Anyone else have a family member OBSESSED with politics?

[HerbalTeaz]

It’s really getting me down.

About 10 years ago my dad had a sudden change of political views. He was born in Scotland (military family) but family English and grew up in England, private school etc. Never seemed to have any issues with his identity, was quite middle of the road in his views etc.

About ten years ago he remarried, his wife is from UK but not England. Overnight he suddenly ‘declared’ he was actually Scottish (seriously), that he was SNP, how much he hates England (Westminster in particular) for ‘oppressing’ the other countries in the UK.

I’m fine with his political views, it’s more the sudden change of nationality (he left Scotland at a few months old and doesn’t have a drop of Scottish blood), and the sudden pure hatred he seems to have for English people. He rants at me and my siblings about the Tories using the word ‘you’ - as if we are somehow responsible for everything because we’re English. It’s all he ever talks about. We have a group WhatsApp and all he posts is about how evil the Tories are, how he feels sorry for us living here (he moved abroad recently), and perceived atrocities the English government have committed, past and present.

We have tried reasoning with him but it has no effect, if anything it makes him more angry. He has a drink problem and often texts after a few glasses of wine, sometimes as early as 10am.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? It’s ruined our relationship and he has become a bitter and angry old man.

Have you tried what he says roll away, uncommented on? Engage only when he's not talking politics? I don't think you have to try to change his way of thinking, but if you 'grey rock' him when he starts, he should learn that it's futile (fairest to warn him first if you have an otherwise decent relationship)
The drinking does add complications though.

Tried *letting what he says roll away, sorry

Yes we ignore probably 99% of what he says or just change the subject, but it hasn’t made any difference in ten years he’s still just as obsessed as he was back then.

Does he even live in Scotland?!

It’s very embarrassing as he also rants about it endlessly to our friends, partners, neighbours, whoever - no matter how bemused or uncomfortable they look.

@HollowTalk

Does he even live in Scotland?!

No. His only link is that he was born there, because of the military, and moved away at a few months old. It’s bizarre isn’t it.

It is bizarre but all you can do is ignore it. And try not to feel responsible for how annoying he is to other people. How far away do you live from him?
I'm wondering if it could be stopped with a regular 'not now dad' kind of response. Quite honestly I tend to simply walk away when someone starts like that. It might be rude, but it's also very rude to go on at people like he does.

I really feel for you, but I dont think theres much you can do. My dads like this and I blanket agree with everything he says then mention something unrelated, to try and move the conversation on. He does have dementia though and his views are much less offensive! Sorry I cant help further.

He lives on mainland Europe now and we are in England, so we haven’t seen him since before covid. But he still bombards us with messages and phone calls. He’s so confrontational even saying ‘not now’ would result in a fresh rant.

Personally I think it could be a sign of something deeper, mental issues? not fitting in so trying to find a new community (of cybernat crazys??!!)?

I definitely think it’s some kind of midlife crisis identity issue. He supports Scotland in the rugby, wears ‘Scotland’ t-shirts, even has Scottish themed ornaments around his house and a Scotland phone cover etc. Honestly, it’s a full on obsession.

@Stichintime

I really feel for you, but I dont think theres much you can do. My dads like this and I blanket agree with everything he says then mention something unrelated, to try and move the conversation on. He does have dementia though and his views are much less offensive! Sorry I cant help further.

I’m sorry you’re in the same sort of position, I know deep down I can’t do anything about it, I suppose I’m just looking to vent really!

@HerbalTeaz

I definitely think it’s some kind of midlife crisis identity issue. He supports Scotland in the rugby, wears ‘Scotland’ t-shirts, even has Scottish themed ornaments around his house and a Scotland phone cover etc. Honestly, it’s a full on obsession.

I feel sorry for his friends and neighbors.

I know a couple of people (and wrote a thread about it on here) who have had complete personality transplants due to Covid.

One that was fairly outgoing almost becoming a recluse, one that was somewhat left wing associating with right-wing lockdown protests (and actually attending them).

In both cases, I see it as a sign if mental illness.

Yes, it wasn’t a sort of gradual shift, it was literally overnight. I feel like the dad I had before no longer exists. It’s like he’s been replaced by a Scottish Hilaria Baldwin!

