OH swanning of for dinner

[nomoreginforme]

AIBU?

Oh has a parcel being delivered at 5 to his parents house which he needs to post but he can't post it today anyway so I said why don't you just wait until tomorrow to go and get it. (My day off aswell)

He said I may as-well just go get it now me and the kids can just have dinner there aswell.

I said so what about me am I just cooking a full on dinner for myself? So you can just sit at your mums all evening and have dinner done for you.

AIBU? I am working from home until 8 but I still cook and do dinner everyday.

All he likes to do is it go to his parents sit there all evening let them watch the kids and have all his dinner done for him winds me up!

I would bloody love it if my OH fucked off out with the kids somewhere for a few hours. It's been a full year, I'm sick of the sight of him!

God it drives me mad when someone asks for advice and the COVID police get on their high horse with their comments like "we're in lock down you shouldn't be doing this blah blah" we KNOWWWWWW the rules .... just either help the OP out with a bit of advice or keep shtum, some people break them, some are speaking in general ... if you can't give useful advice then don't bloody comment!

@ouchmyfeet

I would bloody love it if my OH fucked off out with the kids somewhere for a few hours. It's been a full year, I'm sick of the sight of him!

PMSL hilarious ... definitely THIS

@2me2u2u2me ODFO. Everyone telling the OP they would bloody love it when she has clearly said she is unhappy about it isn't exactly helpful is it?

But@EarthieBear, the question posed is not in chat but in AIBU. Surely, the whole idea is gauging opinions so the OP can tell if she is being unreasonable.

Yep, and I am agreeing with her side - that poses a problem for some posters clearly, but frankly this would really piss me off.

There is nothing wrong with pointing out we are in the middle of a pandemic (and it is relevant as OP has not seen her own family), that would rub salt into my wounds if I was in her position.

Turn off the slow cooker

Go with them.

At minimum you'll get your dinner cooked for you, and if you do it often enough you'll break the cycle

Put the slow cooked meal in the fridge for tomorrow and order your favourite takeaway. I really don't see the problem here. Enjoy your evening of peace and quiet OP :)

I would love this. Can we swap DHs?

Ok covid question are you in the uk?

If so no household can mix so he can’t go

Amazed by these threads from the future where lockdown is over!

Unless you're in NZ/Aus, somewhere where we're all allowed to chill in each others houses, you H is unreasonable.

It sounds amazing to me! There is obviously a deeper issue here, you say you work till 8 but still do dinner, is he not pulling his weight around the house and then just going off to his parents instead of doing the things that need to be done while you are working? Does he then do bedtime? Is he working full time?

The dinner you’ve cooked will keep for tomorrow 🤷🏼‍♀️

Slow cooker dinner for tomorrow. Takeaway for one plus nice peace and quiet for Netflix/ reading/wine/ chocolate. I would love that. I'd be in bed early too so he'd have to put the kids to bed.

Have a think about what is really riling you up. Is it that you cook every evening despite working until 8pm? I would hate that. You never get a break from cooking and may feel taken for granted if he has a habit of ignoring what's been prepared and fucks off to have dinner elsewhere ... is that the real issue?

My ex used to do this i would say take dd for a quick walk while I hoover the carpet (she HATED the hoover with a passion as a child) i would hoover start on tea one day his mom would ring asking why I wasn't feeding him and how did I expect him to give his daughter a bottle unless I actually packed the bottle for her he would literally walk to his moms and hand her over i blistered her ears after that conversation because as I pointed out to her a quick walk around the block so I can hoover does not mean abdicate responsibility and go fuck about at your moms

Personally I would order a takeaway everyone can have slow cooker meal tomorrow instead

God, these comments. Maybe his parents are their childcare bubble?? And that's why he can see them.

Tbh though OP, I dunno what you're worried about. Either let him go with the kids and enjoy an evening or peace, or say he can go alone and you have dinner with the kids if you don't want to have dinner alone?

OP, I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

1. He knew you had prepped and were cooking evening meal.
2. he knew he was to be watching the kids.
3. He knew you were busy working.
4. He knew you couldn't accompany them.( and so wouldn't be fed)

Why couldn't he have prepped and cooked the meal ?
Why couldn't he have looked after the kids at home ?
Why couldn't he arrange to visit them on a day you could all go ?
Why couldn't he have used the evening to do housework or prep for tomorrows evening meal ?
Why should he get off with doing fuck all except 'visiting' whenever it suits him ?

All the posters who think that YABU seem to be missing the point IMO.

Childcare bubbles don’t allow for socialising and dinners

Maybe his parents are their childcare bubble?? And that's why he can see them.

For childcare reasons, only - which would mean he wouldn't be there.

Maybe he's just a lazy tosser.

Is the issue really that you haven't been able to see your family as much as he sees his? Is there a reason why, like he doesn't give you the time, they live too far away for easy visits, or because you're obeying covid restrictions? I admit it would bother me if DH went to his parents often but put barriers up to my seeing mine.

It would also bother me if DH and his parents made plans then dropped them on me at the last minute, whether I was busy or not. Is there a reason you aren't invited, too?

It wouldn't bother me if my DH took the DC to his parents' for dinner per se unless I was in the middle of cooking a family dinner when he announced it. But slow cooker? Finish it and put it in the fridge. Get a takeaway or make yourself a plate of something and put your feet up.

@Vetyveriohohoh

Childcare bubbles don’t allow for socialising and dinners

Maybe OP isn't in England?

I can't see the problem, I've always encouraged my husband to take the children to see my in-laws and stay for dinner! [ grin] I get the house to myself and I choose what I want to eat without having to worry about anyone else!

@Vetyveriohohoh

Childcare bubbles don’t allow for socialising and dinners

Yeah but logically it's the same people mixing so doesn't make much difference.

Jesus the chance to have a meal in peace by yourself and tv to yourself. Or book/radio/whatever...
In the current situation I simply cannot understand why you're moaning about this 🤷🏻‍♀️