
They Strip and make own beds regularly. Bring down their dirty washing daily (or they won’t have clean clothes).
Open curtains every day (and window if nice weather). Youngest makes bed, eldest doesn’t.
Towels on towel rail.

I don’t nag them but I have standards. Plus I remind them that I am not their maid. I also remind them that I am the one paying for everything in their lives. Which I am perfectly happy to do - in return for pulling their weight - which in my mind equates to not putting me in the position of having to clean up after them.

I respect them. They respect me. Win win.
(But I am also that mother that for years called my kids back to Up to bedrooms/ bathrooms to pick the wet towel off the floor and onto the towel rail). I didn’t pick it up for them once. Now they just do it to avoid being disturbed from their gaming

*DS doesn't want a bin in his room so all rubbish comes downstairs to the bin or recycling. I'm slowly getting him to realize that not everything worn needs to go in the Laundry Basket immediately.....

But I count my Lucky Stars that I can only complain that ds puts TOO MANY clothes in the Laundry Basket. I am Blessed

Mine doesn't. He has zero interest in stuff so nothing much to be messy.

There's some stuff on the floor. Once every 2 to 4 weeks I put it all on the bed or the desk in order to hoover, at which point the paperwork might get put in a drawer or a folder.

He brings down mugs, glasses, plates most days (if he doesn't bring his Big Mug down it's not washed to be ready that evening )

Dirty clothes go in the washbox. Clean clothes might get put away, might wait till I go in there.

It's not as messy as my teenage bedroom was.

DD 13 room is a complete pig sty, clothes and make up everywhere, and despite the no food rule I still find plates and bowls up there.

DS 15 room is immaculate and he never brings food into his room apart from the odd packet of crisps or sweets.

My teenage room was never messy.

Co pared to rest of the house, they’re a mess but not as described on here. Just seem to have ‘the chair’ of clothes and some low level mess.

Beds are changed every Saturday, zero tolerance on this not happening. Bins are emptied twice a week and if there’s crockery in their rooms when I go in each morning I do insist it’s taken down straightaway but I think that’s all basic hygiene and don’t spend time nagging.

For someone who genuinely loves clothes, my 19 year old treats them appallingly. They are all over the floor. But he buys them all himself and does his own laundry, so it’s up to him what he does with them.

My dd room is a 🐖sty .I'm sick of nagging them about it. So now I just close the door so I don't have to see it. I refuse to clean it again for them at 15 & 13 they both know better

Yes. My dd can reduce her room to a mess within minutes. Clothes and makeup all over the place mostly.

Shut the door!!

I'm quite lucky that both my kids are in the loft conversion with their own bathroom so I could completely ignore that floor if I wanted to! Their bathroom is pretty nasty - why the toothpaste seems to get smeared everywhere is beyond me!

@ConsuelaHammock

My kids are very tidy . It’s their room but it’s my house.

Exactly this.

DS13 is pretty tidy but DS10 gets absent minded and leaves things out. I clean their rooms/change bedding once a week and air the bedrooms every morning, so nothing builds up too much. They're pretty good about putting their clothes in the laundry bin.

Always strikes me on these threads how many people say "No food or drink allowed in their rooms"

I've been wfh for the last 12 months and it is 100% normal that I take a mug of whatever hot drink I'm on at the time, in with me. Same fore dh. Why is it okay for adults, but not 'almost adults' ? Or, if I lived in your house wouldn't I be allowed a cuppa at my desk either ?

I try not to, but occasionally, when I need to be by the laptop for some reason, I might also eat my sandwich there, or some crisps or a twix. Again, would I not be allowed to do this in all your houses, or is this dehydration and starvation only imposed upon teens ?

@BackforGood

Always strikes me on these threads how many people say "No food or drink allowed in their rooms"

I've been wfh for the last 12 months and it is 100% normal that I take a mug of whatever hot drink I'm on at the time, in with me. Same fore dh. Why is it okay for adults, but not 'almost adults' ? Or, if I lived in your house wouldn't I be allowed a cuppa at my desk either ?

I try not to, but occasionally, when I need to be by the laptop for some reason, I might also eat my sandwich there, or some crisps or a twix. Again, would I not be allowed to do this in all your houses, or is this dehydration and starvation only imposed upon teens ?

I don't take food or drink upstairs. Only water at bedtime. We eat and drink downstairs. No one is starving or dehydrating 😂

Absolutely vile, and I know it's my fault for not parenting properly, but I think it's a bit of a rite of passage!

I haven't been in my boys (19 & 22) rooms for years. I stopped discussing the mess when they were about 12ish. They soon learned that if their favourite top was on their bedroom floor it would stay dirty. I never asked for washing or if anything needed cleaning/sorting and gradually they began doing it themselves. If they moaned (that they needed something or couldn't find something) I just said 'oh dear' and carried on with what I was doing. It took a few years though for them to really appreciate that a tidy/clean room was better.

I don't take food or drink upstairs. Only water at bedtime. We eat and drink downstairs. No one is starving or dehydrating

Obviously not literally, but do you go for 4 or 5 hours between meals without a cuppa (or coffee or whatever your choice is) when working ? I don't. I think it you look around any office in the country you'll find most people like a drink mid way between their meals, at the very least.

It's horrible in DD's room, truly horrible. Her desk is in an alcove, meaning that mercifully I'm spared the sight of the overflowing bin if I steel myself to poke my head around the door. The floor is covered, amongst other things, with sheets and sheets of incomprehensible calculations, which of course I am not permitted to move. In fact I think she uses them as some kind of moral high ground giving her the absolute right to mark her territory.

Oh yes the wet towels on the floor!