Anyone else have a family member OBSESSED with politics?

[HerbalTeaz]

It’s really getting me down.

About 10 years ago my dad had a sudden change of political views. He was born in Scotland (military family) but family English and grew up in England, private school etc. Never seemed to have any issues with his identity, was quite middle of the road in his views etc.

About ten years ago he remarried, his wife is from UK but not England. Overnight he suddenly ‘declared’ he was actually Scottish (seriously), that he was SNP, how much he hates England (Westminster in particular) for ‘oppressing’ the other countries in the UK.

I’m fine with his political views, it’s more the sudden change of nationality (he left Scotland at a few months old and doesn’t have a drop of Scottish blood), and the sudden pure hatred he seems to have for English people. He rants at me and my siblings about the Tories using the word ‘you’ - as if we are somehow responsible for everything because we’re English. It’s all he ever talks about. We have a group WhatsApp and all he posts is about how evil the Tories are, how he feels sorry for us living here (he moved abroad recently), and perceived atrocities the English government have committed, past and present.

We have tried reasoning with him but it has no effect, if anything it makes him more angry. He has a drink problem and often texts after a few glasses of wine, sometimes as early as 10am.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? It’s ruined our relationship and he has become a bitter and angry old man.

He’s been like this for about 10 years but only moved to the continent a couple of years ago.

I really think it is more of an identity crisis that a genuine conversion to the SNP - I think part of him enjoys being anti-establishment and have some kind of niche cultural identity, if that makes sense?

He’s in his early 60s so I would be surprised if it was dementia

Yes infuriating is one word to describe it! I have learned to detach myself from the diatribe of nonsense but it’s an in law so I have that luxury that it’s not a parent.

Here’s the Stately Homes latest thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4182916-March-2021-Well-we-took-you-to-Stately-Homes-thread

It’s a classic bully tactic to blame the person who called out your behaviour and twist it and make you out to be the bad one. Or portray you as crazy, unhinged and so on.

Do you have siblings that also are dealing with this? Make sure you are all on the same page so he can’t use the above tactics to divide you.

@HerbalTeaz

He’s been like this for about 10 years but only moved to the continent a couple of years ago.

I really think it is more of an identity crisis that a genuine conversion to the SNP - I think part of him enjoys being anti-establishment and have some kind of niche cultural identity, if that makes sense?

I knew an elderly person (now dead) who always ranted about politics, hated everyone but hated right wingers more than left-wingers....but never bothered to actually cast his vote...apart from this reasonably normal!

@Rainbowshine

Thanks for the link, I will have a look.

Yes my siblings are just as fed up as I am - the general modus operandi until now has been to ignore, nod and smile, or change the subject - we hoped if we starved him of attention he would calm down, but I think we are all reaching the end of our tether with it now. Brexit and COVID have made it so much worse because there’s always something new to rant about.

You need to get yourself some detachment techniques. I imagine said in law as one of those grumpy men that always criticised everything from the Muppets. Or play “Rant Bingo” to tick off the predictable things that they bring up. Etc. I don’t have the direct relationship though, and no alcohol issues, with mine.

Oh my god, yes!!! My mother is like this. Literally every conversation we have is steered into politics. It’s exhausting. She’s very left leaning which aligns with my beliefs but it’s never ending. I even had the rant about vaccine nationalism someone mentioned upthread.

We spent twenty mins recently discussing a friends divorce, in which she managed to sidestep into brexit because aforementioned divorcees parents wouldn’t be able to get away for a break to Europe because of brexit... it was so random. No link to conversation at all.

I have asked her to stop talking about brexit. Now she talks about Tory corruption and flag shaggers instead.

It’s really awful. I’ve no suggestions, but you aren’t alone.

I think I could cope with it if it was genuine discussion without the aggression and malice - it would be very dull but I’d be able to ignore it to a point. Honestly though his tone is so nasty.

My husband and mother in law drove me mad especially when the amercian electioj was on. They stayed up and watched rallys and even watched you tube all night.

My Dad has become an avid SNP supporter.... if we speak on the phone all I hear about is the marvelous NS and JS... who I happen not to think are 100% marvelous, which is fine but it’s ALL he talks about. It does my head in as can’t actually speak about anything else without it being linked back to wonderful SNP/ awful Boris (who I do think is awful but I’m trying not to think about him too much for my own sanity’s sake). I’ve started ignoring calls as I don’t have the emotional energy for it..... having said all that your situation sounds even harder 💐 x