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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OH swanning of for dinner

86 replies

nomoreginforme · 23/03/2021 15:19

AIBU?

Oh has a parcel being delivered at 5 to his parents house which he needs to post but he can't post it today anyway so I said why don't you just wait until tomorrow to go and get it. (My day off aswell)

He said I may as-well just go get it now me and the kids can just have dinner there aswell.

I said so what about me am I just cooking a full on dinner for myself? So you can just sit at your mums all evening and have dinner done for you.

AIBU? I am working from home until 8 but I still cook and do dinner everyday.

All he likes to do is it go to his parents sit there all evening let them watch the kids and have all his dinner done for him winds me up!

OP posts:
Annasgirl · 23/03/2021 17:09

Hi OP,

Some people seem to have poor reading comprehension.

You are not being unreasonable to be upset but I think there is more to this story. I would love it if my DH took my DC to their granny for dinner (not possible due to lockdown here) BUT

  1. Why are you cooking if you work to 8pm?????
  1. Does your DH work and if so what hours
  1. Why does he do nothing about the house?

YANBU.

Annasgirl · 23/03/2021 17:12

@YukoandHiro

Jesus the chance to have a meal in peace by yourself and tv to yourself. Or book/radio/whatever... In the current situation I simply cannot understand why you're moaning about this 🤷🏻‍♀️
The OP has said she is working until 8 pm - so she won't be reading a book or having a bath Confused.

And she has already prepared dinner - this is called the straw that broke the camel's back.

partyatthepalace · 23/03/2021 17:23

I don’t really see the issue with this - the slow cooker dinner can keep.

But what I am gobsmacked by is why are you cooking dinner every night if you work till 8 - why on Earth isn’t he doing at least half of the cooking during the week - what hours does he work??

Babyg1995 · 23/03/2021 17:26

I don't see the issue at all .

Shoxfordian · 23/03/2021 17:28

What’s the issue? Order a takeaway and relax a bit

An0n0n0n · 23/03/2021 17:40

Wait so you can just stop working, eat a pile of delicious slow cooked food and hang out on your own for a bit? How is this not the dream??

yellowlorry123 · 23/03/2021 17:44

Wow the covid police are out again! Hmm

Have a lovely evening OP! Save the slow
Cooked dinner for Tomorrow. Have a lovely glass of wine, some cheese on toast and enjoy the peace!

WhySoSensitive · 23/03/2021 17:47

@nomoreginforme

Maybe I just need to chill out then, I don't know it just annoys me I haven't seen any of my family for months and he's always just going off to his for dinner whilst I'm always working.
This changes it. I’ve never had a good relationship with MIL but the entire oandemic she’s insisted on seeing our son. I’ve seen my family once in a year and it pisses me off that we see her every bastarding week.

On another note, order yourself a takeaway and enjoy a solo night!

Sarcobaleno · 23/03/2021 18:45

First instinct was you were BU. Your latest post OP makes me feel bad for you, it must be really tough if you're the only one not seeing family.

Having said that, your slow cooker food can keep for tomorrow, so bonus no cooking then. I would be doing the biggest happy dance ever if my husband went out for a few hours. I am sick of the fecking sight if the lot of them. What I would give for eating alone with a glass of wine.

Sorry you're fed up. Hope you see you're family soon.

NotAPanda · 23/03/2021 19:10

It’s not about the dinner is it?
It’s the fact that your husband a) makes his own plans and doesn’t tell you and b) pawns his kids off on his parents.
I bet he doesn’t do any housework either! Which he could’ve done while he was at home.
He needs to show you more consideration.
Especially if he works less and is free more why isn’t he making the damn dinner

jessstan2 · 23/03/2021 19:22

@nomoreginforme

He just always has an excuse why he needs to go over to his parents their is always something, and he will organise it with them before even speaking with me.

I've had dinner in the slow cooker since this morning and now saying he's off to his mums.

Enjoy your dinner, when cool put the rest in the fridge for tomorrow.

Put your feet up.

(I presume your in laws are 'bubbled' with you.)

MiniCooperLover · 23/03/2021 19:29

Why was the parcel delivered to his parents? Why not to your own home?

ChristmasAlone · 23/03/2021 19:39

I'd love it if MIL lived in the UK and DP could just swan off for dinner, taking the kids as well all the better.

Put your dressing gown on feet up and order a takeaway chill out and blast through some Netflix, ideally with a bottle of red to hand.....

sunflowersandbuttercups · 23/03/2021 19:41

@MiniCooperLover

Why was the parcel delivered to his parents? Why not to your own home?
We get parcels delivered to DH's parents as there's always someone home to take them in. I think that's a fairly normal thing to do.
JustLyra · 23/03/2021 19:42

Does he have a habit of doing this anytime he's in charge of the kids by any chance?

My ex used to do that and it annoyed the life out of me as he never actually took care of them/took responsibility for them himself. Always palmed it off on someone else.

DonLewis · 23/03/2021 19:43

Annoying though if he hasn't given any thought to the fact you've prepped a meal.

Put the family meal in the fridge, get a takeaway and ask him to let you know if he and the kids aren't gonna be home for dinner to save you the work.

It's rubbish that you haven't seen your family too. I think I get why this gets to you Flowers

RaspberrySocks · 23/03/2021 19:43

This is totally illegal we're still in lockdown!!! Angry

Suzi888 · 23/03/2021 19:46

Well either go with, or enjoy the glorious peace! Everyone comes to our house, I’d love it if DH took DD to his parents!

Eekay · 23/03/2021 19:46

YANBU. You're working till all hours, making sure dinner's cooked etc and he is going to spend the evening with his feet up while his mother cooks and watches the kids. You feel resentful, unappreciated and fed up. I have a feeling that this is more of a straw that broke the camel's back situation.

JustLyra · 23/03/2021 19:53

@RaspberrySocks

This is totally illegal we're still in lockdown!!! Angry
You have no idea where the op lives so how can you know?
NiceGerbil · 23/03/2021 19:57

Why is he having parcels delivered to his parents house?

Didn't he invite you to go as well?

RaspberrySocks · 23/03/2021 20:04

@JustLyra this is a British ran site, >90% of people who use this site are British... I'm guessing I'm right that the OP is British...

Cadent · 23/03/2021 20:11

So when do you get dinner made you for you then, OP?

He needs to cook dinner on his nights or I'd stop making his dinner.

ZZGirl · 23/03/2021 20:14

We're in a lockdown with no indoor socialising so why is he going there anyway? A parcel isn't important. Has he been breaking the rules all this time?

SleepingStandingUp · 23/03/2021 20:17

Why was t decided that you'd bubble with his family and not yours op? I can understand it's hard seeing him hanging round his family when you'd kill for a doorstep chat. We're bubbled with MIL which is absolutely as it should be but at least she comes here. If DH was constantly off there without me knowing I'd sacrificed seeing my family for his, I wouldn't be happy.

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