I guess I was hoping it was a phase but it seems it’s here to stay

The problem is his alcoholism surely?

@ArosGartref

The problem is his alcoholism surely?

It makes it worse, that is for sure. But he’s always been a functional alcoholic. There’s no way he will ever stop.

I feel mixed feelings about this I do think it maybe a sign of mental illness disorder in some way

And these lockdowns and pandemic making so many people feeling socially isolated etc .!

I also think if he has access to the internet social media he will have company with other like minded people to
so he feels less socially isolated more accepted too.!

However I happen to agree British history historically is a LOT About Oppression of different cultures,
such as imposing their will ect on to people and in other countries.

I come from Afro carribean heritage and I definitely know all about this,
Just take a vist to the British museum in London
read history books
Its very well known fact !

Your father is just being too honest ,to truthful that's it really !

It could be a sign though of early/late onset of Dementia or the other Health disorder elderly people can get !
I can not spell it ,(but I know it begins with the letter A !

@thosetalesofunexpected

I feel mixed feelings about this I do think it maybe a sign of mental illness disorder in some way

And these lockdowns and pandemic making so many people feeling socially isolated etc .!

I also think if he has access to the internet social media he will have company with other like minded people to
so he feels less socially isolated more accepted too.!

However I happen to agree British history historically is a LOT About Oppression of different cultures,
such as imposing their will ect on to people and in other countries.

I come from Afro carribean heritage and I definitely know all about this,
Just take a vist to the British museum in London
read history books
Its very well known fact !

Your father is just being too honest ,to truthful that's it really !

It could be a sign though of early/late onset of Dementia or the other Health disorder elderly people can get !
I can not spell it ,(but I know it begins with the letter A !

I know - I said, I have no issues with his views (Apart from I wish he wouldn’t go on about them quite as much).

It’s that he’s changed his nationality overnight and become very racist to English people.

When he is channelling his inner Scotsman quote from The Blood Donor, 'We're not all Rob Roys' in the poshest accent you can manage, it might shut him up a bit.
Offer to paint his face blue and white, a la the Braveheart bloke.

I imagine you can blame a lot of it on social media. Ten years on, it can't all be Alzheimer's. The alcohol will have a lot to do with his inability to censor himself too. Nothing you can do I think. He sounds extremely difficult but it isn't your fault
Not surprised you're feeling the need to vent.
Can we assume you have a separate WhatsApp chat for your family minus ranty dad?

My FIL is a bit like this. He's very right wing, a Brexiteer etc and goes on about it everytime we go over there. I'm fairly left leaning so find it difficult to listen to. My MIL is also right wing and they both get all their views from the DM.

Aside from that I just don't want to constantly listen to political rants everytime I go over there. When I've been asked questions I just say that I prefer not to talk about politics as I know FIL just wants a loud debate. He also makes disparaging comments about Scotland as he knows I have Scottish family so does it to wind me up. When I see them I just want to talk about light hearted topics and not listen to their moaning and ranting about things I don't agree with anyway!

@callmeH

When he is channelling his inner Scotsman quote from The Blood Donor, 'We're not all Rob Roys' in the poshest accent you can manage, it might shut him up a bit. Offer to paint his face blue and white, a la the Braveheart bloke.

Ha! I once superimposed his face onto a photo of Braveheart and put it in the whatsapp group - he didn’t see the funny side..

@flipflop76

My FIL is a bit like this. He's very right wing, a Brexiteer etc and goes on about it everytime we go over there. I'm fairly left leaning so find it difficult to listen to. My MIL is also right wing and they both get all their views from the DM.

Aside from that I just don't want to constantly listen to political rants everytime I go over there. When I've been asked questions I just say that I prefer not to talk about politics as I know FIL just wants a loud debate. He also makes disparaging comments about Scotland as he knows I have Scottish family so does it to wind me up. When I see them I just want to talk about light hearted topics and not listen to their moaning and ranting about things I don't agree with anyway!

Poor you, it’s exhausting isn’t it? You just walk away feeling mentally battered! How are some people’s social skills so bad? Or do they just not care that they’re switching everyone off?

It sounds more like a mental health issue than just an obsession with politics, especially if it's all he wants to talk about