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To want to do the favour on my terms?

96 replies

fairynick · 23/03/2021 13:54

DSis asked me to do her a tech-related favour. I don’t want to say what because it’s weirdly specific and outing, but let’s say she doesn’t know how to work Amazon and wants me to order an item for her. The task will take 5 mins.
I’ve texted her back saying “of course that’s not a problem, I finish my lunch at 2pm so if you send it over by then then I’ll take a look”. She replied saying that she’s busy now so it will have to be tonight.
I have a couple of errands to run tonight so probably won’t sit down until about 8pm, which still would obviously give me time to do the favour but in all honesty I just can’t be arsed and hate knowing that there’s other things to do at the end of the day before I can relax.
I texted DSis back saying I’m quite busy tonight so don’t want to add another task to the list and I’m having to go into the office tomorrow out the house 7-7 so I’m fine taking a look and helping her but it’ll have to be either before 2pm today or Thursday.
I then received a barrage of texts along the lines of “it’s only two fucking minutes so just do it tonight you’re a nasty bitch can’t believe how fucking nasty you’re being ill never ask you for anything ever again”.

YABU - it’s a two minute job, just do it
YANBU - you’re the one doing the favour, it’s fine to set your own terms

OP posts:
EL8888 · 23/03/2021 15:31

@Mamamamasaurus exactly, if it has to be done NOW. How about if she invests time learning how to do it herself

ittakes2 · 23/03/2021 15:43

You both sound hard work to be honest. It’s taken you more than 5mins to post and follow this thread.

Feedingthebirds1 · 23/03/2021 15:44

OP is there a history of your interactions being on her terms?

Itsalonghaul · 23/03/2021 15:44

You didn't want to do it on her terms, because she is always demanding and annoying. You knew she would blow up.

This a very old dynamic between you I am guessing that pops out every few months for an airing.

LilMidge01 · 23/03/2021 15:45

You are both being unreasonable.

her for speaking to you like that

but you also for being so pernicketty (is that a word?) about a quick 2 mins favour. Fair enough to wait until the evening but odd to say you dont want to do it at 8pm and then give very specific times later in the week. It's 2mins. Also, I quickly clicked your 'see all' and saw you were posting on this thread past your '2pm' lunch end be honest, sounds like you could have easily have done this task instead of spending same amount of time or more posting and reading responses on MN!!!

What a mountain out of a molehill on both sides

Itsalonghaul · 23/03/2021 15:45

You wind her up, she blows her top and swears at you, same as you did when you 10 years old.

How have you got the energy for this?

cansu · 23/03/2021 15:46

You both sound really hard work. You for making such a fuss about when you would do this 5 min task. Her for reactibg like a teenager. V strange

RLJ1905 · 23/03/2021 15:47

You were being unreasonable. and that's coming from someone who understands how annoying it is to have a list of stuff to do in the evenings...

But then she sent you that message...and now I'd say, f**k doing her a favour...

JokeTheCoalman · 23/03/2021 15:54

Haha really

Everythingiswonderful · 23/03/2021 15:54


5mins I would have done it....I like my sister.

Me too and I know and mine would do it for me.
Doing it Thursday means it won’t be be delivered until Friday/weekend rather than tomorrow.
Winter2020 · 23/03/2021 15:56

I know you said the task isn’t actually order off amazon as you didn’t want to out yourself with the task, but is it similar in the sense that she might want you to pay for something from your money (rather than do the task because it is too difficult). She could be angry because if you don’t do the task then you won’t be paying and she was hoping to get you to pay? (depends on the task). If there is money involved I would ask for it up front in the circumstances.

FoxgloveBee · 23/03/2021 16:00

So she can be busy now, but you can't be busy tonight?!

I can't believe she spoke to you like that, it's horrendous. I wouldn't do any favours for her until she apologises and explained her reaction.

Is she a teenager?

SeaShoreGalore · 23/03/2021 16:01

I just don’t get why you’re making it a big deal I’m happy to do it if it takes two mins I could’ve done it by now hahaha

You’ve basically just said it’s OK to speak to you like that.

Daisy8181 · 23/03/2021 16:07

I think you’re both being hard work and unreasonable Confused

She’s your sister, and if the favour was really that quick to do I don’t really understand why you was being so difficult about it and making a fuss about wanting to relax tonight- it’s hardly a hard task is it. You could of said yeah sure send it, and then did it when you was free.

However, in your defence she shouldn’t of spoken to you like that, regardless of this issue.

I’m quite shocked some siblings and families act like this tbh. Favours and nice things shouldn’t be coming at huge prices and comparing yourselves in terms of who is most busy Blush

MyPantsAreInsideOut · 23/03/2021 16:22

As my dear departed mum used to say, "you two need your bloody heads banging together".

Why don't you just stop playing silly little games with each other over such trivial crap.

Chloemol · 23/03/2021 16:25

YANBU. And I would be texting back, ok I won’t do it at all now, find some other mug

stayathomer · 23/03/2021 16:31

For something you thought was such a small task I dont get why it was such a big deal and why you couldn't do it at for example 8 o clock tonight. And if she can't do it she would have been overthinking it, hence her setting a specific time. Saying that you need to tell her talking to you like that is not on

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 23/03/2021 16:42

You have her two options an immediate one on the day or Thursday as you were busy. I think that is more than accommodating and you didn't deserve to be called a nasty bitch because you don't jump when she yells. If you had done that, and felt annoyed, people would be telling you to be more assertive and stand up for yourself. You did, and braved the reaction. That's part of standing up for yourself and not letting other people manipulate you with their threat of bad temper.
She's rude and entitled.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 23/03/2021 16:42


chaosrabbitland · 23/03/2021 16:43

dearie me ,iv asked my best friend for a favour and hes said he cant do it straight away and i havent responded with a barrage like that ! im wondering if its something she really urgently needs or if its an item theres only 1 left on stock of and shes panicking it might sell out ,in which case she should have explained and done a bit of pleading ,

TillyTopper · 23/03/2021 16:50

If she spoke to me like that I'd not do the favour or offer again. I wouldn't reply either, but I would screenshot the evidence and potentially block her. That's very nasty language.

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